A Most Unlikely Rider
by NeonZangetsu
Summary: You know, after all these trials, all those tribulations, after everything I've done...I didn't expect to actually die. And yet I did. Murdered by my best friend, no less. Of course I'd jump at a chance to change my Fate. No matter the cost. Help a little chick fly? Done. Fight another war? Done. Lose my mind? Already did! A Most Unlikely Rider, indeed! Narutoxharem.
1. Pre-Selection

**A/N: DICLAIMER!**

 **I!**

 **OWN!**

 **NOTHING!**

 **Now, if you're not familiar with Fate Extra/CCC/Extella/Extella Link, you're gonna be confused. This story aims to cover each of these games alongside other events. There, I've said it plain.**

 **Demanding, aren't you guys?**

 **I was content with what I'd written in the Fate universe but then people starting PM'ing me about Fate Extra. What's that, I thought? Is it any good, I thought? Long story short I ordered it online, waited a few days, then popped it into my dusty 'ol PSP last night It was a good game I thought, right up unti I encountered Alice...and had to kill her.**

 **MISTAKES WERE MADE.**

 **Needless to say I felt horrible...**

 **Before anyone asks, I'm aware of Last Encore and its even more soul-wrenching than this. I've resolved not to finish watching that until I finish Extra and CCC. Before anyone asks, I may well write a less serious version of this in the future. For now, I hope you enjoy this.**

 **As ever, reviews feed my engine of creation, so keep at it~!**

 _"What are you?"_

 _"Hmm...Rider, I guess?"_

 _"That doesn't answer my question!"_

 _"Sure it does. You're just not asking the right one."_

~?

 **Ghost**

 _Well, this is an unfortunate turn of events isn't it?_

 _After all these trials, all these tribulations, after everything I'd said and done...I really didn't expect to die. I might've said as much, but to actually feel my life leaving me...its a chilling thing. Don't get me wrong;_ _I'm not bitter about my loss; on the contrary, I just don't have it in me to hate someone. I gave it all I had. Every fiber of my being, every last drop of chakra. I shouldn't have any regrets. I'm sure Neji and Jiraiya probably didn't die with any in their hearts when their time came. And yet..._

 _Yet here I am, bleeding out._

 _Killed by my best friend._

 _Dying._

 _Did I reach him with my words? Did I kill him, as he killed me? I don't know. Everything's gone black._ _We won, in a sense. Kaguya's gone, sealed away where humanity can never reach her. Ha. I can take some pride in that, at least. With Black Zetsu annihilated, there's no one left to try. So why do I feel so empty inside?_ _I can feel someone holding my hand. Who? I can't see anyone. I can't hear anything._

 _Kurama? Are you there? Can you hear me? Anyone?_

 _I don't want to die; not here...not like this._

 _I just need another chance, that's all._

 _I wasn't strong enough this time._

 _Next time I'll prove myself._

 _Next time...I won't fail._

 _Next time...I will..._

* * *

 _(...Centuries Later...)_

* * *

Was she really going to die here?

 _No._

Her body felt like lead, her limbs twisted and mangled by this, her most unseemly defeat. Her world had grown foggy, and her vision dim even the memory of her own name threatened to escape her, to slip away into the fog of forgetfulness should she allow it. No. Remember. Hakuno. Yes. That was her name. Hakuno Kishinami. The effigy may have broken her body, but it had not-could not-take her mind. She clung to them, grasping the words like a raft in the storm. Though wave upon wave of pain buffeted her, still she clung on.

 _I don't want to die._

She didn't want it to end like this. She'd tried so hard. Come so far. In the end...did it really matter? Of course it did! Some small part of her raged against her own powerlessness as the specter of death loomed over her, screaming her determination. Though her five senses threatened to rip themselves from her very body, though her every waking moment was naught but pain, still she

 _I exist! I want to live! I AM ALIVE!_

To her great-but not unwelcome-disbelief, someone answered her silent plea.

 _ **"Hahaha! Yes! I like that resolve of yours! Very well!"**_

The sound of shattered glass rent her ears.

Light cut through the gloom.

Hakuno opened her eyes.

"You have called me!"

"Who...?"

Somehow she managed to move her battered body, to lift her aching head and witness the miracle taking place before her. Something was slowly rising up from the floor in the middle of the room, a solid figure taking shape from the aether. A human? No, its appearance was clearly humanoid but something was different about it. Strikingly so. An open black-orange coat draped down from broad shoulders, fluttering in an unseen breeze of their arrival. No, not a coat she realized, but rather part of a jumpsuit of some sort, garishly bright and black and _so very orange._ Who even wore that kind of attire?

Perhaps sensing her curiosity, the newcomer turned.

The weight of his regard threatened to suffocate her on the spot.

A gentle glow engulfed her torn frame, easing the pain, mending her wounds.

"So my first Master is a girl, huh?" his voice emerged as a low drawl between them, rubbing pleasantly against her ears. "Suppose I don't have much room to complain this time around. Still, just to be sure...I'll stick to the formalities, just this once."

In a sudden blur, he knelt before her.

"So, little squirrel, I ask of you...Are You My Master?"

 _Blue._

That was her first thought as she took her measure of him; striking azure orbs framed by whiskered cheeks and a scraggly mop of blond hair. A battered headband of some sort hung around his neck, its emblem so faded as to be rendered nearly unrecognizable, yet her gaze lingered on the emblem all the same. What was it? A leaf? Without thinking she reached for it, pale fingertips grasping against the worn metal. It proved surprisingly, impossibly warm to the touch, and for a moment, just a moment she glimpse an inscrutable expression etched into that whiskered visage.

What was a Master?

Hakuno couldn't claim to know.

Nor did she understand who she faced.

She couldn't be expected to know much of anything, really. If the world were a sea, then she was naught but a guppy taking her first swim. A mere minnow among sharks. The being before here was undoubtedly such a creature, someone who could crush her as surely as breathing. Even now the energy radiating from him threatened to crush her very spirit.

And yet...

There was a strange boldness to that gaze, a surety of purpose she found herself craving. It promised strength. Safety. She wanted that. Needed it. After the harrowing events of the last few hours she longed for safe harbor in the storm, for a moment of respite, if nothing else. She had but to say yes. To say no now would condemn her. Doom her as surely as death.

Words tumbled out of her of their own accord:

"I...yes."

Just like that, the strange sense of menace mysteriously abated.

Whiskered cheeks dimpled out at her in a lazy smile.

"Well said! Courage is the first step on the road to adventure." Satisfied by her response, the blond reached down and gently took her by the hand, helping her to her feet. "Up you go, then!"

"Wait, what are you _-yeek!"_

Pain blazed across her palm, not from his simple gesture of kindness, but what followed. When she dared to search for the source of this sudden searing of her synapses she found it readily. Her hand. A series of strange scarlet marks blazed up at her in the form of a twisted tattoo, pulsing in time with the beating of her head.

"Well, that proves it." Rider hummed. "You've got the Command Spells."

Alternating between baffled glances at her savior and her sudden subsequent marking, Hakuno could only stutter at the words.

"I don't...what...who are you?"

To her initial relief, her newfound ally actually replied...

...albeit not at all in the way she'd expected.

"Servant! Uzumaki Naruto!" he beamed, thrusting one arm forward and casting his head back to strike what he no doubt believed to be a gallant pose. "At your service!"

Silence reigned between Master and Servant.

Quietly, almost sheepishly, the whiskered warrior straightened his back.

...tch. How the hell does Ero-Senin pull that off?"

Despite herself, the brunette balked at him.

 _"What_ are you?" she repeated.

"Hmm...I'd say...Rider, I guess?" the blond frowned thoughtfully, thumbing his chin in consideration. "I don't feel like an Assassin. I don't have "that" so I ain't in the Archer class. Kinda feel _sane_ so I can't be a Berserker. Caster? Hmm. No, would have more energy for that class at least. But this _is_ a Holy Grail War, just not the sort I'm used to...

Hakuno felt her world began to spin as the Servant continued to ramble on.

Classes?

Holy Grail War?

"Can't be Saber or Lancer because...reasons." Pacing away, the blond spun and gave her a searching look. "Ruler? No, I wouldn't have a Master if I'd been summoned as that, and Avenger _sure as hell_ isn't my forte, so...hmm! Yes! That settles it!" an emphatic nod followed this sudden statement, a declaration of such surety that she couldn't help but agree with him despite her own misgivings. "Gotta be a Rider! Lucky me~! This is the perfect class for yours truly!"

Hakuno felt her mouth twitch.

"That still doesn't answer my question."

Whiskered cheeks dimpled in a slight, faux smile.

"Of course it does. You're just not asking the right one-oh!"

As she looked on a tiny creature clamored out of Rider's jacket and up onto his shoulder.

At first Kishinami couldn't believe her eyes. The creature was small, to the point of fitting in one's palm. No larger than a puppy. T'was a frail-looking creature all things considered, red as blood, bearing nine tails of crimson fur behind its back. Crimson eyes regarded her with a keen interest, yet they lacked the subtle curiosity of their host. Its ears gave a sullen twitch as she weathered its gaze. Small. Tiny. Furry. Hakuno stiffened at the sight of it. Indeed, although her situation remained dire...

 _...she wanted to pet this creature._

Her fingers twitched longingly.

Naruto laughed.

"I wouldn't if I were you. This little guy's more than he seems." a stray finger rose, petting the crimson kitsune on the head and nearly being bitten for it. "He's my...partner, I guess you could say, and liable to snap at you if ya try. Shame, really. He's usually loads bigger than this."

She expected a squeak of some sort.

What followed utterly defied her expectations.

 **"Bite me, brat! How did I get dragged into this summoning?!"**

Instead a surprisingly deep voice resonated from the tiny creature, emanating in a stray snarl. It was so utterly at odds with his appearance that Hakuno couldn't help but blink. Quite suddenly her once burning desire to pat that fuzzy little head found itself cooled by the waters of uncertainty.

"Hell if I know, Kurama!" came the lazy reply. "I didn't even think we _could_ be summoned here!"

 **"Well clearly we were! You had something to do with this, didn't you?!"**

"C'mon, now! Don't be like that! What could I have possible done to-

Before Rider could hope to finish, the little fox lunged at his head.

 **"I DEMAND RETRIBUTION!"**

 _"WhyareyoubitingmefurballOHGODITSINTHEBONEINTHEBONE!"_

Somehow, watching the two of them squabble-or flail in Naruto's case-lifted a great weight from her shoulders, one she hadn't even realized she'd been bearing. Perhaps she'd been wrong to think of him as a shark. Gazing at him now she could only think of him as a great, big, fluffy bear...if bears could be harmless. No, perhaps that was the wrong designation for him after all. Watching Rider bicker with his "partner" ignited a strange longing in her breast, one she couldn't quantify. It felt almost painful-

A sharp creaking noise plucked her from her reverie and jerked her back to reality.

"What...?"

As she turned to comprehend this sudden sound she beheld the battered effigy rising clumsily once more. Thought it had gone dormant with her defeat, the arrival of her "Servant" had stirred it back to life. It rose with strange, clunky movements, yet nevertheless its intent became terribly clear as that faceless gaze found hers.

Her hopes sank with its rise.

Death.

Memories of her previous defeat surged back to the fore, stifling all sense. She was no match for this creature. It had already bested her once; doubtlessly it would do so again. Her body betrayed her, shrinking back before the doll's stiff advance. She winced uncontrollably. To fight it alone would be folly; she would fall in a single blow, just as she had before. Sensing her fear, the creature advanced, its sightless gaze fixed upon her with frightful intensity, those spindly arms rising for a killing stroke.

"Ho? What's this? A puppet?"

Thus it came as something of a surprise when Rider strode past her.

Cocking his head inquisitively, the whiskered warrior regarded her foe with a hint of intrigue, and Kurama with him. Any hint of their argument had all but evaporated. Together they stood-well, Naruto did the standing and the little fox clung stubbornly to his shoulder, but still!-between her and that terrible, ghastly abomination. In the light its limber body almost seemed to warm and twist, every motion producing a harsh clicking sound. For all her prior courage, it was all Hakuno could do not to cower behind her new ally.

Said ally noticed immediately.

"Think it understands us?" Rider posited.

 **"Unlikely."** Kurama rumbled. **"I don't sense any real intelligence from it."**

"Pity." that stern expression never wavered for a moment as they turned to face their shared foe. "Hey, scarecrow! I'd ask you to stand aside...but you can't understand us, can you?"

A menacing creak was the being's sole response.

Naruto bared his fangs in reply.

"As I thought. You're a doll, right? Seems you gave our Master here quite the fright earlier."

In spite of their words, the effigy still shuffled forward, one stiff step at a time. Did it understand? Hakuno almost wondered. It had dispatched her own effigy with ruthless efficiency earlier, thus it clearly knew the basics of combat that she had yet to grasp. Could it comprehend human speech? It certainly hadn't when she'd begged for mercy. Or was it merely cruel?

 **"So we don't have to feel bad about breaking _you_ , then?"**

With those words the air _...changed._

Hakuno couldn't think of a better way to describe the phenomenon; in place of that once-affable smile the blond's expression turned steely and his shadow writhed into something hideous. Gone was that resolute surety, replaced by...well, she'd hesitate to call it an aura of bloodlust, but rather one of thinly restrained fury-better yet, wrath. Twin eyes the color of blood fell upon the twisted doll in silent scorn. No taunts came forth. No jabs followed. Only simple, righteous anger, focused upon a single point.

In the face of this sudden change, the effigy hesitated, if only for a moment before resuming its awkward march.

"Looks like its time for our debut, Kurama!"

 **"Don't boss me around!"**

With a wordless cry, the effigy lunged...

...straight into the arms of death.

Rider's first punch barreled through spindly arms to eviscerate the doll's chest as though it were mere wood. The second took it a step further, sending shards of foreign material flying through the air to join the remnants of the first. No, not a punch, Hakuno realized. He hadn't even budged. Rather, his body simply seemed to blur. When it struggled to right itself and attack again, the effigy met the same fate. An unseen assault ripped into its body and cast it to the ground. Frantic, it cut out at his face with both legs as it tumbled away.

Here at last, Rider finally moved.

Storming forward, her Servant took the ineffectual kick straight to his torso and advanced, seizing the effigy by its mangled legs. Startled by what it viewed as a clean hit, the doll hesitated. This would prove to be its first-and last-mistake of the battle. Seizing it by one of its thin legs, Rider snapped his arm forward and spun, physically flinging the false creature face-first against the ground. Back. Forth. Laughter sprang from his lips as he batted the effigy to and fro, relentlessly crushing it into the floor without care.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

Upon the fourth slam he release the effigy, allowing its warped torso to flounder away...or so it seemed. Rather than retreat, Rider advanced, raising an arm.

"Right then," he hummed aloud, "Thanks for being our guinea pig. Time to send you off in style."

A hand rose, and with a sudden rush of heat and light, cradled something that could only be described as a _sphere_ within his palm. Swelling larger with each passing second, it proved almost painful to look at. Its purpose was simple, its objective nigh. With a thunderous cry its owner slid beneath a sweeping strike, crouching low and hard against the ground. For a fleeting instant, the effigy beheld that sphere as he leaped, that blue-white orb of death shooting down like a comet from on high.

Then he struck.

"Rasengan."

With that benign declaration this seemingly innocuous orb did what brute strength alone could not; boring forward to shatter all defenses. Caught unprepared the effigy could offer little in the way of a block; even then its meager guard was swiftly overwhelmed. With a keening hiss the snarling sphere roared down and obliterated its torso entirely. Its head followed shortly thereafter. Still Rider didn't relent, grinding his enemy against the ground until naught but a shattered shell remained.

Torn apart, the ruined doll collapsed into driftwood at their feet, cast aside like a broken toy.

It was quick.

Downright ruthless, even.

Just how agile was Rider, really?

Throughout it all, her "Servant" had barely moved.

"Hmmm...we're definitely weaker." Rider paused, considering his now-outstretched fist. "At our peak we would've taken that thing out with one punch."

 **"Don't you DARE use that reference."** Kurama growled.

"Tch. Spoilsport. Never let me have any fun...

Striding past her, he gave the effigy's remains a harsh kick, obliterating them entirely.

"Well...I guess its to be expected." strong arms crossed behind his head. "With a novice Master we wouldn't be at full power right off the bat. Ah, well. Starting over's half the fun! At least we kept most of our speed!"

An outraged squawk greeted him. **"Fun?! You call this fun?! You get a full-fledged body, yet I shrunk instead! How is this fair?!"**

"Well we're here after all," here the blond's expression did turn contemplative. "Which means we've got another shot at life. Which means we can get our wish. All we have to do is win...in theory."

 **...when did you get this damned smart?"**

"Eh, blame the grail, fuzzball."

 **"I'd rather blame YOU-**

It was too much.

Though they pair continued to squabble Hakuno scarcely heard either of them. Less so, when that unseen voice began speaking again.

The heat radiating from her hand, stifled during the fight, chose that moment to return with the fury of a thousand suns. She'd been able to manage thus far on willpower alone, a heady rush of adrenaline and endorphins distracting her from the very real danger of exhaustion. With the danger past, the stress reached critical levels. All she'd seen, all she'd done, the promise of fresh battle and more bloodshed...when faced with so much in such a limited amount of time, her mind shut down. Too much stimuli in too short a time.

Quite simply put, Hakuno reached her limit.

She couldn't take it anymore.

Her world went black.

 _"Master?!"_

 **A/N:...**

 **Writing with one arm isn't fun.**

 **Writing while in crippling PAIN isn't fun.**

 **Writing when your heart is SHATTERED isn't fun either.**

 **But I made a promise to you, old friend, and I aim to keep it. This one's for you, may you see bluer skies than I~!**

 ***raises glass in a toast***

 **Well I promised a story with Naruto as a Rider class, so here it is. Yes, yes, yes; before anyone asks, this Naruto obviously ISN'T at his peak due to having little Hakuno as his Master. That'll change of course. This Naruto IS the Naruto from canon. The only difference? Sasuke killed him in his final battle. Thus he kept both arms and a good bit of his power. I don't want to hear cries of him being nerfed, like Saber and Caster, he essentially has to claw back his power.** **And now he's come to Fate Extra.**

 **Going to write a less serious story of this in the future.**

 **Now when I say future I mean...I dunno...tomorrow maybe?**

 **Yes, I'm quite literally that riled up at the moment. My apologies.**

 **How do I put this...Rani and Rin routes aside...**

 **...this is going to be one hell of a ride.**

 **So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the previews!**

 **Potential ones at that!**

 **(Previews)**

 _"You call her a helpless little chick..._

 _Blue eyes burned red._

 _"But this little chick will rule the Moon Cell one day."_

* * *

 _"_ _...Rider?"_

 _Hakuno cocked her head._

 _As ever, the jovial blond's smile never wavered._

 _"C'mon, why the long face, Master? Ask me anything you like, really! Ask away!"_

 _...why is the entire room orange?" After a moment, this was the question she asked of him. "Its ugly."_

 _Much to her surprise, Naruto tumbled off the chair with a startled squawk as though she'd actually **struck** him._

 _"Ack?! You wound me Master! Your words cut deep!" a hand rose, clutching at his heart. "I don't think I'll ever be whole again!"_

 _Despite her best efforts, the brunette felt her worries ebbing away. Had that been his intention all along? She almost wondered about that..._

 _"About that Red Saber..._

 _"Hmm? I've got a good idea of who she is. No need to worry, I don't think she's our enemy. If anything..._

 _Blue eyes twinkled with mild merriment._

 _"I'd say she's quite taken with you."_

 _Hakuno absolutely sputtered._

 _"Hweh?!"_

* * *

 _"Tch. What kind of weakass servant is this?"_

 _Impossibly, the blond's smile grew._

 _"Go ahead. Keep digging, bub."_

 _Drake audibly gulped._

 _"Ah, Shinji? Maybe-_

 _"Kurama. **BITE."**_

 _"WAAARGH!"_

* * *

 _"Do you know WHY I answered when you called, Master?"_

 _"No, why?"_

 _A small, sad smile answered._

 _"Because we're alike. We're both losers."_

* * *

 _"You're just a bit of data. There's nothing real about you."  
_

 _Pitying eyes found him._

 _"Even so...I won't forsake her."_

* * *

 _"You know, Tohsaka...you almost remind me of someone. Another Master "I" once had. She had your face, you know. But you're not her, and that's neither here nor there I suppose. The memories of "that" Naruto aren't my memories and "my" actions aren't "his." Still, for his sake, I'll repeat my offer. Back down. Right now."_

 _"_ _You won't get anywhere with that wishy-washy attitude._ _This is a war. People will die. You have to accept it."_

 _"And who decided that?" Rider replied glibly. "Hmm?"_

 _"What? The Moon Cell of course, that's-_

 ** _"No."_**

 _"I beg your pardon?"_

 _Blue eyes gleamed with resolve._

 _"The answer is obvious. WE decide such things."_

 **R &R~! =D**


	2. First Selection (Part I)

**A/N: (EDIT: Polished up some stuff and added more content!)**

 **Well.**

 **My team lost last weekend.**

 **Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.**

 **Still feeling a bit loopy from surgery, so excuse any typos. I've got more surgery planned in the future.** **On another note my birthday is coming up soon! In short, yes! A birthday update just for you guys! WHOOOOOOOO!** **Still, I'm not too happy about this closer to the big 30. Uggggggh. Still, I survived for another year. That's something to be proud of considering my health issues I suppose~!**

 **DISCLAIMER!**

 **I!**

 **OWN!**

 **NOTHING!**

 **Now onto your questions!**

 **Q: This Naruto is OUR Naruto?! Sweet!**

 **A: Pretty much. His legend isn't twisted in the least; he's one hundred percent the real deal, with knowledge thrown his way by the grail. Death hasn't soured his outlook on life, if anything, it gave him perspective. Not quite mature, but not so bone-headedly naive either. He wants to undo his "death" to be sure, but he's not obsessed with the idea. Really, all that is secondary compared to Hakuno in his mind. She asked for help. He answered. Its just the sort of thing he'd do, wouldn't you think?**

 **Really, this outcome was an obvious one.**

 **Of course he'd help her.  
**

 **Wouldn't you?**

 **Q: How weak is Naruto presently?**

 **A: As I've said, he's not packing his full strength at the moment due to having Hakuno as his Master. Literally ALL his and Kurama's stats save agility are ranked down to E. That'll soon change once he starts grinding; and we all know Naruto never does anything by halves...**

 **...he's going to be a monster.**

 **Q: What kind of skills are we looking at for Naruto here?**

 **A: This chapter gives a hint towards some. For instance; Promise of a Lifetime, relating to a certain oath made while he was alive. If someone pure of heart asks-begs!-rider to help them of their own accord without ulterior motives, he's not only HEAVILY compelled to do so-to the point that resisting lowers all stats-but gets receives a major boost should he accept. All his stats receive a temporary rank up for a limited period of time. The more difficult the promise, the higher the boost.**

 **Cannot be stacked unless strict conditions are activated.**

 **Breaking said promise inflicts a permanent rank down on all associated stats. Conversely, fulfilling it makes the rank-up permanent. I'm sure you see why this could be so useful...and have several deadly drawbacks.**

 **Q: What're we looking at for pairings?**

 **A: Naruto and Hakuno may well have their own separate harems. Dwell on that.**

 **Q: Don't you dare kill them.**

 **A: Kill who? Theoretically its possible to save a Servant and make another contract with them before they vanish. Hakuno did in Extella. They even stated as much. The strain can prove lethal to an unprepared Master already supporting a Servant, however.**

 **Q: Just what kind of story are we talking about here?**

 **A: Anyone familiar with Fate Extra/CCC/Extella/Link knows there's plenty of material to be had.**

 **Q: What kind of madness as we talking about here?**

 **A: I know Fate Extra and its affiliated games aren't quite as popular when it comes to Grand Order, but they still hold a special place in my heart. Its about story. Heart, you know? Hakuno and her chosen Servant start as the literal WEAKEST of the bunch in the beginning, but by the end she's literally the queen of the Moon Cell. Hell, if you play our cards right, even Gilgamesh takes a liking to Hakuno by the end of CCC.**

 **GILGAMESH!**

 **Let that sink in for a moment!**

 **Q: Wait a hot minute! DON'T YOU DARE EXCLUDE THE UMU!**

 **A: As if I'd do such a thing! No, Nero, Tamamo, and Archer are all present in one form or another. As to whether they'll all survive to the end...well...**

 **As ever, reviews feed my engine of creation, so keep at it~!**

 **Really, sometimes it feels that the kind words-and critiques-of you fine folks on this site are all that keeps me going. That and its always nice to hear from people. Now more than ever, considering the state of...well, my life. I won't bore you with the details, you didn't come here for that. Now then...**

 **Get ready for a feels trip!**

 _"Tch, you're still alive? Just give up and die peacefully, would you? Picking on the weak...I really don't enjoy this sort of thing."_

 _"You're right. I really should give up. I'm not the smartest...the bravest...or even the strongest..._ _but...she begged me for help with tears in her eyes...what kind of person would I be if I turned my back on her now?"_

 _~a battle._

 **First Selection (Part I)**

 _"C'mon now, just how long are you going to sleep?"_

Prodded by the dulcet tones of that soothing voice, Hakuno's brown eyes reluctantly fluttered open to a white ceiling; no, not quite whitewashed she realized. Just...pale. What was she doing here? Had she fallen ill somehow? Taking her surroundings in at a glance, she almost despaired outright. Was it all a dream, then? Her heart gave an ugly wrench at the thought, unable to bear its weight. Those trials and tribulations, that battered effigy, the young man who'd so willingly given her his hand...

She didn't recognize this room; much less this bed.

...Rider?" she croaked out. "Are you there?"

Silence reigned supreme for a heartbeat.

And then, quite suddenly:

 _"Goodmorningmaster!"_

With all the subtlety of a hurricane a flare of golden crimson swung down out of nowhere. Quite suddenly, Hakuno found a warm forehead pressed against hers. Someone's nose brushed against her cheek, turning her pale visage a star shade of scarlet. Her body locked up, refusing to move despite her best efforts. And all the while that cheery, lopsided grin shone out at her. Sheathed in a strange shroud she didn't recognize, the young man shone like a second sun, his very presence filling the room-and her body-with untold warmth.

Crimson blue eyes blazed into brown.

"Hmm? You're awfully warm." a hand rose-or fell-to gently palm her face, those whiskered cheeks pinched in concern. "You running a fever or something?"

The tore it.

Close! Too close!

He was far, far too close!

With a strangled cry born of equal parts embarrassment and something she was _not going to speak of,_ Hakuno sprang forward. In hindsight, it might have been better to simply retreat. Alas in advancing, she unwittingly rang her brain like a bell against the immovable object that was Rider.

Rather, his forehead.

Ears ringing, skull throbbing, she crashed back into the bed with a soft moan and clutched at her now-aching temples. It felt like she'd struck a steel wall rather than flesh and bone; worse, for his part, her ally appeared utterly unfazed by her unintended attack.

"What are you made of?!"

Bemused laughter rang in her ears.

"Determination, stupidity, and sheer will. Take your pick."

It took her a full thirty seconds, and a fair bit of hissing, to realize that, no, her vision wasn't distorted. Rider was _genuinely standing on the ceiling_ and had only just now swung down to greet her. As she looked on he snapped off a smarmy salute but still made no move to dislodge himself from his unorthodox perch in blatant defiance of gravity. Through some strange art she didn't understand, his clothes remained fixed in place when they _should_ have flown all over the place-into his face at the very least!-about his body at the very least. His sole concession to gravity was that unruly golden mane of his, tumbling down around his ears.

"How're you doing that?" she managed, still clutching at the rising wet on her forehead.

"Doing what?" the blond offered an innocuous blink.

Something shifted in young Hakuno.

Perhaps it was the incredulity. Perhaps it was the shock of surviving a near-death experience, only to be thrust into another with nearly no memory of her identity. Perhaps she'd simply been bombarded with far too much in too little time and _she couldn't put up with it anymore._ Regardless, she was done. Completely, utterly done.

Still, she didn't have it in her to lash out.

"How are you doing that?" Righting herself with an effort, she turned an baffled look upon the blond. "Am I dreaming?"

Naruto tilted his head, considering.

"How am I doing what ?" the blond offered another innocent blink.

She jabbed at him with her finger.

 _"That."_

Confusion flitted across his visage. "Sorry Master, I don't follow you."

"You're walking on the ceiling!" A rare note of exasperation threaded itself into her words.

"Oh, this! Chakra, of course." the young man replied as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "How else?"

As quickly as that brief spark of anger had ignited in her breast, so too did it abate; she simply didn't have in her her to be angry with him any longer. No more than that after all she'd been through she wanted nothing more than to simply lie down and go back to sleep. Unfortunately, that was no longer an option. Her body vibrated with tension, every cell united in the singular desire to understand her situation-and her erstwhile ally-unfolding before her.

Slumping against the pillows, the unwilling magus palmed her face.

"Please...just come down from there, already." she said.

"Right, then!"

In a single liquid movement he dropped from the ceiling and vaulted to the floor to land in a pointed crouch before her. That strange glow lasted a moment longer before abating as he rose, leaving her to ponder if she'd merely imagined it...no, even now that soft ethereal glow warmed her bones with reassurance. She half-expected him to burst out into another dialogue of sorts, but no, he did nothing of the sort. Rather than explode into activity as he'd done before, the young man waited patiently at the foot of her bed.

"I really _am_ sorry about that." he beamed at last. "Didn't mean to spook ya. Its just, you were out for a while, so I had to find ways to amuse myself in the meantime."

A cold snake of dread slithered into Hakuno's stomach.

"Wait," she frowned, "How long have I been here?"

Rider tapped a finger against his head.

"I dunno...three days? Maybe more?" the blond answered. "Really, I was beginning to think you'd never recover."

Hakuno nearly choked on her spit.

"Three...days...?!"

The room reeled around her when she tried to stand; she would've toppled backward were it not for her Servant's steadying hand. Even then she nearly folded around the limb altogether, clinging to it in an furtive attempt to keep herself from fumbling to the floor in an ungraceful heap. Black spots swam before her vision, an undercurrent of fresh weakness threatening to drag her under again. Arms like iron encircled her waist, gently yet firmly ushering her back to bed as though she were made of fine china.

"Easy there. You haven't recovered your strength yet."

To her surprise, Rider stood fast.

"Don't worry," he preened, thumping a fist against his chest. "I didn't leave your side the entire time; your virtue's perfectly intact. Well." and here that smile took on the faintest hint of a tease, "For the most part. While I did respect your modesty, I had to tending your wounds, so...

Brown eyes bulged.

Those lighthearted words made Hakuno sputter anew in more ways than one; once more her pale visage turned scarlet, but this time she all but _glowed_ by comparison. Die. She wanted to die, die, die, _die a thousand times!_ Without thinking she seized the white blankets of her bed and dove beneath them for shelter. Ah, but the damage was already done; even now she could all but _feel_ the steam spouting from her ears. No. That settled it. She was never leaving this bed. Never again. She would die here, and be forgotten. Anything would be a preferable alternative to facing the world after this!

"A-A-Are you always going to be like this, Rider?!"

Gentle laughter answered her, muffled by the thin sheets.

"There's no need to hide from me you know, Master. I was only teasing. I didn't see anything. Scout's honor." to her dismay a hand pried her fingers away and peeled back the blankets, exposing them though she tried-and failed-to tuck them back to her chin. "Geez you can be a timid little thing sometimes...

Hakuno smashed her head against the nearest wall she could find. Once. Twice. Thrice. Maybe if she hit it hard enough she wouldn't wake up again. At this rate, he was going to drive her mad! She didn't know if he was teasing her without intending or if he'd willfully done this to bother her. Bastard. He was probably doing it on purpose!

...I hate to change the subject Master, but do you know what a Holy Grail War is?" Rider's sudden inquiry jerked her back to reality.

"Holy...Grail?"

"That _is_ the reason I'm here, you know." his mouth twitched.

Try as she might, Hakuno could only shake her head in mute response.

To be fair, Rider took her confusion well. "Alright then, I'll give you a crash course based on what I've learned."

Rider proved as good as his word; he explained it to her in no uncertain terms what she would be facing; why he'd answered her call on the verge of death, the brand upon her hand, the many battles to come and the wish that awaited the winner at the end of it all. To lose was to die, to be wiped from existence as surely as life itself. With each passing moment Hakuno felt her heart sink further into despair. She didn't want to die. That was only to be expected of course; every living being wants to continue their existence. But to kill others simply to prolong her own...

"Not feeling too good about it, huh?"

Perhaps sensing her own disquiet, Naruto turned his gaze back to her.

Taking up a watchful position beside her, he propped his back against the wall, the better to keep her within arms reach should the unthinkable occur.

"To be honest, I'm not keen on the idea of killing myself." he admitted sheepishly, pausing to scratch at the back of his head as he gazed down at her. "But these people signed up for it. For the most part, they knew what they were getting into from the get-go. Only an idiot like that Shinji brat would think otherwise. Thankfully he's woefully incompetent. Lucky you~!"

Now it was Hakuno's turn to recoil.

"Shinji?" He was here?

"Your first opponent, little chick." the whiskered warrior elucidated, reaching down to muss her hair affectionately. "As I said earlier, I did not leave this room while you slept, but I was able to put out a few feelers despite that. Unfortunately, that's the extent of the information I was able to gather from here. Haven't seen his Servant yet, but I've seen more than enough of _him."_

"How?"

Whiskered cheeks dimpled in a smile. "That'd be a secret. Now, then! As I'm sure you already know, I-we-belong to the Rider class." he sketched a faux-gallant bow while somehow managing to remain upright. "I may not be able to use my Noble Phantasm at the moment, but Kurama and I still have a few tricks up our sleeves."

An irritated growl rose from within his upper coat pocket.

 **... _my_ tricks, you mean."**

Naruto dimpled again.

"Aw, still upset about the summoning?"

 **"Of course I am!"** a familiar voice chimed.

Sure enough, Kurama's sullen, fuzzy little head emerged from said pocket a heartbeat later to make his express displeasure known. Once more Hakuno felt the unseemly urge to pet the little creature-she even caught herself reaching out toward him. Baleful red eyes regarded her dolefully, but this time made no effort to flee. Rather, he quietly clamored out of Naruto's pocket and once more claimed his now-customary perch upon the blond's shoulder.

Perhaps he was simply tired of evading her affections. It was difficult to believe that something so small could be so deadly, but after witnessing Naruto's skills in battle she could only assume that the diminished _kitsune_ possessed the same faculties.

 **"You may pet me just this once, mortal."** He preened, peering at her. **"I shall allow it."**

Thus, it came as something of a surprise when he allowed her to touch him, rather than nip at her fingers.

Hakuno didn't need to be told twice.

Carefully-almost furtively-the fledgling master sat up in bed and silently strained a slim arm towards the small fox. For his part, Naruto crouched down, allowing her to reach him without placing undue strain on her already weak body. Rider looked as though he wanted to say something-very badly!-but held his tongue when she began to stroke his partner's dark crimson coat, even as she gradually worked up the courage to dare and scratch behind his ears. Hmm. Warmer than she'd expected. Rather than the coarse fur she'd thought to find there, this was almost...

...soft."

Kurama made a noise that was dangerously close to a purr. Try as he might to resist her ministrations, his ears still twitched and his tails writhed pleasantly.

 **"Hrrmph."** the once-mighty biju huffed. **"At least you acknowledge the fineness of my fur!"**

Naruto sighed. "Just don't go firing off a _Bijudama_ at her, we can't afford to waste those...

Presently, both man and fox realized their Master had yet to respond.

...do you even know what a Noble Phantasm is?"

Hakuno shook her head. "Should I...?"

The duo groaned aloud together.

 **"You're so green...**

"Look, a Noble Phantasm is a Servant's trump card." Naruto offered with some embarrassment. "Think of it as...a sure-kill move. I've got a few of them but unfortunately most are sealed at the moment, or limited in some scope."

Shame colored the young Master's cheeks but she stubbornly battled it back and-reluctantly!-took her hand from Kurama's head. She couldn't keep going like this. If what Rider had said thus far held true then no doubt he also held certain expectations of her. She didn't want to let him down Thus she forced herself to meet that stoic gaze and take the initiative in their relationship.

"Earlier you mentioned you were a Rider. What does that entail?"

A flicker of surprised prided flitted through his gaze."

"In a sense, I can be summoned as Lancer or Saber, its just pertains to my legend. For instance!" The blond raised a finger in elucidation. "If I knew how to use my mom's chakra chains, then I _could_ technically qualify as a Lancer. Additionally, if I hadn't lost a certain sword _that_ _we will not speak of_ way back when, I could be summoned as the Saber class. Just be glad you didn't summon me as Berserker. You wouldn't be able to handle it, no," he grimaced, "Actually, I think it'd kill you outright."

"So...you're saying you'd rather be a Saber?" Hakuno posited, touching a finger to her chin.

"Not really." in response her Servant offered a wan shrug. "Rider, Caster, or Archer suit me best in theory, I'm just not at my max right now. Neither is Kurama. You can see that, right?"

See? What did he mean by that? "What are you talking about?"

 **"Do we have to teach her everything?"**

"Quiet, fuzzball. In short, almost all my stats, bar agility, are at an E-rank right now." once more the whiskered warrior was there with an explanation. "I hate to be the bad guy here, but that's partially your fault. Still, that's nothing we can't fix with a bit of polish on your part or training on mine. You're very much a small fish in a big pond right now; thankfully everyone assumes the opposite."

He paused for a fleeting moment, allowing the words to sink in.

"Really?"

"Very much so." Rider declared, bobbing his head in agreement. "If it weren't for their own caution, we'd be in serious trouble. As it stands, I'm confident in my speed if not my limited reserves; so if worst should come to worst I can blitz our enemies in a fight. In the meantime...I'll just have to train again, I suppose. That's neither here nor there at the moment, however...

Without warning, he pounced.

Hakuno yelped and bucked against him, to no avail.

"Hey!" she cried out! "Rider, what're you doing?! _Stoppit!"_

"What matters _now_ is that _you_ rest!" Strong hands seized the sheets around her flailing form and tucked them firmly against her writhing body. "Just leave the next few days to me while you recover. I wouldn't be a very good Servant if I made you run around in your condition."

"I feel fine!"

"Oho?" a blond brow rose in challenge. "Is that so?"

Just as swiftly as he'd begun binding her, Naruto ceased.

Vaulting off the bed, he tore the sheets free and stalked to the end of the room.

A tan hand stretched out for her, fingers crooking towards her position in a come-hither gesture.

"Alright then, Master. Here's your chance to prove me wrong. You want to leave this room? Stand up and walk over here. Right now."

Kurama offered a reluctant growl.

 **"Don't you think you're being a little hard on-**

"Quiet, you." Naruto clicked his tongue. "This is an important lesson for our little chick. Don't interfere."

The young master met that warm gaze and saw not anger, but expectant pride as he blockaded the door with his body. He awaited her decision, she realized. Be it acceptance or denial, he was resolved to see this through to the end. _Why?_ Why be so stubborn about this? It didn't make any sense unless _-wait._

He'd called it a lesson, just now.

So that's how it was.

This was a test.

Hakuno grit her teeth and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, willing her trembling limbs to obey her commands. After being bedridden for so long her limbs nearly collapsed outright under her weight; only through sheer effort did she manage right herself in time and stand. Awkwardly perhaps, clinging to the wall like a puppet severed from its strings, but she stood nonetheless. Fists balled at her sides, she fixed him with a cross look and silently dared him to object to her newfound resolve.

Blue eyes widened in slight, pleasant surprise.

"Yes, that's the way." He crooned, beckoning anew. "Now...come here. You can do it."

Despite the pain, in spite of her exhaustion, Hakuno Kishinami took that first fateful step forward. Then another.

 _Another._

Another still.

Yet another followed.

With each faltering step her confidence grew; so too, did Rider's smile. She wanted to prove him wrong. More than anything. She wanted-needed!-to show her strength here. Prove not only herself, but remind Rider of one very important fact; shy though she may well be, he couldn't order her around on a whim and get away with it. Of course, she could simply use a Command Spell to force him to step aside, or take her away from here. As he'd explained to her she could force him to obey her twice, at the very least. Three, if she was willing to risk oblivion. But doing so now would only reveal her weakness.

This must be done alone.

On her own strength.

Nothing else.

Rider loomed before her now, larger than life, his smile radiant. Kurama's expression proved more pensive by comparison, the little fox watching her unsteady steps with wary eyes. Still, her gaze remained locked onto the Servant's outstretched hand with frightful intensity. She'd prove him wrong. If for no other reason than because _she_ _wanted to._ Whether he thought her weak or not, naive or not, she needed to prove this to herself as much as him. On some level she knew she was being tested, but she couldn't tell if he was doing this to torment her or help her in some fashion. Likely the latter.

Rider didn't seem the sort to be willfully cruel.

The moment she drew within striking distance she lashed out and latched onto his wrist with her right _palm_ and squeezed. Such strength likely meant little when faced with a Servant, but her resolve shone through all the same.

Naruto chuckled.

"Congratulations. That's quite a grip."

 _'I did it!'_ she exulted, her concentration slipping. _'I actually-_

Hakuno's vision chose that moment to swim dangerously and her limbs betrayed her. Yelping, she clawed at the nearest surface she could find, seizing upon her Servant's thick coat for balance. Weakness saw its opportunity and pounced, a wave of nausea sending the room tilting around her as though she were adrift in a storm-tossed sea. In the end it was all she could do just to hold on for a moment more. To her credit, she'd actually made it to him before her legs had finally folded beneath her like wet cardboard.

Through bleary eyes she watched herself pitch forward.

 _'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all..._

Rider was there in an instant.

"Well done." his breath warmed her ear, sending a pleasant shiver shooting down her spine. "Rest, now. You've earned it. We'll talk more once you've recovered."

Belatedly Hakuno realized she was being carried; even then she wasn't wholly aware of her Servant's presence until he'd laid her back in the bed. Try as she might, she no longer had the strength to resist when she was tucked back in for a second time.

Exhaustion wasn't something so easily overcome, especially after suffering a near-death experience. Least of all when one was trying to support a Servant in the face of such adversity. Silently, the young magus cursed herself for what she viewed as her own insipid weakness. Hot tears welled up in her eyes but she refused to shed them. She'd failed. It proved a bitter pill to swallow and only threw salt the wound of her shame.

 _'Damnit..._

In the end, despite the fevered contradiction boiling deep within Hakuno, a tiny, quiet sob escaped her lips.

Rider must've heard her somehow; because he paused, lingering at the door's threshold.

A lone blue eye peered at her over his shoulder, framing a small, sad smile.

"Do you know WHY I answered when you called, Master?"

She struggled to lift her head.

"No, why?" she asked.

He didn't answer.

"Kurama."

At the mention of his name, Rider's snarky ally abandoned his shoulder and scampered away through the half-open door.

The faintest flicker of light was her only warning; then quite suddenly the bed creaked as Naruto landed beside her. A bandaged hand descended upon her head, not to attack, but to comfort. Strong fingers patted at her head, suffusing her scalp with warmth. Pearly white teeth flashed out at her in a smile pure as sunshine. That smile broke something in her and she sniffled softly. Somehow his pity hurt more than the anger she'd expected. At least she'd know how to respond to that, but this...this...!

"There, there." his free hand shifted, massaging the small of her back. "There's nothing wrong with a few tears. They make us human. Take as long as you need."

"I don't understand you!" the words exploded out of her before she could think to take them back. "Wouldn't you be better off with another Master?! Why're you being so nice to me?!"

"Simple." His head tilted, regarding with a hint of nostalgia. _"We're alike."_

Hakuno jolted. "How do you know?!"

"Because I've been where you are now." those whiskered cheeks pinched in mild reassurance. _"Oh, I've been there."_ that soft smile turned sardonic indeed, almost bitter toward himself. "I've stood in the very same shoes and overcome it. If anything, I was even worse off in the beginning. I had nothing. No one. Trust me when I say I know what you're going through. You feel weak, don't you? Powerless. Like nothing you do can ever, _ever_ matter.

 _But that's what where you're wrong!"_

In a flash he spun away from her and smashed a clenched fist against the nearest wall. It crumpled like a tin can, folding around those taut knuckles. Those blazing blue eyes never left hers. "It makes you strong. Only the weak can truly know what it means to hunger for victory. Yes, it hurts now. Yes, you're afraid and you're going to _be_ afraid. There will be many battles to come, and each opponent will be stronger than the last. However!"

Without warning, his forehead slammed against hers.

"Endure it, Master!" he roared! "Rise above that fear! Do you want to die?!"

Faced with such intensity, Hakuno could only shrink back.

"W-What?!" she sputtered, utterly horrified. "No!"

Rider didn't relent; no, not in the least.

"Then do you want my help?!"

"That's...you can't just...

"Do you. Want me. To help you." Rider repeated the words emphatically, a rare touch of anger-righteous fury against the forces that had brought her self esteem crashing down-coloring his normally placid visage. "If so, then say it." Those azure orbs narrowed to hooded slits. "You already told me you wanted to live when you summoned me. But that's not enough! Now, once more! Tell me what _you_ _want_ _,_ Master. To survive? To die? To escape? Say it!"

"I-

"SAY IT!"

Fresh tears welled up in her eyes.

For someone so tentatively skittish toward others-indeed, one with nearly no memory of her very self-the notion of accepting help from a stranger should have been an alien one. Hakuno knew next-to-nothing of herself, let alone Rider or the Holy Grail War they now found themselves in. Spirits, even if by some miracle they actually survived until the end, she didn't even know what to _wish_ for. Yet even so...yes, she wanted to live. She wanted to exist. To continue, if not as she was, then as a better person. To survive. To recover her memories. To remember who she was.

If the Servant-no, this person before her-could help her with that then her pride meant nothing. No, less than nothing!

Bowing her head, she dared to speak the earnest wish hiding in her heart.

...me." one had to strain to hear the words.

Naruto shook his head in response.

"I can't hear you, Hakuno!"

"HELP ME!"

With a sharp cry her hands shot up, seizing him by the sleeves. Naruto made no effort to escape; indeed, he _allowed_ her to grab hold of him, to pull him closer. Large brown eyes peered up at him, overflowing with thick tears. A flicker of surprise danced through his gaze, but still, her Servant held fast in the face of her newfound resolve.

"Please, Rider." when next she spoke the young brunette was alarmed to find she couldn't hold back anymore; the words came tumbling out of her. "Help me. Fight for me. I want to survive. I want to make it to the end. I don't know how, I don't know why, but _please, I don't want to die...!"_

At first, her Servant didn't respond.

Then, slowly, that smile bloomed once more.

"There's the resolve I wanted to see! Well said!" Just like that, the fury fled from his eyes, replaced by placid calm once more. Again Hakuno found herself jolted, this time by embarrassment as those hands closed around her own. "So you haven't recovered yet? No big deal. You will. And once you do...

Blue eyes gleamed red.

 _ **...we're gonna tear shit up."**_

Why did she feel as though she'd just unleashed a beast?"

She was baffled even further by what her strange Servant did next.

"Well, you've really got me fired up now! Here, I think you deserve this for spilling your heart and soul, Master!"

Rather than explain his intentions, Rider reached behind his head. Strong fingers unbound the headband there, effortlessly untying the worn black cloth. As she looked on he did the unthinkable and gave it to her; binding it securely around her forehead as surely as if it were her own. Baffled, she reached up, her pale palms gracing the worn metal plate in confusion.

"But why...?"

Naruto leaned back, surveying his handiwork.

"Hmm." he grinned. "It suits you. Now Just to be safe, I'll leave a clone behind. Holler if you need me. Sweet dreams~!"

Before she could ask what he meant by that, the bond crossed his fingers and barked a strange command she didn't understand. Almost immediately a plume of smoke enveloped them the latter of which caused her to cough sharply. What fresh hell was this? Was he trying to poison her or something? Moreover, what had he said about a clooo _oooooooohthatfeltrathernice..._

Two fingers flew through said smoke to touch her neck, and then she knew only the blessed release of slumber.

Leaving Hakuno with that less-than-silent sentinel, Naruto snapped off a smarmy salute and sauntered out the door into the hall beyond. It would be easy to simply vanish back into the _aether_ and conserve energy, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. The idea of having a body again, even one as...limited as this, was far too appealing.

Besides, he was looking forward to his first real survey of their surroundings...

...and the Servants they hosted.

 _'C'mon now...any takers?'_

Theoretically it should've been easy to pick a fight; though more than a hundred Masters temporarily called this "place" home, that number would be whittled down in the coming days. Everyone knew it. Those he passed bristled at his presence, others turning to flee outright rather than face him. Yet none dared to answer his presence with their own. The air was charged with prana, a telltale sign his fellow heroes were out about. More than a few Masters spared him an odd glance as he prowled the halls...

Alas, none saw fit to take up the gauntlet he'd thrown down.

One couldn't truly call this a "school" in a traditional sense of the word, but it served the purpose of a broken facsimile. Hosting three floors and a rooftop, it served as a preparatory area of sorts. From what little info he'd managed to gather through judicious use of clones and Kurama he understood the basics. Unlike the collosiuem which required two "triggers" the arena wasn't precisely barred to him without Hakuno, but he wasn't willing to simply wade in without assessing his bearings in at least some measure, Kurama or not.

Sure enough, his old friend awaited him near a corner as he departed, nimbly reclaiming his prior perch with languid ease.

 **"You gave her your headband?"** the fox scoffed in his ear. **"How unlike you. If I didn't know better I'd say you were going soft."**

"Maybe." the blond shrugged. "Felt good to inspire her. Now she won't lose her way."

 **"You're being awfully mature about this."** Kurama rumbled. **"I'm surprised at you."**

"Probably has something to do with the Grail." Naruto hummed, pausing on the stairwell to consider their next move. "That or dying. Now, what to do first...

 **"Perhaps we should deal with out tail, first?"** his old ally chuckled softly.

A flicker of navy blue in his peripherals demanded their attention.

Naruto turned quickly, but not quickly enough.

"Aha!" he crowed. "Found you!"

"Oh dear~!"

Azure eyes glimpsed a young woman clad in a blue kimono peering around the corner on the first floor. Were those...fox ears? Peeking out of those pink tresses? And a tail? Surely that was impossible. As he looked on, the latter actually moved, swaying happily. The fainest smile blossomed upon her features as he started forward, to no avail. Whomever they were he didn't have the chance to truly glimpse their face before they blew him a kiss and fled; indeed they were already long gone by the time he bounded down the stairs; vanished into the aether even as his feet touched the floor.

"Tch." he swore softly. "Got away."

"Hmm?" a rich, regal voice inquired behind him. "Are you chasing someone?"

For a fleeting instant he beheld startling green eyes gazing back at him within a round face framed by flaxen golden hair. Her lithe, athletic body ensconced in crimson garb, a flowing scarlet dress the like of which he had never see, and one that left little to the imagination at that. The curved crimson weapon at her waist could only be called a sword. Conclusion: this Servant must be Saber. Her blade spoke volumes for her, if not her smile, then that faint air of debauched madness radiating from her.

"I haven't seen you before." something about her charisma sent a pleasant chill through him.

She cocked her head quizzically, regarding him as one might an exquisite dish to be devoured. Such a look might've concerned him, if, well...

...if she weren't so maddeningly short.

"You must be Saber."

"Umu!" his fellow blond beamed up at him, planting both hands upon her thin waist. "I am indeed! And who might you be?"

Kurama snorted.

 **"Don't answer that, brat."**

"What's this?!" Saber nearly jumped. "You speak?!"

The diminutive _kitsune_ bristled menacingly. **"I can do more than that!"**

"So cute~!"

"What're you, gah! Unhand me!"

In hindsight, Naruto realized, he really shouldn't have told her anything. Rather, it would've been wise to simply turn around and walk away, no matter how rude doing so might seem. But he did. No-he couldn't. He found himself unable to hold his tongue in her presence. There was something innately disarming about the little blonde; an outright honesty that, while perhaps not entirely sane, promised sincerity at the very least.

...I'm of the Rider class, if you must know."

Kurama absolutely hissed.

 **"BOY!"**

"Ha!" His would-be-opponent laughed. "How bold of you to tell me your class outright!"

"Felt it was only fair since I guessed yours." he shrugged.

 _"Well said!_ I like that boldness-

The Red Saber stopped short with such force that she all but bit her tongue, her teeth physically clicking together as the words inexplicably stalled in her throat. She looked as though she wanted to say more to that effect but something stopped her short. Rather, it looked as though something-someone?-physically prevented her from speaking further. Saber struggled against it a moment more before relenting, shoulders drooping beneath her beautiful gown in dejected defeat.

"Forgive me," a rare look of sour displeasure flitted across her face, curdling there like spoiled milk. "My Master is calling for me. I must be going. Perhaps we can continue this another time?"

There it was again, that maddening honesty, that simple, earnest desire. He couldn't help but be drawn to it, like a moth to a flame. In the end, he could only nod.

Once more that confident grin blazed back at him; then she was gone, humming softly beneath her breath as she sashayed past.

As he looked on a slender sleeve rose, waving.

"May we meet on the battlefield, Rider!"

Kurama immediately whacked him.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

 **"I hope you're not planning to pick a fight here."** the little fox warned as they watched her leave. **"Battles aren't allowed on campus. You'd need to lure someone into the Arena if you want any chance of taking them out and even then, the S.E.R.A.P.H. might still intervene. You DO remember that, right? We were summoned with that knowledge."**

A deafening silence followed.

Naruto palmed his face.

...I forgot!"

 **"Nevermind.** " Sharp teeth nipped his ear in exasperation. **"I retract my earlier statement."**

"What?! You can't expect me to remember every little thing! This isn't even our real body!"

Grousing softly, the blond spun and stalked off in the opposite direction.

On one hand he was grateful to be "alive" again, even if it was in a diminished capacity. Death had a funny way of twisting things around afterwards; memories best left on the Throne still lingered with him, but they were a lifetime ago. Regardless, the Grail had provided the information he'd needed; alongside a few obscure references that baffled him, so he counted himself grateful. After all, he was no stranger to war. He'd fought in more than his fair share of battles before his untimely end, and the Fourth Shinobi War had been perhaps the largest of them. Compared to that...

...he couldn't really consider this war.

Sure there were combatants to be true, but under the Moon Cell system combat was heavily restricted. Too orderly. There _were_ ways to circumvent such a system-their always were-of course, but anyone who attempted a cheap trick and was caught would suffer a penalty. Really, it was almost a shame. The idea of honor in battle was something to be admired of course, but not entirely practical. Little did he know that he shared this mindset with a certain Archer.

 **"Where are you even going?!"** Kurama groused. **"The arena's not this way."**

"Don't wanna go there, runt." Naruto retorted, watching his "pet" prickle at his verbal jab. "Need to do some research. Library seems as good a place to start as any."

 **...dear gods! You actually want to read?! What have you done with the real Naruto?!"  
**

"Hey!"

As the two continued to bicker, however, a new voice drew their attention.

"Ahoy there!"

 _'Oh, what is it now..._

Turning to face this new challenger, he couldn't help arch an eyebrow.

Bearing a scar upon her face with stoic pride, she was the very picture of a diamond in the rough.

She was in a word, a pirate. No, that word alone wasn't enough to do the newcomer justice. _She was a pirate among pirates._

Long wavy crimson-pink hair framed a round face from which blue eyes shone, her beauty only enhanced by the ragged scar running across it. Her clothing was flamboyant in every sense of the word; she wore a brown choker collar almost attached to her dark pink captain vest in such a way that revealed her ample breasts, white pants, and long dark brown boots. An air of strange confidence radiated from her, a proud charisma that knew no bounds, be it land or sea or sky. Now that confident gaze was fixed firmly upon them.

Naruto swooned.

"Shiver me timbers I think I'm in love!"

 **"God you are so corny...**

"I've seen that fox of yours skulking about." her voice held him as she approached. "So he's yours, is he?" she hummed. "Let me guess...Assassin?"

"Assassin?"

Fine.

He'd let that much slip.

"Rider, actually."

"Ho?" a gleam of interest flitted through that bewitching gaze. "Didn't expect you to reveal your class so readily."

...I've been doing that a lot today, haven't I?" Naruto grumbled. "So? What did you want with me?"

"Nothing much, really." she shot back. "Just wanted to size up the competition."

"Well aren't we a sassy one...

He got the sense that here was a kindred spirit; a comrade in arms. Someone who lived solely to _live,_ and didn't concern herself with the frivolities that came with it. He could respect that. Admire it even. He hadn't found that sort of courage until the final hours of his life.

Hmm.

He might be able to get along with this one.

"What the hell are you doing, Rider?!"

 _Aaaand_ there went that hope.

If Rider was a beautiful savage then her master could only be called savagely stupid.

Greasy blue hair framed piggish eyes and face that smiled far too often but was only made the uglier for it. His mud-brown uniform did little to enhance his admittedly slender physique, but it was his emotional state that was truly worse than dirt. One didn't need Sage Mode or divine chakra to sense the malaise miasma radiating from his head and shoulders. This man, was, in a word, scum. No matter the time, no matter the place, some things never changed.

"Tch. What kind of weak-ass servant is this? Why're you talking to him?"

"Sorry, Master. "Rather than dispute his argument he pirate offered a small shrug. "I was trying to pass the time."

"Ha!" the boy brayed like a donkey. "This guy?! He looks weak as shit! How could he possibly entertain you? What could he even do?!"

A lone muscle jumped in Naruto's jaw. Yes, some things never changed. Even in his first life he'd never been a fan of this behavior; bullies even less so. Shinji ranked even below that. This. _This_ would be Hakuno's first opponent, the first soul she would be forced to silence in her fight for survival. All told...he was not impressed. This runt reminded him of a certain man, someone who liked to shoot off their mouth with no regard for the feelings of others. And Hakuno didn't want to kill him. Poor little chick. She really was too pure for her own good. Impossibly, the blond's smile grew. Penalty be damned, maybe he should torment Shinji a little.

"Hey, Shinji." he began cheerily. "Have you met my friend?"

The blue-haired boy fixed him with a nervous glower.

"Ha? You got something to say, whiskers?!"

Drake audibly gulped.

"Ah, Shinji? Maybe-

"Kurama. **BITE."**

 _"WAAARGH!"_

 **A/N: Pain isn't fun.**

 **Pain of the heart, pain of the soul, pain in general. Reviews keep me writing, feedback even more so. Without them its hard to keep myself coming back; health woes and other issues aside, I've been around this site for more than a decade now, and it breaks my heart to see people leaving in droves. But me? I'm here to stay. Until I draw my last breath. Until my body is dust.**

 **So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **It really hurts when I bust my ass writing long chapters for you guys and gals only to get...well...nothing...**

 **...hope you enjoy the previews!**

 **Potential ones at any rate...**

 **(Previews)**

 _Tamamo twitched._

 _"Soooo fluffy~!"_

 _"I'll bite you."_

* * *

 **"UNHAND ME, WOMAN!"**

 _"Nay! I shall keep you!"_

 _"Nope!"_

* * *

 _"A truce?! On school grounds?! Are you kidding me?!" Naruto tore at his hair in a rare moment of exasperation. "Grah, this is ridiculous! Why don't they just let us fight the way we want?!"_

 _"I know right?!" Robin Hood seconded, flinging up his hands in exasperation. "If it weren't for my old geezer or your little chick of a master this would've been much easier!"_

 _"Exactly! What place does honor have on the battlefield, oi?!"_

 _"Precisely! Just let us fight to our hearts content, man!"_

 _Both men shared a startled look of realization._

 _"Did we just become best friends?"_

 _"Bah, why the hell not?!"_

 _Kurama groaned._

 ** _"Great..._**

* * *

 _"Hmmph! Useless, useless, useless! You can't touch me!"_

 _Hakuno took a long moment to sigh as her Servant bowled through a fresh wave of enemies._

 _...where do you even get these references from?"_

 _"What can I say? The Grail's thrown a lot of them at me."_

 _"Fine, just don't start spouting nonsense on me out of the blue-_

 _"MudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudaMUDA!_

 _"DO NOT!"_

* * *

 _"I demand a duel!"_

 _...I refuse."_

 _Nero sniffled._

 _"Hweh?! You can't refuse an Empress! I'll cry! Seriously, I'll cry!"_

* * *

 _"I used to be good at fixing things, you know? Now it seems I can only break them..._

 _"Rider..._

 _"Bah, don't worry about it Master."_

 **R &R~! =D**


	3. First Selection (Part II)

**A/N: ANOTHER UPDATE IN LESS THAN A MONTH?! GASP!**

 **LOTS OF CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER. OVER THIRTEEN THOUSAND WORDS WORTH OF INSANITY!**

 **Loads of humor, too.**

 **Hope you like i it.** **Well! In other news, the Patriots won the Superbowl. Whoo.**

 **Also.**

 **My newest story pretty much bombed.**

 **I mean, An Endless Journey was essentially a dumping ground for my all Fate ideas henceforth, but OUCH...**

 **Feelsbadman...T_T**

 **Ignoring those little hiccups, here we are at long last. The next, long awaited chapter of A Most Unlikely Rider. Despite the trials and tribulations in my life, this was a joy to write, its just got so much personality. Had a blast writing it, even wracked with pain as I am...**

 **...but structuring everything was a right BITCH to do!**

 **So! Fair warning. We've got a bit of everything in this one; character building, romance, humor, combat, and even a bit of multiverse theory! Hope you brought a drink and something to munch on; because this chapter's a right and proper doozy.**

 **DISCLAIMER!**

 **I!**

 **OWN!**

 **NOTHING!**

 **Now onto your questions!**

 **Q: What's the combat system here?! I must know!**

 **A: Pretty sure I've already been over this, but alright: in short, its basically a free-for-all. Servant battles outside of the arena can only last for three minutes-note the similarity to three turns as held by the game-before S.E.R.A.P.H. intervenes and forces both parties to disengage. Furthermore the rule for combatants still applies. For example, this time around, Hakuno and Naruto can ONLY encounter Shinji and Drake in the labyrinth because THEY are their opponents for this round. Of course, that doesn't prevent mischief outside of the arena.**

 **This may change as the rounds drag on.**

 **Hope this helps explain things~!**

 **Q: How much time will be spent on each Selection. Also! More fluff please!**

 **A: Generally, I'm going to try and divide each "Round" into two halves. Three at the most. Also, plenty of fluff in this chapter, so this ought to warm you up.**

 **Q: Hey, is each "Servant" Naruto aware of one another? I mean you have Fate Grand Order as a premise to work off of, so why not?**

 **A: Its...complicated. This chapter leads into an explanation there, of sorts.**

 **Q: Judging by the previews, I sense some hostility toward Rin. Why?**

 **A: Naruto isn't hostile at all. He simply doesn't put up with bullshit from anyone. Toss in some memories that may-or-may-not be his from an ongoing Grail War and he's left to wonder if he should trust her at all. Yes, I am fully aware that Extra!Rin and Fate!Rin are two entirely different entities, but**

 **Q: Why did Naruto toss out his class name so much?**

 **A: Because, for all his talk, he's a good person. He's honest too...sometimes to his detriment.**

 **Q: What's the spacing for the story going to be here?**

 **A: Again, traditionally, I'm going to make each Selection (Round) Two chapters. But that may change.**

 **Q: Well. Naruto certainly made a splash didn't he?**

 **A: Considering this is PURE Naruto with almost no alteration to his legend? Yeah, that's definitely something he'd do. Our boy's always been a bit of a prankster; that aside he genuinely likes to help people. He's still a bit of a dolt when it comes to romance, though not NEARLY as thick as he was when alive.**

 **Bullies like Shinji on the other hand...**

 **...well, he might change his tune once he realizes Extra!Shinji isn't as old as he appears.**

 **Q: And now our little chick's gotten bolder! Y'know, the headband bit almost reminded me of a scene in One Piece with Nami and Luffy. Was that intentional? I know references are your bread and butter so I thought I'd ask...**

 **A: One Piece did give me some inspiration in that regard, yes.**

 **Q: What are the EXACT pairings?**

 **A: *zips lips* You'll just have to read on and find out now, won't you?**

 **Q: ...people are going to die, aren't they.**

 **A: Naruto and Hakuno aren't omnipotent. They can't save everyone; nor can they always spare their opponents. S.E.R.A.P.H. literally won't let them unless they find a workaround. Of course, many of us know just what said workaround is now...don't we? But not all can be saved...**

 **Q: DEATH TO THOSE WHO MAKE THE UMU CRY!**

 **A: Naruto and Nero are...well, alike in a sense. You'll see what I mean.**

 **Q: Seems Naruto's found himself an apprentice.**

 **A: Of a sort, yes. He and Hakuno may well end up together. Or not. Only time will tell.**

 **Q: Its nice to see Fate Extra and its games getting some love. Speaking of which, what are you going to do about the combat? Will it be turn based?**

 **A: Bollocks to that! No turn-based fights here! That'd be nigh impossible to write. Long live the brawl!**

 **Q: Ohohohoho~! Do my eyes deceive me, or is Tamamo gunning for Naruto?**

 **A: If by "gunning" you mean she's intrigued/attracted, well...**

 **Q: More NarutoxDrake!**

 **A: They're not finished with each other yet...**

 **Q: Wait! Hakuno was out for three days?! She doesn't have much time then, does she?! If memory serves there's only five-Nope! Seven!-days per week in each round! She's already lost out on half the time!**

 **A: No, she does not.**

 **As ever, reviews feed my engine of creation, so keep at it~!**

 **Really, sometimes it feels that the kind words-and critiques-of you fine folks on this site are all that keeps me going. That and its always nice to hear from people. Now more than ever, considering the state of...well, my life. I won't bore you with the details, you didn't come here for that. Now then...**

 **Someone stole the show here, just couldn't help myself.**

 **Oh, and one last thing:**

 **TFS for the win.**

 _"I'm not a very good Master, am I?"_

 _"No, its that kind of doubt that makes you a good person."_

 _~?_

 **First Selection (Part II)**

 _...and that's what happened."_

Hakuno cocked her head aside as her Servant completed his tale, considering the strange story Rider had just finished weaving for her. As ever, her Servant's jovial smile never wavered in the face of adversity. No, if she had to give a name she'd say it only grew _broader_ beneath her incredulous stare. Though they had received-and were now safely ensconced within-their own personal room, she still wanted to shout her dismay until the very heavens above heard her. It was their own personal room after all. No one could hear them here. She understood that much. Accepted it, even.

She still flinched just thinking about it.

Yes, all things considered her Servant seemed inordinately pleased with himself for reasons she knew all too well; by all accounts, he'd committed a crime so heinous, a sin so terrible that not only had made him the talk of the school, but also the bane of Masters everywhere. Really, it was a miracle he hadn't been inflicted with a penalty outright. They had, however, been confined to the grounds for the remainder of the day. Rider didn't seem concerned in the least; no, he looked _proud_ of his accomplishment. Now she just had to figure out _why._

"So let me get this straight." The little brunette began slowly, choosing her words with delicate care. _"You,_ ordered _Kurama,_ to bite Shinji."

"Yeah-huh." Naruto's head bobbed in agreement. "Right in the balls. Won't be walking straight for the rest of the week."

Really, it made her want to crawl under a rock and _die._

Sadly, the room offered no such escape.

Little more than a small enclosure, it barely qualified as a room at all. Scarcely furnished beyond a sleeping bag and what appeared to be a small space-heater of sorts, it was sorely lacking in every respect of the word. If not for a lone window offering a small glimpse into the world beyond she would've found the room altogether oppressive, really...

...and then there was the room's main fixture.

Perched upon a crudely-crafted throne of broken chairs and other assorted items he'd absconded from who-knew-where, Rider beamed right back at her with all the pride of the sun. Kurama, in a rare moment of solidarity with his partner's insufferable snark, lay curled up at the blond's feet. Nestled in small bed of crimson-and just where was Naruto getting all these materials!?-his body comfortably curled in the warmth of his tails. Was he trying to be cute?! He may have been sound asleep for all she knew!

At the mention of their opponent, however, the little fox turned his head and spat.

 **"Speak for yourself, I _still_ can't get the taste out of my mouth...**

"Cmon, you know that was worth it." Naruto's smile was still a ray of sunshine despite the brightness of the room. "If we hadn't put a stop to his prattling back there, he would've done something annoying later. This way, he's likely to tuck his tail between his legs and lay low for awhile. His Servant seems alright, though. Wouldn't mind plundering her-

Hakuno audibly yelped and covered her face. _"Naruto!"_

"What?" the blond exclaimed, beaming beneath her scalding scrutiny. "I was talking about her _treasure!_ She's obviously a pirate, which means she must have a lot of booty to be had! What did you _think_ I meant?" Indeed, he didn't so much as bat an eyelash when he made that statement. Hakuno almost believed him...were it not for the slight twitch of his lips. Rider claimed to be many things in life, but he was clearly a prankster first, and a Servant second. _That_ part of his legend had come through loud and clear.

"I...you... _you did it again!"_ she squeaked through her hands.

"Nevermind then," came the indolent reply. "Forget I said anything."

...your generosity knows no bounds."

"What can I say?" those pearly whites flashed out at her again. "I'm a giver."

In that moment, the waning light caught his face and something stirred in her chest.

It felt like she'd glimpsed the ghost of a king just now; the ruler he'd been meant to be in life, yet never became; someone who would've watched over his people, had his life not been cut brutally short. This was not a clever king. Not a cruel king. Not a terribly smart one, either. But he was a _kind_ king nonetheless. One more than willing to lower himself to the level of others to understand them; someone who didn't consider himself to be above the rest merely because of the power he'd attained during his livig days. Almost like an older brother...no...more than that.

This was her Servant.

 _'Dear god I think I'm actually starting to-no!'_

Never let it be said Hakuno Kishinami was _that_ naive.

Painfully aware of her burning ears the young brunette averted her gaze. She'd been had. On some level she knew this; though whether Naruto's remark just now had been a feint, she knew not. Only that he was laughing and _she_ was the one blushing. Again. Honestly! It was said that when one drew a Servant, you pulled the closest to your personality. In this case? Nothing could be further from the truth. Naruto was brash and bold, when she was timid and weak. Full of life and light and _fire_ where she was little more than trembling embers.

Of course, Hakuno would never let him know that-

All at once, the lightest of weights settled upon her right shoulder, distracting the brunette from her internal monologue. With a start she realized Kurama had abandoned his comfortable nest to lay claim to _her_ as his new vantage point. Hmm, a small, distant part of her mused. Lighter than she'd expected. Still, what was he doing there...?

 **"Stop teasing the poor thing and start strategizing already, will you?"** the little kitsune yawned from his new perch. **"You're going to break her before we get to fight anyone."**

A blond brow rose. "Somebody's eager for combat."

 _ **"I will not be denied!"**_

Though Hakuno very much doubted the veracity of _that_ claim given the fox's size, there were more pressing issues on the little master's mind. A niggling, pressing doubt that had been bothering her for the better part of an hour now-no, ever since they'd first set foot in this room. One she now gave voice to:

"Still, I have to ask...

"C'mon, why the long face, Master? Ask me anything you like, really! Ask away!"

...why is the entire room orange?" After a moment, this was the inquiry she asked of him. "Its ugly."

Much to her surprise, Naruto tumbled off the chair with a startled squawk as though she'd actually **struck** him.

"Ack?! You wound me Master! Your words cut deep!" a hand rose, clutching at his heart. "I don't think I'll ever be whole again!"

 **"Oh, please!"** Funny, she hadn't known Kurama to be able to roll his eyes like that. **"The room would've been far better in crimson and you know it!"**

Naruto jolted upright. "Treachery!"

Despite her best efforts, the brunette felt her worries ebbing away as her allies squabbled. Had that been his intention all along? She almost wondered about that. No, no, that was impossible. Rider might be a kind soul, but strategy clearly was not his strong suit; he bulled through his obstacles through sheer force of will and strength alone; planning simply wasn't his strong suit. Not that he was _lacking_ intelligence or any such matter, but...well...sometimes she honestly wished he'd use his head rather than lead with his heart like some blond buffoon, even if he was handsome...

...hey." blue eyes narrowed upon her. "You were thinking something naughty just now, weren't you?"

 **"Why, I believe she was!"**

 _'I've been caught!'_

Faced with their united front, Hakuno dodged that question with a vigorous shake of the head. Deny! Deny deny deny! They couldn't prove anything! So long as she held her tongue, Rider couldn't possibly guess what she had been thinking. Surely he wasn't capable of reading minds. Right? Right?!

Rather than challenge her, her Servant offered a smile.

"No need to hide it. You'll need that kind of thinking in the war to come. You're just a little chick after all."

Her confusion must've shown, for Rider climbed back into his chair and happily elaborated.

"As in you're a novice. An amateur. You're surrounded by fighters who have seen more action in a week than your entire life. Magi who would kill you for so much as looking them. Many will. That's why you can't afford to play fair. You need to use every dirty trick you can. Take those flaws of yours and wield them as a weapon against your enemies. This is war after all, and though I may be a Rider, I'm still very much a ninja. Honor serves no purpose here." Something gleamed in his eyes then as a strange thought occurred to him. "Speaking of which...your Command Spells."

Hakuno froze.

"Don't use them."

"Wait, what?" she blinked furiously.

"I'm telling you not to use them." Rider repeated bluntly, his flat gaze shifting to her marked hand even as she grasped it. "It might be possible to swipe some from other Masters as we defeat them, but until we're certain, you shouldn't wield them recklessly. You can use two at best, remember? Exhausting all three in this war means certain death. Do you understand?" When her head bobbed in reluctant agreement, he granted her a look of indecipherable scrutiny. "Excellent! While we're on the topic of amateurs and hypothetical battles...what do you know about parallel universes?"

...considerably less than I should, given the circumstances." came the rejoinder. "Why?"

Rider favored her with a grim smile.

"Here's the thing, kiddo. _Multiverse theory's a bitch."_

Straightening, he steepled his fingers and laid his chin to rest upon them

"Fact is, me, or at least another _version_ of me contained within the Throne of Heroes, fought the Holy Grail War before. A lot of them are still fighting as we speak." he paused then, allowing the warped weight of his words to sink into the muddled mire of her thoughts. "Not "this" war of course, but a war nonetheless. Confused yet?" When her head bobbed, that small, insidious smile grew further still. "Good. You're learning. We'll be using those experiences to further your limited knowledge."

There it was, another clue for her to pick up and inspect, if she wished. She did. "Are you...saying you have multiple personalities?"

Kurama palmed his face. **"Now you've done. Don't say I didn't warn you."**

"You really didn't though...?"

"Not quite. Think bigger." Rider arms spread wide, as though to embrace the fading light itself. "Not multiple personalities, multiple _incarnations._ Different heroes by the name of "Naruto" who, by some means or measure, each reached the Throne of Heroes in their own way despite their differing pasts. Lots of Servants have them. Its part of what allows us to be summoned as so many different classes in the first place. Mine just happen to be more...numerous than most."

The silence proved telling.

"I wouldn't say that they belong to _me_ per se," Rider relented with a small frown, "Its more like I'm vaguely aware of them, and they, me. Some of them are surprisingly vivid, but otherwise unimportant. Useless snatches of information that "I" never experienced, events that happened to another "me" in another world all the same. Perhaps there's some time-bleed from so many of us existing at once? Who knows? For instance, I _know_ one version of myself eventually settled down, became hokage, and started a family. Even had a son. I could tell you all about him, his name, his face, how much of a brat he was, how he _**craved**_ my attention and eventually received it in spades. Turns out, it wasn't at all what he wanted."

A strange, almost pained expression flitted across the blond's face.

...but just because I remember him, that doesn't make him my son." in that moment a tiny, bitter chuckle burst out of her Rider. "Ha! Pathetic, isn't it? Servants shouldn't be able to remember, but _I_ do, even when I wish I wouldn't." a bandaged hand palmed his face, momentarily concealing those ice blue eyes from view. "Just look at me, Master, I'm a wraith grasping at memories that don't even belong to me. Really, I almost envy your amnesia sometimes. Those bastards aren't me, but at the end of the day most of them _won their fight."_

"What happened before, then?" Hakuno caught herself asking this. That brief flash of humanity had jabbed at something tender inside her; she knew what it was like to lack memories of oneself. From what he'd revealed to her just now, Rider didn't even have that luxury; his identity was torn and shredded, jumbled between lives he hadn't even lived, while his own was cut painfully short.

"Before you?" the blond blinked, taking his hand from his face. "I-we-dreamed, for the most part. Wasn't much else to do in the Throne."

Kurama harrumphed.

 **"That's putting it mildly."**

"What is?" she pressed the point home.

Naruto dimpled again. "Its quite the list I'm afraid."

"We have time." Hakuno shot back, crossing her legs before her. If Rider and Kurama were going to be difficult about this, then she'd stand her ground. After all, he'd told her the importance of asserting herself. Even if it was only one tiny step at a time, every bit helped. As she looked on, a wan smile bloomed on the former's visage.

"Oho!" Rider jolted upright, pleased by her response. "My Master has some steel in her after all!"

"Well...?" A beat of awkward silence pushed between the unlikely trio.

"Eh, its...strange." he confessed, offering a small, helpless shrug in recompense for her earlier temerity. "I've never met them face to face yet I know they exist. Some have yet to be "born" or, well, summoned in a sense. Others have been kicking around far longer than I care to admit. Like a certain _horned bastard_ who devoured a certain goddess rather than seal her away."

"Goddess...? Rider," Hakuno ventured cautiously, "Just what are you getting at?"

"Again, not me. I was very much _mortal_ when I died." Those eerie blue eyes took on a slightly nostalgic hue, as though he were experiencing a particularly vivid memory. "Sure enough, godhood went straight to "his" head and he's been wreaking havoc around the multiverse ever since." Honestly, I'm not quite sure how to explain it myself without breaking your pretty little head, but I'll try. To my knowledge, I'm aware of nine iterations, including myself and excluding that horned bastard who seems so keen on meddling in affairs he shouldn't."

Kurama harrumphed softly. **"If that isn't ironic, I don't know what is...**

"Hush, you!" Rider admonished with a click of the tongue. "The point I'm making here Master, is this: life can diverge along countless paths. Unlikely as they may seem, the smallest choice can create a chain reaction, one you might not be prepared for. Take me for instance. I'm one of them; you called and I came. The others...well. Perhaps it'd be best if I just tell you outright rather than beat around the bush, ya know? Best to know who you're working with, here. But to understand that, you'll need to understand me. So let's answer your question."

Leaning back, Hakuno watched as her Servant began to count off his fingers, relentlessly ticking down one by one:

"I dreamed of a Caster, who accidentally ignited a war within another war."

"I dreamed of a Berserker, someone utterly devoid of all inhibition."

"I dreamed of an Assassin, fighting against impossible odds."

"I dreamed of an Avenger, drowning in cold, black mud."

"I dreamed of an Archer, laughing at the world itself."

"I dreamed of a Ruler, slaved to their own dogma."

"I dreamed of a Saber, wielding a broken blade."

"I dreamed of a Lancer, wrapped in chains."

Abruptly, his head tilted to regard her.

 _...and I dreamed of you."_

Hakuno caught herself perking up at this, her fingers absently stroking Kurama's coat. "Me?"

"Well, in the moments before you summoned me to be precise." As she looked on Rider uncrossed his legs and laid his head to rest upon an upturned fist, regarding her cordially. "Its part of the reason I answered your call as quickly as I did, remember?" a small, sardonic smile plucked at his whiskered cheeks. "You see, for all my preaching and prattling, I'm really a selfish person at heart. Saber, Archer, hell, even Avenger. Any one of "us" could have answered your call, but I beat them all to it. I guess you could say...

Blue eyes crinkled in a strange, almost handsome expression.

...I wanted you all to myself." he purred.

Hakuno's frowning face went from placidly cool to alarmingly warm in an instant, her once pale skin snapping into scarlet shame as she covered her face. No! Stop! Bad girl! Bad! Down! Dooooown! He hadn't meant it like that! Dimly she became aware of his laughter-that she'd somehow cheered him up-but that did little to mollify her own steaming cheeks. Damn him and his teasing! In a tizzy she spun away from him, barely noticing the wildly incoherent babble bursting from her mouth.

 _"Whawhawhawhawhatareyousaying?!"_

 **"Nice one!"** Kurama crowed.

"T-T-T-Traitor!"

As such, she wasn't at all prepared when Kurama bounded from her shoulder to reclaim his customary perch upon Naruto's arm. There was a certain gleam to his eyes now...she hesitated to call it menacing, but it set her ill at ease all the same. Little did she know that she'd accidentally invigorated her Servant with her words; helped him find of a surety of purpose he'd been lacking. By rights, Hakuno knew she should've been happy. She had paid back her debt to him by lifting his spirits as he'd raised her own. So why...

"Right then, Master!" To her dismay, Naruto was already beginning to rise. "Time for training!"

 _...why_ did she have the worst feeling about this?

"Are you feeling up to it?" she hedged, almost wishing he wasn't.

The idea of combat was...frightening for Hakuno, to say the least. She still wasn't used to the idea of it; much less the notion of taking a life. Try as she might to resist, Hakuno was a gentle girl. She did not like to hurt. The idea of _hurting others_ terrified her, shook her to her very core. And yet if she did not, then she would die. This conflict clashed within her, two halves of the same coin, trying to tear her apart. Whatever her feelings toward Shinji, she would still have to cut him down if she wanted to survive. She would have to cut, cut, _cut_ and keep cutting, tearing everyone apart until only she and Rider remained until and _ohgodshewouldhavetokill..._

 **"Oi!"** Kurama's sharp, silken voice snapped through her ears. **"Kid's having a breakdown!"**

Rider looked at her as though she'd grown an extra head and sprouted gills. "Can't have that, can we?"

A golden streak of light shot out, pulling her to him. He pressed his forehead hers, blue eyes blazing red. The sight of them frightened her. As she looked on, he tilted his head against her own, regarding her curiously. For all her earlier courage, Hakuno flinched away. Naruto wasn't having any of it.

Firm hands took hold of her face.

"Hey. Look at me, Master."

She did.

"I have been shot, stabbed, impaled, and poisoned." He told her this simply, as though they were merely discussing the weather. "Would you believe I even had my heart manually restarted, once? I have suffered every pain imaginable, endured every indignity known to man, mental, physical, even spiritual." for the first time since she had met him, an undercurrent of _pride_ pushed through her Servant's voice. "At the end of it all, I only _died_ because I'd been actively fighting a war, a goddess, and my best friend. In that order. So in other words...!"

His hands rose then, not to cup her chin as she'd expected...

...but to give both her cheeks a hard, painful wrench.

"Have some confidence, for crying out loud!"

 _"I'm sowwwwwwwy!"_

 **"Good!"**

At all at once Rider released her, leaving the baffled brunette to stumble away and crash down on her fear. Moaning, she clutched at her throbbing face and shot him a dirty look as she furtively massaged her aching cheeks. It didn't _hurt_ as much as it did sting, yet for all his earlier outburst, Rider-and by definition Kurama-remained unfazed by her exasperation. Servant and Beast alike gazed back at her, neither showing so much as iota of emotion. No, not quite, she glimpsed the ghost of a laugh lingering on his lips.

"What was that for?!" she bemoaned him.

"To inspire confidence." That dazzling smile flashed out at her again, warm as any sunbeam. "Trust me when I say that nothing short of _lopping my head off_ is going to kill me in this war. Kurama? Ha!" he slapped his knee and laughed harshly. "Good luck! He won't die so long as I'm around. Got that?" having declared his intent he learned forward on his pseudo-throne, stooping down to her level. "We're going to make sure you win if its the last thing we do. Do you understand? We'll do all the fighting. You just give the orders. Do that headband of mine proud, eh?"

Unbidden, her fingers rose, idly tracing the thin metal plate even now still wrapped against her forehead.

Despite this, Hakuno still faltered.

"But we can't enter the arena right now...

Rider certainly _didn't;_ no, not at all, not in the least.

"True, we may be forbidden from entering the arena _momentarily,"_ Naruto preened back at her, "But that doesn't mean we _can't_ gather information while we're able. For starters!" a lone finger rose, poking her cheek gently. "We know that our enemy is a Rider, like me. Also, she's likely a pirate and I got a glimpse at her twin pistols. That's a fine place to start!"

Hakuno paused, consulting her terminal. "It is?"

The screen that awaited her there revealed nothing, naught but Shinji's name, much less his Servant in question.

"Oh for the love of...let me see that thing! Get over here!" exasperated, the young man flung up his hands and grabbed her by the waist. Hakuno squawked, but before she could think to offer further protest she found herself swung into his lap-or nearly so-landing well between his legs on the throne. Even as her mind struggled to process _that_ tidbit of information, he laid his chin upon her shoulder and reached across her body, idly pawing at the terminal in her hand. His fingers brushed the screen to create a faint glow; the terminal taking root in his memories, copying the precious information he'd acquired through touch.

Within moments Hakuno found herself staring at the striking likeness of a redhead bearing a jagged scar across her visage.

Here was a woman of unquestionable strength and will; someone who would not flinch in the face of danger; rather, one who embraced it. Her image alone held more backbone than Hakuno herself possessed. The thought was oddly humbling. Confidence. Yes, she needed to be more confident. Rider had sworn himself and Kurama to her service to be sure and she _was_ working to master her crippling lack of resolve, but her weaknesses were still many and her strengths yet few.

Slapping her still stinging cheeks, she shook the shadows away.

"Is this her?"

"Indeed." Naruto hummed into her neck. "Now you know what she looks like."

"So she's a Rider?" Hakuno dared to risk a furtive glance over her shoulder. "Like you?"

Kurama and Naruto shared a long, significant look-and a smirk!-that wasn't lost on the little brunette. But to what purpose?

"Oh, she'd _wipe the floor_ with us as we are now," the blond allowed after a moment of sustained silence, "But its cute that you think we're that much alike. I'm sure Shinji thinks the same. Twice the pride, double the fall, I suppose."

...why does that sound familiar, Rider?"

 **"Because, little chick, it describes our so-called-opponent to a T."** Kurama informed her primly. **"That runt doesn't stand a chance."**

His statement made no sense; none whatsoever, on the contrary it set Hakuno on edge in the worst way. For both of them to willingly admit that they were no match for Shinji's powerful Servant, yet in the same vein to claim that _he_ was the one who didn't stand a chance...it baffled her. She said as much.

"But you're both weaker than his Servant!" she cried! "You said so yourself! Why are you so relaxed?!"

"Ah! But that's where you are wrong, Master!" Naruto interjected, covering his mouth to hide a smile. "Strength isn't everything. Far from it! In the end, it comes down to...

...wait. Why was Kurama laughing?

It came as even more of a wrench when the little fox covered its snout with a paw and started snickering. Slitted eyes narrowed in thinly veiled amusement, its nine tails thrashing in scarcely concealed amusement; one its partner seemed to share judging by the silent shaking of his shoulders. Was she missing something here? Why were they laughing?

 **"She really thinks we're the same as that pirate wench! Ha! Oh, this is rich...**

Doubling over, Rider reluctantly straightened and wiped a lone, mirthful tear from the corner of his right eye.

"My dear," her Servant replied, his voice a low rumble that stirred her in all the wrong places, "There has _never_ been a Rider quite like Kurama and me. Our situation is...unique, to say the least. The closest equivalent to us would be our old friend Killer Bee, and we're not even sure what class that crazy bastard would fall under. But yes, she's definitely of the Rider equivalent. Shinji said so himself." at this his lips pursed in a thin frown of consternation. "That one is...well, he's an idiot, frankly. But!" A finger rose in elucidation. "His Servant _responded_ to that title when he called for her so! Bingo! Valuable information. Now we just need to capitalize on it."

In a burst of motion, he shooed her off his lap and burst to his feet. "To the library! Away~!"

Following her smirking Servant, Hakuno reluctantly sallied forth from their room.

"Up you go!"

 _At least, this had been the plan._ Her intention, really. But as with all things, her Servant surprised him. Instead she found herself scooped up in the blond's arms and swung up onto his broad back. Without thinking she seized his shoulders and hung on for dear life; it was only _after_ those warm hands rose to cup her legs and steady her-rather, after her began walking-that she realized what her Servant intended. Embarrassment flushed her body from head to toe, once more rendering Hakuno's pale visage a lovely shade of ruby rose red.

"Rider, _no!"_ to her shame, she caught herself whining and kicking against his back. "Stop! I'm not a child! Put me down! Right now! I mean it!"

Naruto didn't miss a single step; indeed he paused just long enough to swing the door open and step out into the hall beyond.

"Are you able to walk by yourself yet?" he inquired.

Her legs trembled traitorously.

...no."

"Then shoulders it is!"

Much to Hakuno's dismay the blond boosted her higher still onto his back and simultaneously took hold of her knees to anchor her in place. To make matters worse Kurama capitalized on this opportunity wholeheartedly and claimed himself a _far_ more comfortable perch; one that was not currently occupied by the body one Hakuno Kishinami. More aptly, her hair. Left flailing for for balance she was in turn forced to sink _her_ fingers into the mangled mane of gold that jutted from her Servant's head. Only _then_ did she realize _how_ this might appear to others.

 _"Nononothisisevenworse!"_

She imagined they looked quite the sight. An unlikely trio, Rider striding down the hall without so much as a care in the world; her propped up against his neck, Kurama nestled content upon her head. Spirits, she felt like a scalded fish stripped of its scales. Everyone was looking at them. _Her._ She knew none of their faces, these hapless passerby, but with each passing moment she shrank inward on herself. The brief fog of melancholy had taken her Servant seemed to have evaporated altogether however; in place of that once dour expression Rider's face was firm and resolute, a visible spring to his step.

"C'mon, where's that spunk you showed me before?!" he jostled her lightly! "Show some enthusiasm!"

Reluctantly, the little brunette pumped her fist.

"Whoo...

 **"Louder!"** Kurama goaded.

"Yay." she offered a sullen thrust.

One of those nine tails swatted her on the nose. **"Pitiful!"**

Persnickety little critter! To think, she'd thought him cute! Alright, maybe he _was_ cute but she wasn't about to tell him that after this! Absolute bastards, the both of them! On some level she knew they were only trying to help her; draw her out of her shell-herself-and embolden her against those who would wish her harm. One couldn't afford to be a coward with so many enemy Masters gunning for your life. S.E.R.A.P.H. may have put rules and guidelines in place to prevent all-out war, but it one dirty trick outside of the Arena and her life would be forfeit. If that were the case, if she were going to die anyway...

A snatch of muffled conversation caught her ear just then:

"Is she serious? Making her _Servant_ carry her around like that is just...

"Poor thing." a girl's voice trickled into her ear. "Maybe she's already broken?"

"Heh. Can she even walk?" an ill-looking boy sneered into a marked hand. "Doesn't look like it."

"Yeah, its only a matter of time." another agreed. "Shinji's going to shred her. Tch, isn't he a lucky one..."

Something cracked deep inside Hakuno's heart and her fists bunched painfully against Rider's unruly tangled mane.

Rider had been right after all; she was little more than a guppy in a sea full of sharks. And they were, each of them, hungry. They smelled blood in the water. Hers. There could be no mistaking the pitying-if not predatory-looks flung her way. Were it not for Rider and the implicit threat of a penalty hanging over their heads, she suspected some of them would have tried to take her out here and now. Damnit. Only a few minutes in and she was already tired of being afraid, tired of jumping at shadows, _tired_ of being looked down upon. In private her shyness was something she'd yet to master, but she could put on a brave face in public at the very least-

"Master, would you look at that!" Rider crooned suddenly, turning a toothy smile upon the lot of them. Something terrible flickered in his eyes and she found herself holding tight to him. "Fresh meat!"

Hakuno froze. "Wait, I didn't say-

Kurama only made it worse. **"Dibs on the tall one! I'm FAMISHED."**

Faced with their shared aura of palpable malice, those snide Masters scattered like rotten leaves in the wind. Try as she might, Hakuno couldn't bring herself to pity them. Hmph. Served them right. She almost expected their Servants to manifest in response to Rider's threat but no, no one appeared to pick up the gauntlet he'd thrown down. Really, she almost found it funny how comically _ashen_ they'd become before bolting. _That_ lifted her spirits a little if nothing else. Although, that act they'd put on just now...

"Thanks." she conceded, though not without her own concern. "Were you really going to...

...eat them?" the blond glanced up at her on his shoulders with a small smile. "No. Fun to put them in their place, though."

 **"Hrmph! Speak for yourself."** his partner jibbed, scarcely shifting in the nest of Hakuno's hair. **"Data or not, I wouldn't mind taking a nibble...or two."**

Hakuno caught herself cringing even as Rider openly guffawed. "Sheesh! What is it with you and biting people's heads off, man?! Wonder if we can find you some chocolate or something...

 **"Speaking of which...**

Man and beast turned to face her.

Too late, she realized she'd been corned.

"Now then, I believe we were working on that cheer of yours...?"

 _Oh no._

"C'mon! Put more _oomph_ into it, Master! Let me hear you shout! Show the world you're not afraid!" A short, sharp jump courtesy of Rider jostled her anew and despite her best efforts to maintain her hold, the little magus almost caught herself smiling. She knew he was trying to inspire her, to bolster her own flagging courage...and it was almost starting to work. Still, she remained stubborn -afraid of making a scene more like- and dug her heels in against her Servant's sides.

"Rider, I don't-

"Perhaps you'd rather go back to bed, then?" the less-than-subtle threat dangled between them. "Is that what you want?"

Her shoulders betrayed her, her body offering a tremulous shake at the thought of being alone. She wasn't used to being bullied like this; not out of any sort of spite, but rather a genuine desire. Strange as it might sound, they truly wanted to help her help herself. It didn't make her any less happy about it. Her first instinct was to turtle inward on herself-to simply shut out the world. Ordinarily she would have done just that...if her Servant didn't _keep_ _dragging her right back out again, kicking and screaming._

...no."

"Eh?" Naruto tilted his head away from her as though he hadn't heard that tiny squeak of defiance. "Was that the wind just now?"

 **"I think it was!"**

"Damnit Rider, I said no! You're not putting me back in that bed again!" At her wits end, Hakuno gave his hair a sharp wrench, violently snapping the blond's head to the side. He merely laughed at her feeble fit and patted one of her knees, his rough palm warm through the pantyhose sheathing her leg. Another traitorous tremor wracked her body-this one of an entirely different nature!-but she refused to be swayed by and gripped the roots of his hair firmly in hand, despite knowing she wasn't doing any damage.

 **"Then you know what you have to do."** Kurama chimed. **"Say it! Shout it from the rooftops! What're we going to do in this war?!"**

With pained resolve, she pumped her free hand into a fist and delivered a rousing shout.

"We! Are! Going! To! Win!"

 _"That's my girl!"_

All at once, the hall came alive with the sound of Naruto's laughter. It was a surprisingly pleasant sound Hakuno reflected, a genuine bark born of equal parts surprise and shock. Perhaps he hadn't expected her to say it outright. Perhaps he'd thought she would simply back down. Perhaps he was simply proud of her and laughter was his only way of expressing it. Maybe this spirit-forsaken war wouldn't be quite so bad after all-at least, not if she had these two to help her through it. Regardless, she felt her cheeks burn with pride at what came next.

"See, _there's_ the fire I was talking about!" Rider wheezed out between bouts of mad cackling. "I think I'm falling for you!"

"I can't believe you made me say that...

"Aren't you glad I did?" he grinned.

"Well, yes, but...

In that instant, a flicker of red across the hall caught her eye.

Ironically, the first thing that held Hakuno's gaze was the not the interloper himself but his hair; a stark, startling white in spite of the man's otherwise youthful features. Those steel eyes held hers for a long moment, the ghost of a smile plucking at his tan features. He was a warrior to be sure-though she didn't think him a knight-one clad entirely in black and crimson. And for some inscrutable reason, he seemed fixated on her. The strangest sense of _deja vu_ tickled at her senses; she had the undoubted feeling that she should _know_ this man, yet when she reached for the memory she found naught but empty echoes.

Abruptly, that steely gaze narrowed upon Hakuno.

"Ho?" a low, sardonic snort reached her ears. "Seems I've been noticed."

He seemed almost wistful at the sight of her and yet somehow pained at the same time, a noble sadness that cut deeper than her soul to strike at the very essence of her being. In another life, this would've been her Servant. Her friend. Her ally and perhaps eventually...something more. Of course, she knew none of this. Their paths were already separate from one another; they had diverged from the moment she'd summoned Rider to her side. Considering her for a mere moment more, he raised his hand and beckoned for her to follow, then turned his back to depart back up the staircase from whence he'd come.

If Rider was at all aware of their voyeur he did little to show it. Still...

Without thinking, Hakuno seized his hair and steered him toward the staircase. Her Servant offered a small hiss of surprise, but allowed himself to be directed nonetheless; though not silently by any means. She scarcely heard his protests. Something was tugging at her, urging her onward and upward, though she knew not what nor why, only that she _needed_ to follow this stranger.

"Hey?! What're you doing?!"

"I want go to see the roof." she said simply.

A bead of sweat ran down his brow. "I gathered that much. Why?"

Should she tell him? He might think her silly, or a fool. "I...saw someone. On the stairs."

Blue eyes gleamed gold. Odd. She hadn't seem him do that before. "Was it another Servant?"

Reluctantly, her head bobbed. That crimson-clad man had been anything but human. Lying served no purpose here.

Even so she wasn't...wholly prepared for the shared grin that blossomed upon Naruto and Kurama's visage. It wasn't savage, no, not at all. If she had to put a word to it...excited? Yes, that was it. Somewhere in the back of their shared consciousness, a switch had been flipped. Hakuno wasn't sure she liked it.

"Weeeeeeeell then," the former offered a silent purr, "Why didn't you say so in the first place? If you wanna go up there so badly...hang on!"

Concern creased the brunette's brow.

"Wait, what are you-YIPE!"

In short order they crested the first flight of steps at breakneck speed, followed by the second, then quite suddenly the third. One after the other Rider bounded up the stairwell with ease; their ascent nearly soundless save for his muffled grumbling at her earlier antics. For her part Hakuno settled in to wait against his shoulders until they reached their desired destination, trusting in her Servant's strength not to drop her or play some cruel trick. A slow burn of excitement flared to life as they continued their climb; strange Servants aside, she was honestly quite curious to see the roof for herself.

"ORA!"

She started only when a booted foot cannoned into the door and launched it open, thereby announcing their presence to anyone awaiting them. Despite her best efforts not to appear impressed, the little brunette couldn't help but notice that said door didn't so much open as it did _disintegrate_ _outright_ , tearing itself free from its hinges

"Knock knock~!" Naruto declared loudly. "Anybody hiding up here?! Fight me!"

"Damnit," Hakuno hissed, "Did you have to _shatter_ the door?!"

"Bah! That's the only way to make an entrance!"

As luck would have it, there _was._

A girl with striking-yet-soft features and aqua eyes awaited only a few steps beyond the door itself, her body pivoted away from them. Midnight tresses momentarily concealed her face, bound in twin-tails on either side of her head by equally dark ribbons. Her clothing proved just as remarkable, a red blouse complimented by a dark, scandalously short skirt and...were those leggings? Initially she paid them no mind at all, opting to ignore Naruto's loud spectacle entirely in favor of focusing on a worn portion of the wall.

That soon changed when the door nearly _flattened_ her.

"Just what do you think you're doing?!"

At some silent signal _-likely from her own Servant as much as that flying frame-_ she threw herself backward, jolted upright and spun to face them with a startled squawk. Her once open expression immediately narrowed into suspicion at the sight of Naruto. Not that Hakuno blamed her; anyone would be on edge to see a Servant walking about in broad daylight; much less one that just kicked down a door and demanded a fight. From her vantage point atop Naruto's shoulders Hakuno was unable to see her Servant's expression, but it must've been terrifying indeed to make this one back up.

"Who in the blue hell are you?" she demanded of them, drawing herself up in an attempt to appear taller than she was-a pitiful effort considering Rider's height-to shoot them a dark glower. "Why are you here?!"

"Tell your Servant to stop hiding." by contrast, Rider sounded downright amused. "I can see him standing behind you."

 _'Where?'_

Hakuno saw only empty air.

However, the blackette turned. "How did you-?!"

Those strange golden eyes crinkled as he smiled. "What can I say? Its a gift."

 **"Stop showing off your Sage Mode, brat."** Kurama groused. **"You're upstaging me."**

"Hah!" the blond crowed, heedless of his partner's incessant grumbling. "I don't see _you_ contributing anything useful, fuzzball!"

 **"I would if I wasn't the size of a damn puppy!"** came the answering growl. **"Do you have any idea how _limited_ this form is?! I can barely even-**

Faced with such chaos, Hakuno could only bow her head and apologize from her tenuous perch on the blond's shoulders. Neither noticed her; they were already lost in another argument, ranting and raving about some past slight that she couldn't understand. Clinging to Rider proved far easier now than it had been earlier; almost absurdly so with Kurama atop her head, given that she could feel either tense above or beneath her long before they blond flung themselves into motion. But really, she felt she owed this stranger an apology.

They _had_ come barging up here on a whim after all...

With a supreme effort of will, she wriggled free from Naruto's grasp to slide down his back. For his part her Servant barely noticed, pausing just long enough to arrest her awkward tumble and set her on her feet before flinging himself back into the verbal battlefield once more.

"I really am sorry for all this...and him. He's not usually like this." try as she might to maintain her composure, the aspiring Master couldn't help but be embarrassed as sketched an awkward bow, "I guess I really didn't think there would be anyone up here...

"Oh." the blackette blinked back, only just now noticing her. "You've got a difficult Servant, I see."

Hakuno fought down a twitching eyebrow.

"You have _no_ idea."

"I do, actually." the blackette dimpled, happy to find common ground at last. "Mine likes to run his mouth too, though not nearly as much as yours, apparently."

 _Well, now!_

If the newcomer was pleased to discover a common talking point, then Hakuno was positively delighted. Euphoric, even. It felt...nice to talk to someone who wasn't a Servant, someone who wasn't utterly beholden to her life and by definition, her whims as well. Here, in this moment, she felt as though she'd made...no, not a friend, it was too soon to call this stranger such. An acquaintance? Yes. She rather liked the sound of that. Perhaps she could get along with this girl. Perhaps she wouldn't have to fight this one. Perhaps...

After a moment's hesitation she extended her hand.

...Hakuno Kishinami."

The stranger regarded it for a long, incredulous moment, and Hakuno nearly flinched in the face of that glare. Her gaze, sharp yet clear, a gem that outshone all others. For all her wavering attempts at friendship she was still painfully shy. It had taken a fair bit of coaxing on her part just to do this at all; even now the mere act of offering her palm to a total stranger was the extent of her courage for today. Had she made a mistake? There were supposedly rules that penalized outright combat on campus, but if one were clever enough-

"Rin Tohsaka."

Imagine her surprise then, when _Rin_ accepted the gesture. A brief squeeze of the hand and she withdrew, regarding her curiously. That brief gleam of anger vanished, replaced by mild intrigue. As she looked on the ghost of a smile played across those full lips and she cocked her head to consider her, as though she were a small animal that the latter was thinking of adopting-no, that wasn't it. _Taming._ Somehow that thought filled her with dread. Urk. Hakuno almost missed the anger. _Anger_ was something she knew, something she could react to. Understand. This...this was _frightening._

"Are you sure you're a Master?" she posited. "You seem awfully...ordinary."

The poor girl nearly choked on her own spit.

 _'That was a low blow!'_

Rin turned her gaze back on her, pondering that. No, not her, Hakuno realized. Tohsaka was staring well past her now; toward Rider and Kurama, who, rather than argue with one another, had instead settled for glaring bloody red daggers at one another. Or gold still, in Naruto's case. Kurama had mentioned something about Sage Mode. Did that have something to do with it?

"They're still at it, huh?"

The little brunette heaved a sigh.

"So... _is_ your Servant to make an appearance?"

Rin recognized the jab immediately and feigned a smile. "Not likely. He's shy."

Hakuno would've likely said more to that effect, but Naruto suddenly laughed behind her.

"So he's a coward, then?" there was something dangerous in that smile, and she realized too late what he was doing; the act he was perpetuating. "Good to know. If he'd rather tuck his tail in and hide, he'll be easy prey-

The first blow was nearly the last.

Without the slightest iota of warning Naruto physically _spun,_ rounding on Hakuno to seize her by the collar. Then he threw all his weight into his shoulders and by definition, the little magus resting there. Realizing what was about to transpire, Hakuno tried to cling on with the last of her strength, to no avail. Quite abruptly she found herself airborne again, her world spinning as she hurtled through the air. Strong arms-another copy?-caught her in mid-flight and alighted neatly some distance away. A harsh rending noise rang through the air, tearing at her ears as she struggled to make sense of it all, punctuated by an amused laugh.

"Aha! _There_ you are!"

The white-haired Servant from before had clearly taken offense to that last remark and gone for a killing blow.

Naturally Rider had moved to intercept him of course; after all, he'd been the one to instigate this third party in the first place. His sole concession to the danger had been to fling her away-she realized that now-create a doppelganger to catch her, keep her from harm, and extend an arm.

Said arm was currently gripping a curved short-sword mere inches from his neck.

"Gotta say, that was a close one." the whiskered warrior purred, forcing the edge back, "Another second there and you would've had me. However...

Uncaring of his bleeding palm the blond held the white sword at bay, tan fingers gripping the pale metal. That was to be expected. _What proved somewhat more concerning however,_ was the fact that Kurama had joined the fray as well. Despite-or perhaps in spite of-his pitiful size, he had intercepted their attacker's secondary weapon-a gleaming black blade-with naught but his teeth alone. Nor had he budged from his reclaimed place upon blond's shoulder. Somehow, even with his mouth full of metal, he managed to grin.

 **...did you really think that would work?"**

"Well." the crimson knight sighed, "Can't blame me for trying...pipsqueak."

Rider and mount alike stiffened as one, but it was the latter who snarled. **"I am going to break you in HALF you sarcastic little...!"**

To the dismay of both magi, Naruto willingly shredded his hand to shatter the sword in his grasp and lashed out with an armored knee, driving his shin into stomach of the nameless Servant. In the same moment Kurama bit down on the weapon currently occupying much of his mouth, rendering it little more than broken shards in his toothy maw. Without missing a beat he promptly turned and spat them back in the face of Rin's Servant, who impossibly _summoned another pair of the very same swords_ and bounded away, his arms a-whirl of crimson as he fought to deflect the shrieking chunks of metal.

Considering his bloodied fist, Naruto heaved a sigh.

"Well! That's going to take a bit to heal. Now then, why don't we all calm down and talk this out before someone looses a limb...?"

 _"Talk?_ You must be joking." Rin bristled at the insinuation, something cold and horrible flashing across her face. "There's nothing to _talk_ about here at all, Servant." she declared, and the resolve behind her words sent a shiver shooting down Hakuno's spine. "We're in a war. Violence is a mean to an end in that regard. And as for you!" her gaze snapped to Hakuno with such force that the brunette actually flinched. "I don't know if you planned that little stunt to show off, _or_ if you're just absurdly lucky. Regardless, if you're not prepared to kill your enemies then you should just take your own life and be done with it. Spare me the trouble.

Hakuno wanted to shrink away into nothing; the words struck her like a physical blow.

Everything had been going so well, too...

"Being a little harsh, aren't we?"

"Quiet, Archer!" Rin snapped. "And put your swords away already! Are you _trying_ to get us penalized, attacking like that?! We're already in trouble as it is!"

"Whatever you say, Master." Reluctantly, the thus-named Archer did as he was bade. "Some things never change...

Rin absolutely hissed. "What was that?!"

A small, sardonic snort answered.

"Nope, didn't say a thing...

Not so Naruto.

Indeed, while Hakuno had expected her Servant to snap back at Rin, she found a far more terrifying expression awaiting her there.

He was smiling; yes, Rider's grin threatened to split his face. Archer? And one that wielded swords at that? Oh. Oho. Ohohoho. He certainly wasn't going to forget this. His adorable little Master might, but that tiny tidbit of information was even now being locked securely in the vault of his mind. A faint buzzing sensation tickled the back of his mind, one he puzzled at only briefly before dismissing it. Still, she'd insulted Hakuno just now; gone and punched another hole in the beleaguered vehicle of the poor girl's self esteem; one riddled with enough holes already. That just wouldn't do. An example needed to be made.

Flicking his fingers, he sent a silent command toward his clone and bade it take hold of her; to usher her downstairs and out of harms way.

"Give us a minute, will you, Master?" he didn't wait for her reply before advancing. "I'll meet you in our room. Eventually."

"What-hey!" she squawked as the silent copy seized her wrist in an iron vice. "I do not accept this!"

A familiar furry weight took up residence on her head, momentarily causing her to flail.

 **"Just roll with it, kid."** the fox hissed. **"In case you haven't noticed...**

Slitted eyes shifted to the blond's broad back.

 **...he's furious."**

Trusting in her instincts, Hakuno reluctantly permitted Kurama to hop down onto her shoulder; only then did she allow herself to be led away by the clone. There was no shame in leaving Rider to his own devices for a time; even if one of those devices happened to be a capable magus who'd expressed genuine interest in him. Wait...was she jealous? No! Surely not! If Rider wanted to interrogate an enemy Master for information then that was none of her concern. It didn't bother her. No. Not at all. Not in the least. Not even a little bit...

Slowly-awkwardly-she willed herself forward.

"Just...come back in one piece, alright?"

Naruto offered a small salute.

"Yes ma'am!"

To his credit, he held that salute-that fake smile-until he was wholly certain she'd departed. Until she, and by definition their connection, registered as little more than an afterthought in his mind. Only then did he allow the mask to slip, his smirk warping into an ill-scowl. Damn grail. He would've been quite happy _without_ this influx of information in his head, this torrent of ghostly, unwanted memories and dreams that didn't belong to him. The Grail-supplied data was one matter; the rest, another.

On a some level he knew he shouldn't even _have_ them; when a Servant was summoned they shouldn't be aware of their other selves. Yet he was. And they were. When Hakuno was nearby he could almost ignore them entirely, shut them out and focus on his duties as her Servant. Without her...well...really, it was enough to drive a man...mad.

When he finally spoke, he'd meant to sound pleasant, happy even.

It emerged as a growl.

"So. Tohsaka. Let's _ **...talk."**_

Remarkably, Rin didn't flinch. This time.

That likely had something to do with Archer's presence.

"Is there something you wanted, Servant?" she asked innocently.

 _'Innocent my ass! You've been rubbing me the wrong way the moment I laid eyes on you!'_

A muscle jumped in Naruto's jaw, a sudden spark of irritation that fanned the flames of his anger to a near-feverish degree. Through sheer will, he bit his tongue.

 _Calm down._ some distant, detached part of himself took stock of the situation and ruthlessly rebuked himself. _Breathe. You won't get anywhere if you start tossing out accusations left and right like an idiot. Rushing in will avail you nothing. Look how well that served us when we were alive. No, you have to be smart about this. Use your brain for once, you dolt!_

"Well," he began sheepishly, "I'd like to ask you a few questions, but your buddy's glaring at me...

"Ho?" Archer favored him with a small sneer. "Don't tell me you're afraid...?"

"Of you? Hardly." Naruto riposted. "I just don't like you."

"Hrrmph. Rest assured, the feeling's mutual."

"He stays." it was not a request.

"Tch. Spoilsport."

He wondered about that; indeed, he'd been considering the matter for quite some time now. From the moment he'd laid eyes on Rin Tohsaka he had felt something. A connection that didn't quite...click, a flicker of unease haunted by the strangest feeling of nostalgia. As if they'd met before. As though they knew each other. Deeply. Intimately. Nothing could be further from the truth of course, he had never seen the exasperating little mage until this very moment. Yet that thought rankled and spurred something. Irritation. Dislike. Fear.

 _'I DO know her...well, not her per se, but...gods, this Throne thing is weird...or is it the Throne doing this?'_

Faint recollections appeared unbidden, vanishing like dew fall when he reached for them, leaving naught but empty embers behind. He glimpsed a girl's face not unlike hers, but sharper; those aqua orbs roaring with fiery pride and determination. It stirred a strange longing in his chest. _Did_ he know her? It was possible, he supposed. In a sense he could be summoned as a different class at any given time, even when already manifested as another. It stood to reason that an "incarnation" of Naruto might have in turn, met "another" Tohsaka.

They might not even be from the Moon Cell.

Still, something-or was it someone?-spurred him to speak.

"You know, Tohsaka...you almost remind me of someone. Or _are_ you that someone? I wonder about that, you know." Ah. At last. There it was. A tiny crack in her ice queen facade, a thin, hairline fracture in the otherwise impenetrable wall that was Rin Tohsaka. "She had your face, you know. But you're not her, and that's neither here nor there I suppose." he feigned a shrug, mirroring his own silent unease. "Whatever they are, memories of "that" Naruto aren't my memories and "my" actions aren't "his." Still, for their sake, I'll say this just once. Ease up on my Master. She's new to all this."

"She won't get anywhere with that wishy-washy attitude." Remarkably it was Archer, not Rin who responded to his plea. "This is a war. People will die. You have to accept it. So will she."

"Yeah, yeah, people die when they are killed and all that." Rider replied glibly, waving a hand in dismissal. "I get it. Now shut up, sword boy. Who decided that? Hmm?"

"Sword boy? Haven't been called that before...

Rin blinked as her Servant sputtered. "What? The Moon Cell of course, that's-

His finger jabbed against her nose, cutting her off with a start. **"No."**

"I beg your pardon?"

"The answer is obvious. WE decide such things." Blue eyes gleamed red with resolve, and something in those wild slitted orbs roared at her to be silent or face terrible consequences. "Not the Moon Cell. Not the Grail. Not some stupid super computer that thinks it knows whats best for humanity. Us. People. Now, you may call my Master a helpless little chick...but _gods be damned_ , this little chick will rule the Moon Cell if I have anything to say about it! If you and mister Sasuke-wannabe over there have a problem with it, then tough!

Peace out bitches~!"

Having said his peace, Naruto all but flung himself down the stairs three at a time before Archer could managed to draw a bead on him. At this point he'd just be overstaying his welcome and penalty be damned _that would_ give Rin's Servant an excuse to attack him again, orders or otherwise. Still...an Archer who wielded swords. That was an anomaly all its own, and one he wouldn't be forgetting anytime soon. For now he'd file it away with the rest and track down his wayward master-

 **"UNHAND ME, WOMAN!"**

"Nay!" came the rejoinder! "I shall keep you!"

As he reached the first floor a faint sense of sheer surprise snarled through the Master-Servant bond that bound him to Hakuno. Moments later, someone started shouting. Loudly at that. Keen ears pricked up immediately against his will, putting a spring into his step. Indeed, Naruto was just about to break out into a dead sprint when he realized he _recognized_ those voices in the hall. More aptly, the one instigating everything.

"Such fire for one so small! If only you were my Master!"

"W-W-What're you doing?!" Hakuno's voice wailed! "Put him down right now!"

"I will not!" a woman's melodious decree answered his Master's mild-mannered mewl. "This fur...this texture...he's adorable! Umu~! He shall be my pet!"

 **"I'd sooner chew my paws off!"** Kurama shot back.

"Nonsense! You will

Naruto paused at the corner, lingering just out of sight. Sure enough he recognized the scarlet dress as much as the one wearing it; for it was wholly impossible not to. Apparently Saber was silent enough to get the drop on his old friend. Who knew? This strange situation was only made all the more comical by what-who!-she was holding. Nuzzled against her bosom, a frazzled Kurama struggled to flee and found no recourse. An equally exasperated Hakuno furiously tugged at the arms holding him, to no avail.

 **"Will! You! Stop! Pulling! Meeeee!"**

"Give him baaaaack!"

"Never~!"

As entertaining as this was, he really felt he should intervene. If this continued Kurama probably would snap at her, or lash out at the very least. Still, it wasn't every day that he got to see his partner so flustered outside of combat. Hmm. Maybe he'd watch this play out a bit more, just for kicks...what could possibly go wrong?

In the end the decision was made for him.

"Alright, now!" Raising his voice to be heard, the blond stepped around the corner. "What's all this, then?"

Huh. He hadn't thought Hakuno was capable of moving that fast, let alone grabbing his arm with that kind of strength. You really did learn something new every day. Judging by her frazzled expression he suspected Saber had put her through the wringer before he'd

"Rider!"

"The one and only!"

"This...this crazy woman took Kurama!"

A blond brow rose in mild bemusement. "Did she now?"

In that moment, Hakuno's terminal offered a plaintive beep at her side; one the caused her to briefly relinquish her hold on a terrified Kurama in favor of it. The message that waited her there sent her heart leaping and sinking in the same instant. A simple line of text that both filled her with dread and the promise of new hope as one.

"Hmm?" Naruto appeared behind her shoulder. "What does it say?"

Reluctantly, she showed him.

...it says we can enter the arena now."

"Sweet!" he offered her a cheshire grin. "Earlier than I expected at that! But before all that...

 **"Saaaaaaaaaaaaaave me!"** Kurama wailed!

...we should probably get him back."

"Ah!" Saber perked up as those cobalt blue eyes met her own jade green. "I take it this little one belongs to you, Rider!"

Really, he was almost tempted to say no just to screw with her; but that would only send the kitsune into a fresh fit of pique; not to mention inflict more property damage than he was willing to deal with. Jamming a hand into his pocket, he reluctantly turned to face the belligerent blond. "Yes, he does. I'm going to have to ask you to give him back. He's not yours."

Sabers never made life easy, he found. No, not once. Not ever.

"Then I demand a duel!" To his dismay, his fellow blond thrust a finger at him, poking his chest with a confident grin. "The winner shall claim him!"

Kurama turned an alarming shade of puce. **"I am not some prize to be claimed you fool of a woman!"**

Naruto was of a mind to agree. "Where's this coming from all of a sudden?!"

"Silence! I have frustration to vent!"

Saber's request-nay, her demand-was so sudden, so wholly unexpected, that Naruto couldn't help himself. He actually snickered. In that instant his body betrayed him, his head tossed itself back nearly of its own volition, and laughed. A pure sound of mad mirth. He didn't know whether this sudden encounter stemmed from dissatisfaction with her Master or some personal vendetta or even a third category altogether; he simply didn't care anymore. Merely seeing her again lifted his spirits out of the muck they'd been mired in.

"Ohhhhh, thank you." he sighed, wiping a mirthful tear from his eye. "I think I needed that."

Green eyes glowed. "Then...!"

...nope. I refuse."

Nero sniffled.

 _"Hweh?!_ You can't refuse an Empress! I'll cry! Seriously, I'll cry!"

"Right." Naruto scoffed. "As if a Servant would actually...

A small, tiny sob fled from Saber's lips.

"Uh-oh."

It stood in such stark contrast to her earlier behavior that both Master and Servant actually blinked and the latter refused to believe it outright; even Kurama momentarily ceased his struggling to share in their shock. By the time he realized he could've used this opportunity to escape her clutches, the waterworks were already well under way. Her lower lip offered little more than a traitorous tremble, those bright jade orbs swimming with unshed tears. Hands balled into fists. To her credit, the red Saber did her best to bite her lip and hold on. To say that she failed spectacularly would've been the understatement of the century.

Cheeks flushed, eyes swimming, Nero Claudius looked to be at her wits end.

"I...you...to trample so thoroughly on my pride _...waaaaaaaaaaaah!"_

"Rider?! What do we do now?!"

"Why're ya asking me?!"

"Make her stop!"

In the end, surprisingly, Saber really did fling herself to the floor and start bawling. Ordinarily, young Hakuno might've found it funny if it wasn't so _damn loud;_ if the sound of her lamentations didn't threaten to shatter her eardrums as much as her very spirit. Screw Noble Phantasms, this was a crippling attack in and of itself! Helpless, she flailed spectacularly and clamped her hands against her ears, wholly at a loss. Still, the tantrum raged on:

"You're awful!" Saber wailed, thrashing about on the ground! "Demon! Destroyer! Devil! Even my Master isn't as cruel as you! Shame on you, Rider! Ruining a maiden's one true wish!"

"Alright, alright, fine!" Exasperated, Naruto found himself left with no recourse but to fling up his hands. "I'll duel you for Kurama! Just stop crying already! You're making me feel bad, damnit!"

The change was near instantaneous.

 _"Umu~!"_

...

...

...

...it would prove to be a trying afternoon indeed.

 **A/N: And there we go.**

 **Final part of Round One will be next chapter. Hakuno and Nero just stole the show...**

 **Pain isn't fun.**

 **Pain of the heart, pain of the soul, pain in general. Reviews keep me writing, feedback even more so. Without them its hard to keep myself coming back; health woes and other issues aside, I've been around this site for more than a decade now, and it breaks my heart to see people leaving in droves. But me? I'm here to stay. Until I draw my last breath. Until my body is dust.**

 **So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **It really hurts when I bust my ass writing long chapters for you guys and gals only to get...well...nothing...**

 **...hope you enjoy the previews!**

 **Potential ones at any rate...**

 **...and one of them...well...**

 **GET READY TO CRY.**

 **(Previews)**

 _Blood._

 _Gasping, she tumbled into his arms._

 _"Ah...I see. If this is death...if you're the one to kill me...then I accept it."_

 _"No, wait!" Flailing, he grasped at her fading form. "Hang on! Damnit, I can fix this! I know I can...!"_

 _...you're a nice person Rider." her pale visage curved in a small smile. "Too nice. Still...I think that's why...at the end...I think I really...did love...you."_

* * *

 _"Waitwaitwait!" A new voice cried. "You there! Stooooooop~!"_

 _That kimono was certainly...unique. She looked as though she would fall out of it any moment. Of course, that did nothing to distract from her beauty. He was rather reminded of...oh, what was the word again? The Grail-given information he'd supplied with offered it readily enough when he reached for it. A courtesan?_ _"You're sooooo fluffy~!"_

 _ **"I'll bite you."**_

 _Caster twitched._

 _A high end courtesan, then._

 _"Well, that's nice but we need to be going..._

 _"Wait! I have...information! Yes! Information on that seaweed brat!"_

 _Naruto and Hakuno and Kurama each exchanged a dumbfounded look between one another. "Seaweed?"_

 _"I mean that blue-haired brat!"_

 _Several floors below, Shinji gave a mighty sneeze._

 _"Why help us?"_

 _Her tail was actually wagging. "Why, that handsome soul of yours, of course! Can I have it?"_

 _At a loss, Hakuno could only follow._

 _How little she knew._

* * *

 _Splat._

 _"Um...it was an accident?"_

 _Growling, Nero slowly wiped her face._

 _"Of course, you realize...this means WAAAAAAAR!"_

* * *

 _Rani frowned._ _"You are...a strange person."_

 _"Yeah, I get that a lot. And you?"_

* * *

 _"Who are you?"_

 _Hakuno sputtered. "I'm...me."_

 _"That's right!" Rider roared. "You're Hakuno Kishinami and you're not going to take this shit! Now get up and kick their ass!"_

* * *

 _Archer was silent for a long, agonizing moment, considering his maimed leg._ _Then he palmed a twisted arrow to his hand. "Caladbolg...!"_

 _Naruto hissed softly, struggling and failing to stand. "Ohcrapthatisgonnahuuuurt-_

 _He was right on that account._ _It did hurt._

 _I_ _mmeasurably._

* * *

 _"I'll give you this much; your strategy was flawless. Really. I had no way to counter it. But you. Made one. Fatal. Mistake."_

 _"Oh, and what's that?" the Master scoffed, sneering._

 _A flickering crimson blur burst behind him._

 _"You underestimated her."_

 _Perhaps, had the "Master" been more knowledgeable they would've realized their peril; Rider could transfer his cloak with a touch, lend his energy to those he deemed worth. He'd done so earlier, mere moments before his legs had been blasted off his body. But they did not, and they WERE NOT and thus, they fell prey to the oldest trick in the book. Small knuckles swung back, forming a claw, the borrowed shroud mimicking her movements like some twisted puppet. Bright eyes blazed up, wild and furious, framed by wavy brown hair. A lone, fell declaration ripped through the poor Master's ears as he stared death in the face. 'I've blundered.'_

 _"Get away **...FROM MY RIDER!"**_

 _Then there was pain._

* * *

 _On her shoulder, Kurama bristled. **"Idiot, don't stop! Run! Now! Move it!"**_

 _Too late;_ _She found herself face to face with a man clad in flaming clothes, his slim body blocking the path._ _Eyes like death regarded her. She could see nothing else. Assassin. This had to be him. A cold breath hitched in her throat, her heart leaping into her lungs. It couldn't end like this, not like this..._

 _"Want to feel something, girl?" the Servant purred._ _And then, quite suddenly, he moved. So did another._

 _Rider's forehead slammed against his with a dull crack and did not yield. Neither did Assassin. The two Servants stood stock still, neither giving ground, dead black eyes blazing into baleful blue. A crazed smile flashed out in the dim light and for a terrifying instant Hakuno didn't know who she feared more; the smiling killer who'd nearly claimed her own life, or her own Servant._ _Then Naruto laughed and her feelings shifted firmly toward the former._ _Probably because he was gripping the man's arm in an iron vice and looked just about ready to rend him limb from limb._

 _"Good grief, Assassin." Strange, he sounded almost...dissappointed. "Did you really think that would work?"_

 _Grimacing, the redhead attempted to retreat._

 _An arm locked around his, trapping him._

 _"Going somewhere?!"_

 **R &R~! =D**


	4. First Selection (Part III)

**A/N: I've been playing Sekiro. I can't beat the last boss. Its beating my head in!**

 **GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!**

 **WARNING!**

 **I had to split this chapter into two halves due to the sheer volume of it all; expect the next relatively soon.**

 **This chapter-and the next-has a lot of heart and soul, personality, humor...and chaos. Its also told from Drake's perspective and as such, has multiple entries. It doesn't jump around...much. This will NOT become a thing. Its only for this chapter so I apologize in advance if anyone takes issue with it.**

 **Ye have been warned~!**

 **On another note...**

 **...ouch.**

 **Not My Blight bombed, guess Dragon Age isn't as popular as it used to be...**

 **Feels good to get back to the good 'ol stories I love, even when I'm not feeling my best.**

 **This chapter's got a lot of heart and soul; hope you like it!**

 **...I've also come to a decision. I'm not going to be a doormat at my job any longer. Screw that. I'v been there for years, busting my ass-won't say where I work for the sake of anonymity-to make an honest living and then they try and pull this crap on me? Nooooo, no, no, no. I think not!**

 **Don't worry, I'm not going to go psycho or anything; I'm merely going to make my voice heard and if they don't like it, well...**

 **...I have other opportunities lined up.**

 **But enough about me!**

 **I found the perfect song for this chapter:**

 ** _"Karliene - Anne Bonny."_**

 **It really helped me to write this chapter, even the song itself wasn't about Francis Drake herself the theme worked just fine. Give it a lesson if you've a mind to hear a catchy little sea shanty for yourself. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, onto the obligatory disclaimer!**

 **DISCLAIMER!**

 **I!**

 **OWN!**

 **NOTHING!**

 **Now onto your questions!**

 **Hope this helps explain things~!**

 **Q: Does Drake use a sword?  
**

 **A: Actually its a pirate cutlass and only rarely. Its flat out stated that she vastly prefers her pistols, but she WILL use it when hemmed in. She uses it quite deftly in Fate Link as well.**

 **Q: ...someone is going to die in this story, aren't they?**

 **A: Alas, this is true. It was...bound to happen sooner or later.**

 **Q: Noooooo! Don't you do it! I know what you're thinking for upcoming chapters! Do noooooot kill her!**

 **A: Imma do it. I wanted to try something new. Going from Drake's perspective was a novel idea; I do hope you like it. Still, this chapter might surprise you.**

 **Q: Dear god, the thought of Tamamo as Amaterasu...**

 **A: If Tamamo ever regained all her tails...well. She'd wreck Naruto in his Rider form. Now if both were at the pinnacle of their power and not limited by the S.E.R.A.P.H. system then we'd have a fight for the ages.**

 **Q: This Hakuno is BEST Hakuno and no one can tell me otherwise.**

 **A: Why, thank you! Ironically, it was well established in the game that Hakuno was shy and timid in the beginning, and didn't truly start to come out of her shell until the third round. With Rider (Naruto!) pushing her to be more, of course she'll come out of her shell.**

 **Q: Man why you gotta shaft my boy Lancer like that. Not cool.**

 **A: Oh ho! Lancer (Cu!) is still in this story! Rin simply isn't his Master this time around. I will say this, though; our boy actually got really lucky this time around with his Master.**

 **Care to guess who?**

 **Q: Which Emiya is this? MOON CELL or FATE?**

 **A:** **To clarify, this Emiya is different than the one we're accustomed to. I'm sorry if that confuses anyone.**

 **Q: Hope you broke Shinji's balls. He's one of the few anime characters I genuinely hate.**

 **A: Consider them broken.**

 **Q: When are you going to update your other Fate material.**

 **A: Of course, I give all my projects credence, some are simply harder to write than others. A Most Unlikely Berserker for example, takes a LOT of work; if only because of the working cast and the fact that we-yes, I said WE-want the chapters to be longer. Sorry for making ya'll wait!**

 **Q: DIO demands that you update your other stories, posthaste! And publish that Jojo tale of yours already!**

 **A: SHHHHHHHHH! That's supposed to be a sodding secret! Why does everyone know about it?!**

 **WRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY!**

 **As ever, reviews feed my engine of creation, so keep at it~!**

 **Really, sometimes it feels that the kind words-and critiques-of you fine folks on this site are all that keeps me going. That and its always nice to hear from people. Now more than ever, considering the state of...well, my life. I won't bore you with the details, you didn't come here for that. Now then...**

 **...get ready for a nice long chapter, packed to the brim with heart.**

 **Well, heart, chaos, humor and all that gooooooooood stuff.**

 **Bah, semantics! As always, I hope ya enjooooooy~!**

 **Fair warning, this chapter is all kinds of silly.**

 _"This means WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!"_

 _~?_

 **First Selection (Part III)**

Francis Drake did not consider herself to be a good person.

Oh, she knew where her talents lay and was quite happy to keep it that way. It made things...less complicated. She'd ravaged galleons mercilessly. Conquered the seas without fear. Made herself a terror of the seas. Put her on a ship, a pistol in one hand, and a bottle of whiskey in the other and she would be perfectly at her ease. Give her gold and she would scatter it like a storm. She lived to murder and plunder and raid until she was satisfied. She thrived on chaos. Nothing better. Some might call her a glutton for such wanton behavior; but it was simply her way.

Live free or die hard. That was her motto.

So when a certain Rider and a red Saber darted past her-with the former carrying their master in their arms like a spoiled little princess-to begin flitting about about the cafe like a pair of mad minxes _...well._ Naturally she took notice. It was the simplest thing to slip away and follow the two of them at her leisure. With her Master recovering from his injury-and didn't that make her snicker!-she was left with an inordinate amount of free time to do as she pleased.

And this pleased her greatly.

Still, curiosity won the day over pleasure.

"Bloody hell, _what in the seven seas are they doing?"_

Rider followed them at a distance, watching the duo turning over tables as the little Master scurried out of their way. The pistol-wielding pirate took a moment to admire the girl as she turned, admiring her chestnut brown hair, those wide eyes set in a gentle face. She was certainly cute in a small/timid way, but how would that be attractive to someone like Naruto...oh. Drake finally saw it then. Glimpsed it. She could see it in the way Hakuno she carried herself, the stubborn set of her jaw as she barked orders at the NPC manning the counter. Heh. Girl had a spine of steel underneath it all. No wonder the blond seemed so set on her.

Although...that red Rider was not without his own merits.

All things considered, Naruto might've made a good first mate, in another life. His loyalty was unspeakable, unshakable, unbreakable. Drake could see it in his eyes as she watched him storm about the mess with single-minded vigor, close enough to keep a weather eye on Saber yet never too far from the little brunette; always within arms reach, always close enough in case someone took it into their head to harm her. No, more than that, he seemed almost...protective of her. Even when he turned to snark something at the red Saber she saw his body shift, coiled muscle ready to spring at the slightest provocation.

Oh.

In that moment, something clicked in Drake's mind, an epiphany breaking with the dawn. Her eyes widened.

Oho.

Naruto actually liked his Master. No, more than that. The blond Rider seemed outright _fond_ of her for some reason or another.

 _Ohoho~!_

A small, lazy smile spread across the pirate's face as she observed them. That suited Drake just fine. Here was a weakness; one she could _exploit!_

With this, the pirate felt she finally had her fellow Rider's measure; at least in part. Naruto would happily throw himself into her line of fire if it meant protecting this little minx from harm; his was the kind of devotion that couldn't be bought. It was earned. A rare kind of bond that came about once in a lifetime. For all of his strength and power, a Servant was only as good as their Master. Hakuno was not a very good Master. She might be sweet as sugar and smooth as creme, but a mere trickle of prana flowed from her to her Servant, barely enough to sustain him.

How long would he last like this?

Still, anyone willing to go to such lengths for their liege-to be confident in the face of such weakness-must've been an absolute _monster_ in battle when they were alive. Who knew what tricks he had up his sleeves? Naruto carried himself with the air of one who'd long since embraced the battlefield. Speaking of physicality...

Good lord you could grind _meat_ on those broad shoulders!

A flicker of crimson danced in her peripherals and then, quite suddenly, she found herself distracted as something landed on her shoulder.

 **"You there!"** Odd how a voice so deep could come from someone so small. **"Woman! Hide me!"**

Mildly bemused by the spectacle, Rider favored her passenger a long, searching glance.

It was the fox from before, as she'd expected. That he'd abandoned Naruto's shoulder in favor of hers proved so amusing that Drake was inclined to let him stay, if only to get a rise out of her fellow Rider. What? A girl had to keep herself entertained somehow! Better this than nothing! In the end she took pity on the fox and allowed him to remain, for a time.

"Hey! I remember you," a wry smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she beheld his quivering form. "Kurama, right? You're that kid's...what, pet?"

Odd how something so small could be so loud.

 **"I am not a pet!"**

 _Gotcha._

"Oh ho!" Grinning, she favored the little creature with a bemused look. "Then what are you?"

"I...!"

Sure enough he snapped at the bait like a starving shark. The tiny kitsune absolutely growled at her; indeed, he looked all of a moment from sinking his teeth into her. Remarkably, he mastered his anger and reeled his rage back from the brink. His immediate rejoinder however, struck the smile from Drake's face as surely as any blow.

 **"Nevermind that! Those buffoons are holding a contest for the glory of owning me! Make them stop at once!"**

His words produced the opposite effect in her.

...ha?" Drake managed eloquently.

Baffled, she turned her gaze back to the proceedings only to find that the scene had changed once more. Oh, there were still upturned tables to be sure, but they'd changed, been shoved together by more than mere spite and happenstance. It almost looked intentional, as though they were trying to create one absurdly long one in the admittedly limited space. Worse still, Rider and Saber were now shaking hands beside their strange little monument, palms firmly clasped between one another. _Hands!_ They'd been all but ready to kill one another a minute ago! What changed?!

But what truly baffled Francis Drake was not this sudden form of truce, but rather...

...what in the deep blue sea was going on here?

 _Why were there three RIDERS?!_

The first was of course, shaking Saber's-who she strongly suspected to be none other than Nero Claudius-hand, but unless her eyes deceived her, there were two more. Two. More. Only the fading wisps of smoke offered any clue as to their origin. At first Drake thought they were little more than a conjurer's trick; illusions possessing little in the way of substance but no, at a word from their master one of the two doppelgangers turned to sweep Hakuno off her feet and swing her into his arms. The other snatched up a nearby chair, while the first happily plopped her down into it.

Drake actually blinked.

So. Physical copies, then. Copies that could interact with the world. Possibly fight, even. _Ohhh,_ their battle was going to suck. How many copies could he make? Were they capable of taking a hit? Countless question flitted to life in her mind, swaying like a storm-tossed sea.

When she attempted to soundboard Kurama for answers, the little kitsune only groaned into a paw. **"Its too late now...**

"Wait, what is?" the sailor posited.

"Well, they couldn't have a proper duel before S.E.R.A.P.H. butted in, so they settled for this instead." a fresh voice interjected behind the two of them, punctuated by the brisk-yet-crisp sound of approaching footsteps. "More's the pity, really. Woulda put good money on blondie beating _blondie_ over there in a fair fight. Feasting is a close second, I suppose. Look at all that grub!"

Unbidden her eyes stole back over the rapidly mounting mountain of foodstuffs taking shape across the table. Those roast turkeys looked particularly good, as did that pair of pies. A grand feast to be sure, but where the hell was it coming from? Just how much could S.E.R.A.P.H. make? No, wait,t hat was a foolish question. If meant maintaining the health of the Masters and their Servants, the Moon Cell could likely create enough to feed a small army...even if Rider and Saber were actively duping it.

But that was besides the point!

Who the hell was this?!

 _"Ha?!"_

Drake recognized the voice-as well its owner behind her-not a heartbeat later and turned to face him-dragging an irritated Kurama along for the ride-though it took her a handful of seconds to realize what he'd meant by that. By then his doppelgangers had returned to the table and each seized hold of an empty tankard. Then they began thumping them upon the tables in a rhythmic succession, growing steadily louder with each passing moment. A steady clamor, one that thrummed in her blood almost pleasantly, like the drums of a great war galleon. Unbidden, Drake caught herself smiling.

"So that's their game. They're going to see who can pack more away?" A thought occurred to her, suddenly, and she tilted her head. "Wait...which one did you bet on?"

Light laughter greeted her.

 _"Yes."_

To her dismay, Kurama actually joined him. **"Wow. You walked right into that one."**

Infuriating, the both of them!

Rather than painstakingly conceal his identity as most Servants would, this one seemed to revel in it. Here was a warrior who knew no fear, who spoke only one language, and it was the song of battle. Drake could respect that, if nothing else. The towering crimson spear slung over his shoulder gave his class away immediately; not that he made any effort to conceal it. And his attire... _weeeeeeell now._ He was certainly well-fit. That tight blue jumpsuit of his was nearly enough to make a woman drool. His azure hair, the idea of threading her hands through it...hmm. The thought made Drake lick her lips.

She knew at once he was infinitely pleased with himself, if only for the chaos that the two Servants were sowing around them.

It did her blackened heart good to meet another rabble-rouser this early in the war. Truly, it did.

Planting a hand upon her hip, the wild pirate queen flashed the newcomer a roguish grin.

"And your Master doesn't mind you being here, Lancer?" It was a baited statement of course, hooked words meant to pry a precious nugget of information from the otherwise recalcitrant Lancer. As luck would have it, he swallowed it without a care. She had her suspicions about him to be sure, but this merely confirmed it.

"Ha!" Wild red eyes widened with feral glee and pearly white teeth flashed out at her in a roguish grin. "Mine doesn't give a hoot. Guess I got lucky this time around~!"

"You _do_ realize you still have E-Rank luck, hound?" she posited.

Lancer merely clicked his tongue at her, hook line and sinker.

"Gah, you're a cruel one...so? What's with the pet?"

Kurama squawked at the insult and the laughter that followed, red fur crackling as if he'd somehow caught fire. Really, it was almost cute to see something so small try to puff itself up so. Almost reminded Drake of a parrot. Ha! The mental image _that_ conjured would stay with her for the rest of the war. Now she couldn't help but imagine the small kitsune with bright green feathers. Of course _that_ only made her laugh all the louder, which in turn only served to further rouse the exasperated fox to new heights.

 **"You bastards!"**

Lancer took the jab in stride. "Be that as it may, looks like we're not alone."

Drake frowned. "The hell're you talking...about...

Glancing about, the pirate was somewhat chuffed to find that she and Lander weren't the only interested party in this spectacle. Indeed, several Servants and their Masters had come out of the woodwork-quite literally in the case of a certain Archer-to take advantage of this rare opportunity, to glean some intelligence from the fallout of Naruto and Nero's little event.

Some were admittedly less overt about it than others.

On such a confined campus any clash, no matter how minor, would be noticed instantly by others. Likewise any event that strayed from the norm would be met with skepticism and excitement; there certainly seemed to be a great deal of the _latter_ here judging by the sheer number of faces in the cafeteria.

There was a man in peerless white armor.

In the shadows she spied a bowman clad in forest green.

A little girl in a frilly blue dress-who might have been a Servant or a Master-also looked on eagerly.

Aha, and _now_ she glimpsed that strange fox-girl from before watching Rider with an almost longing expression.

There, towering above them all, an absolute giant of a man, one she had no intention of ever facing. That was a Berserker if she ever saw. Bloodlust radiated off him in palpable waves to turn the air sour around him; his insanity only narrowly held in check by his Master's leash. Many of the Servants gave the white-eyed titan a wide birth because of this, save for a strange kimono-clad girl with...were those horns? Truly, this War had all manner of strange Servants...

"Well blow me down," she murmured, "I didn't think he'd attract this much attention."

Cú Chulainn, for she knew this Lancer could be no other, favored her with a wry smile. "We may be Servants, but we're people, too."

"S.E.R.A.P.H. is going to have a fit over this, you now."

"Eh." the spearman shrugged. "Not my concern."

All told there were nearly a dozen assembled here; a paltry number considering the sheer breadth of the Masters, but enough to draw her eye all the same. Some certainly stood out among others, there was even a young woman in blue who looked disturbingly like that red Saber, though she vanished as Drake stared overlong.

Wait, was that actually-

"Oi, Kurama!" Naruto's voice rang out through the crowded hall. "Where'd you get off to?! We're about to start!"

"Umu~!" Nero's grand giggle seconded. "Indeed! Come here at once! Its only fitting that you witness my grand victory over this fool!"

"Fool, am I?" she couldn't see the whiskered warrior over the curious throng, but she could hear the snark in his voice all the same. "You'll eat those words!"

 **...so much for escape. Seems that's my cue."** the kitsune in question visibly deflated upon his temporary perch. **"I'll be sure to kill you later, wench. But first! Revenge~!"**

"What're you on about-YAH?!"

Even as she spoke Kurama paused, lingering just long enough to give Drake's right ear a hard nip before bounding off her shoulder with an satisfied cackle. Moments later he was lost among the bustling crowd. Now it was the pirate queen's turn to squawk. She was so startled by this sudden turn of events that she didn't even think to take a parting shot at him, much less when Lancer started laughing. A few of the less stoic Servants began to chuckle as well, rendering her face red as a rose. Cheeky little runt. She'd pay him back for that if it was the last thing she did...!

"Ha!" Her companion cackled anew with dark exultance. "Got you there, didn't he?"

Somehow, it was that remark that set Drake off.

She couldn't put her finger on the where or why; perhaps it had something to do with her fellow Servants having a feast-drinking!-without her. Perhaps she was in a foul mood after realizing her supposedly _easy prey int the first round_ wasn't the ripe pickings she'd once thought them to be. Perhaps Lancer was simply being an ass for reasons she didn't understand. Whatever the case, she found her once good humor slipping through her fingers as surely as a strong wind. Her short-lived joy turned to ashes in her mouth and she grit her teeth.

"What's wrong, Rider? Fox got your tongue?"

Rounding on the grinning Lancer she fired off a one-fingered salute.

"Bite me, dog!"

That toothy grin only grew wider.

"Ohhohoho!" he crooned. "That an invitation?"

Before she could think to stop herself, Rider shot him.

It was a very good shot she thought; even as the Hound of Ulster continued to tease her she summoned a flintlock pistol to her right hand. Her finger twitched on the trigger, loosing three shots in the blink of an eye. Yes, by the time Lancer realized that he _might_ have pushed her too far Drake had already filled his vision with lead. One for the eyes, another at the throat, and a third for his chest. Penalty be damned she was _pissed_ and she needed to kill something!

At least that had been her intention.

Instead the blue-clad warrior effortlessly interposed his spear between himself and the buckshot, swatting away each shot as though it were no more than puny pellets fired from a child's toy gun. Rather than the startling- -yet-satisfying splat as she swiped that smug smile from his leering visage she found herself yelping, hastily _ducking_ as her own bullets bounced back at her face.

"Oh that is so not fair!" she cried in a rare fit of exasperated pique, "What kind of bullshit reflex was that?!"

"Protection from arrows." he grinned cheekily. "Bullets count, apparently. Who knew?"

An awkward cough answered.

 _"I did."_

Slowly, painstakingly, Francis Drake turned her head to find all eyes on her. In her haste to evade Lancer's riposte she had never thought to consider where her scattered shots might've landed. She'd been far too riled up at the time to even consider the possibility of missing. Perhaps had she taken a moment-just a moment-to consider the consequences of her actions so, she might've avoided a great deal of unpleasantness.

Alas, it was not to be and she realized her bullets had ricocheted horribly.

Naruto had blocked the first with his hand, quietly interposing his now-bleeding palm between a startled Hakuno's and the scattered shot. The second had ricocheted off the towering giant known as Berserker-who was all but glowering at her-to lodge itself into the ceiling, wholly out of harms way. But it was the _third_ shot that truly landed the poor privateer in hot water. At first glance one might assume all was well; after all, she hadn't hit anyone with it. No harm no foul, right?

It was most assuredly not.

While it was true that her last bullet had struck neither Servant nor Master it _had_ utterly devastated one of the larger turkeys set out by the NPC waiters. Thereby nigh but spattering a warm shower of grease and meat in every direction. Naruto didn't much seem to care that he was currently covered in the slop, and that little bird he called his Master was still too shocked to offer anything in the way of a response, but they hadn't been the only victims of the culinary explosion.

 _That included a certain red Saber._

Splat.

Drake twitched.

"Rider...you...you dare...?"

Absolutely _twitched_ as Nero Claudius rose slowly from her great throne of chairs, hair dripping with grease. She stepped forward and as one, the entire crowd-Servants and their Masters alike-stepped back. Perhaps that was a bit of a misnomer. Rather, they stepped _back from Drake._ Somewhere in the background she heard her fellow Rider sigh, but that sound was wholly eclipsed by the hiss that followed. Those gentle green eyes were suddenly the poisonous shade of snake venom, an anger held in check by the thinnest leash. In hindsight, perhaps Drake should've taken that moment to run.

She did not.

"Um...it was an accident?"

Growling, Nero slowly wiped grease from her face.

"Of course, Rider, you do realize...this means WAAAAAAAAAAAR!"

Drake raised her hands, watching that ancient fury roar high in the emperor's eyes.

"Stop stop stop! Now wait just a second, missy! I didn't mean to to that! Lancer was the one who-

Her words fell on deaf ears; for a pudding pie sailed across the room to impact her headlong in the mouth. Sputtering the pirate queen fought her way upright and hastily dabbed at her face only for a second and a third and _a fourth_ to find her with all the accuracy of a master archer. What the hell?! That wasn't even her class!

 _"Hey!"_

"Ha!" Naruto crowed. "Serves you right!"

Unfortunately this snide remark earned him a far harsher treatment in the eyes of Saber. The words had scarcely left his mouth before a freshly roast _goose_ rammed into his unprotected shoulders. The impact hurled him forward into poor Hakuno and both Master and Servant alike went down in a yelping tangle of arms and legs. Had that been it, their little squabble would've died a premature death on the floor and the Moon Cell would've been spared a great deal of...cleaning in the aftermath that followed.

Then one of his clones took it into its head to avenge the original and returned fire with a cry of: _"En garde!"_

Splat.

Nero shrieked as a peach detonated against the bosom of her dress and flailed spectacularly at the stain spreading there. Her lower lip trembled-actually trembled!-and for a moment, Drake wondered if she might actually burst into tears. Then something gave way in her those wide emerald eyes and brandished a bread-stick at him.

 _"Fiend!"_ she wailed!" How could you?! That was my favorite dress! Have at thee!"

The clone merely cackled and riposted in kind. "To the death, then!"

"Umu! To war~!"

Even then no one thought to turn tail and run the other way. Why should they? It was like watching a galleon wreck itself against a reef, you knew it was bad and you _knew_ you needed to get out of there, but you simply couldn't look away. Oh, a few of the Servants-and a certainly holy knight-realized what was about to happen but such entertainment was few and far between. Naruto-the original-took the opportunity to drag his Master behind a table, but not before handing her a pilfered pear.

Which promptly sailed out of the fray and struck Drake in the face. "Again?!"

"Every man for himself!"

With her face still covered foodstuffs, Drake never saw Lancer's brimming grin. She never saw him snatch up a nearby mug of fresh ale. She certainly didn't see him dash it against the back a certain Archer's head. Nor did she see said Archer lob a watermelon back at the blue knight. Somehow not only did he miss, but he managed to strike the one observer he shouldn't have.

A low, mindless growl rumbled through the room and all went still.

With a wordless roar Berserker seized on the first item he found and upended an entire bucket of broth onto the shoulders of the nearest Servant.

"Why me?!" Robin cried!

Drake recovered just in time to snatch up a ham from the floor lest someone fling it at her, only for a tomato to splatter against her rear. She rounded on the source, only to find a familiar shock of blond hair peeking over an upturned table.

"NARUTO!"

"You'll never take me alive!"

From there everything spiraled out of control. Servant turned against Servant, Master against Master. Some had the wherewithal to duck their heads and take cover against the storm, while a few chose to flee rather than be dragged into the mess. Others joined in with relish, eager for a chance to vent their frustrations and air long-nursed grudges against their enemies.

The food fight-war!-that followed would be spoke of with both reverence and horror in the years to come. A spectacle so grand that not only did it spill out into the confines of the school itself, but it became such that the whole of S.E.R.A.P.H. would spend weeks cleaning up thereafter.

"I changed my mind! I LOVE this war!"

Yes, it was nothing short of absolute chaos.

Francis Drake reveled in every glorious moment of it.

 **A/N: Had to save the Rani and combat bits for next chapter, given the focus on Drake here.**

 **And there we go.**

 **HA!**

 **Felt fun to give into madness and let all hell break loose.**

 **Pain isn't fun.**

 **Pain of the heart, pain of the soul, pain in general. Reviews keep me writing, feedback even more so. Without them its hard to keep myself coming back; health woes and other issues aside, I've been around this site for more than a decade now, and it breaks my heart to see people leaving in droves. But me? I'm here to stay. Until I draw my last breath. Until my body is dust.**

 **So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **It really hurts when I bust my ass writing long chapters for you guys and gals only to get...well...nothing...**

 **...hope you enjoy the previews!**

 **Potential ones at any rate...**

 **...and one of them...well...**

 **GET READY TO CRY.**

 **(Previews)**

 _...I can see them, you know."_

 _"Why, whatever do you mean, Rider?_

 _"You're seriously going to make me say it?!"_

 _"Umu!" Nero beamed. "Not so! Rather, I allow people to see them!"_

* * *

 _This was a dream._

 _Hakuno knew it must be so; because she didn't remember having it._

 _Perched upon a towering fox the size of a mountain, Rider regarded her. So too did his mount, as though she were naught but a mote of dust beneath his boot. There was something...strange about his gaze, a high and wild joy that sent a small shiver through her. Yet there was no familiarity to be seen there in his gaze and that terrified her all the more._

 _Naruto clicked his tongue._

 ** _"You shouldn't be here, kiddo."_**

 _And her world erupted into unholy flame._

* * *

 _"A truce?! On school grounds?! Are you kidding me?!" Naruto tore at his hair in a rare moment of exasperation. "Grah, this is ridiculous! Why don't they just let us fight the way we want?!"_

 _"I know right?!" Robin Hood seconded, flinging up his hands in exasperation as he tore into the meal. "If it weren't for my old geezer or your little chick of a master this would've been much easier!"_

 _"Exactly! What place does honor have on the battlefield, oi?!"_

 _"Precisely! Just let us fight to our hearts content, man!"_

 _Both men shared a startled look of realization._

 _"Did we just become best friends?"_

 _"Bah, why the hell not?!"_

 _Kurama groaned._

 _"Great..._

* * *

 _Hakuno willed her fingers into a fist._

 _"I'm not afraid...!"_

* * *

 _He bowed, low and deep before her._

 _"These fists of mine are yours; now, until the end of time. Through endless lifetimes. I am yours."_

 _Hakuno's eyes._

 _Got._

 _Really._

 _BIG._

 **R &R~! =D**


	5. First Selection (Part IV)

**A/N: (EDITS AHOY! Added some stuff, polished up dialogue, and threw in more content~!)**

 **Big author's note here, feel free to skip it if you like.**

 **So very tired...this chapter...mind of its own...kept growing...AND GROWING...**

 **MORE THAN TEN THOUSAND WORDS FOR YOU ALL!**

 **...why is it dark outside? Pretty sure it was morning when I started this...**

 **In any case, I didn't want to impulsive and post this when it was incomplete. I wanted to take my time and finish off the first round properly.**

 **Disclaimer!**

 **I own no references, nor dialogue related to Fate Extra or its other affiliated properties. Its merely lifted from the game. ESPECIALLY regarding Shinji and Rani, including Drake toward the end. Furthermore, this chapter is jam-packed with just about all the good stuff, romance, chaos, humor, death, you name it** **!**

 **Weren't expecting an update this soon, were you?! Surprise!**

 **I DID say that the last chapter was merely half of the greater whole did I not?**

 **On another note I'm pleased to see that everyone enjoyed the little food fight, I wasn't expecting to get that many reviews!**

 **Now, onto your questions, comments, and concerns!**

 **Q: My biggest complaints about this chapter is that you seem to be treating Shinji like he is Fate incarnation, whereas per WoG Shinji in Extra is actually a good person, if with a crappy attitude. His biggest issue is that he's 11 year old genius hacker who has no idea that the Moon Cell isn't some super-VR game.**

 **A:** ***Sighs deeply***

 **He's eight, actually. And that DOES NOT excuse his behavior. He isn't remotely kind or useful until the events of CCC and EVEN THEN he's a right and proper dick until that point. In Extra? He's a downright ass, one who refused to accept defeat right until the bitter end. Worse, when he beats you, he openly mocks you for dying. I should know, I picked up the game for the sole purpose of my research into this story. I'll grant that Shinji may not know the true nature of the Holy Grail War, and may even tolerate his Servant, but that's no reason to give him preferential treatment.**

 **Q: Can Kurama fight?**

 **A: Yes, but...well. Lets just say he needs space to do battle. Confined spaces are NOT his thing. This chapter explains it.**

 **Q: I see you, boi! I know what you're plotting for next chapter...and kudos to you for it!**

 **A: Why, thank you! To address your earlier concern. Command Spells CAN be taken too, but its complicated. It requires consent-forced or otherwise-from the party losing the spells. After all, Sola did it-through great effort-in Fate Zero. Furthermore, in this war, you can only use two and need to hold one in reserve. If you lose all three-BAM! You're gone, done, deleted out of the war.**

 **So don't expect little Hakuno to give hers up willingly.**

 **Q: Hakuno's coming out of her shell isn't she?**

 **A: Indeed she is and this is only the beginning of something grand.**

 **Q: Seems Drake's got an eye for Naruto...?**

 **A: Lets just say they mesh well together given their personalities. They're both the sort to live as they please, not caring what others think of them. Drake, even more so. After all, why would a pirate care what a few rogue Servants thought of her? She's the sort to throw herself headlong into anything she does and consequences be damned.**

 **Q: TAMAMO WHEN?!**

 **A: TAMAMO SOON!**

 **Q: Ahaha! I noticed a few extra Servants in the last chapter! Was that intentional?**

 **A: *Whistles innocently***

 **Q: Are you deliberately concealing the Masters?**

 **A: Yes, that's intentional on my part. I think we all know who Tamamo's master is, but Nero...well. I ain't telling.**

 **Q: Clever of you, keeping Shinji out of the loop with the injury. At least this way we don't have to deal with him. I WANNA STRANGLE THE LITTLE BASTARD!**

 **A: You know what they say, being Shinji is suffering.**

 **I'll keep injuring him too, if it keeps people happy! Believe it or not, _this_ Shinji is actually nicer than his Fate Stay Night counterpart. Younger, too. Alas, in the games he doesn't really do anything to help our dear protagonist until the events of CCC. Even then, dealing with him didn't leave a good taste in my mouth. I felt pity towards the other Masters to be sure, but Shinji? I was just glad to get him gone and not deal with him anymore.**

 **Worry not, his time in this chapter is brief, and then he's done.**

 **Q: What kind of direction can we expect here?**

 **A: If you expect this to fully follow the games...you're going to be surprised. After all, what's the point of a story if it tells the tale of what already happened?**

 **Now then!**

 **TO BATTLE WE GO!**

 **Angry pirates are scary pirates~!**

 **Obvious references are obvious and I own nothing!**

 _"Sheesh! How in blazes are you still moving?!"_

 _"Because we are legends, you and I! DO YOU HEAR ME DRAKE?! Legends! Heroes? Villains? Good? Evil? What do those words mean to us? Nothing! We're beyond that! Believe me when I say that nothing short of chopping off my head is going to kill me; and I'll be damned if I expect any less of you! Now! Bring out your cannons, el Draque! Call down your Armada! Unfurl your sails! I'll take all that you have and sink it! Now...COME!"_

 _...you know, in another life, you'd have made a good first mate."_

 ** _"Less talking more shooting!"_**

 _"Aye-aye, roger wilco!"_

 _~?_

 **First Selection (Part IV)**

Drake encountered him again in the labyrinth...

...but not in the manner she expected.

No, not at all.

In theory, a Servant _could_ enter the maze without their Master. The reverse was also true; any Master with even meager potential could use this opportunity the hone their skills. To become stronger than what they once were; to address their shortcomings and failures. This was the Moon Cell and the impossible became possible here. Most, however, simply didn't feel the need.

Why should they?

For a Master to venture into the maze without a Servant was tantamount to a death sentence; if only because of the vicious programs lurking within. The reverse was also true. No self-serving Servant worth their salt had the least desire to wander these corridors and train alone, if only because doing so would demean them. Be beneath them. Even that so-called holy knight had his pride; Drake certainly hadn't seen _him_ enter the labyrinth without his Master.

It wasn't as if there were any reward to be gained in doing so beyond experience. After all during any given round one could-and often would-only ever find their chosen opponent for said round lurking within. Battle was permitted here, albeit in a limited three minute scope.

Such were the ironclad rules of S.E.R.A.P.H. and so they would remain until the system deemed otherwise. Staking out the competition was useless here. Unless your Noble Phantasm involved some sort of arena trap that lingered after you departed the labyrinth-and she knew a few-then it was wholly useless to linger here. Of course, it was important to acquire the "Triggers" for each round and thus many ventured in regardless of the danger...

"No, no, no!" Naruto's voice rose in admonishment as she skirted the corner, "Not like that! Put your back into it!"

"I'm trying!" answered the soft, petulant whine. "Will the two of you ease up?!"

 **"Do or do not, young padawan!"** Kurama crowed. **"There is no try!"**

"Don't you DARE throw that reference of me, furball!"

For someone so keen on kicking up chaos, Rider was quite capable of ducking out when it suited him. She hadn't been surprised when he spirited away his Master in the aftermath and brought her here. The poor thing had almost no battle sense whatsoever, and it was important to rectify that. Servants couldn't truly "level up" in the digital sense of the word, but their saint graphs and cyber frames _could_ be adjusted. Thus, it didn't come as a shock when she happened upon one Hakuno Kishinami and her Servant within...

...no, wait. She told a lie. It was actually quite the shock.

She nearly gasped outright and gave herself away, only managing to skirt backwards at the last moment.

Propped up against a nearby wall, Naruto and Kurama weren't fighting at all. Rather, they looked on proudly as their tenacious Master-sheathed in a strange red shroud-wrestle a horned program to the ground and break its neck with a great struggle. It baffled her. Why make that little squirrel fight? Was he trying to prepare her for combat? With only a few days left? And how could someone so _tiny_ pull a stunt like that? It likely had something to do with that fell cloak she was wearing...but why was Rider clapping?

"Marvelous!" Naruto crowed in faux english. "Now do it again!"

Rather than rejoice, the little brunette flopped onto her back with a groan at his mockery.

"Again?!" her timid voice rose in a petulant whine. "We've been at this for hours now! You're killing meeeee~!"

"Better me than Drake!" the blond clicked his tongue at her in mild admonishment. "Now again! _Without_ the cloak this time!"

"Slave driver!" Hakuno flailed on the floor like a petulant child, flinging accusations at him as she rolled back and forth. "Backbiter! Unfair unfair _unfair!"_

 **...I think we broke her."**

Roaring laughter answered Kurama.

"What? We've only been at this for twelve hours!"

Aghast, the female Rider could only look on with horrified amusement.

It would be the simplest thing to shoot Naruto in the back now; to strike while his guard was down. One barrage from her cannons ought to do it. She would unleash her Noble Phantasm and wipe him out before he could even think about fighting back. He couldn't possibly protect himself and his Master at the same time. Yet she couldn't bring herself to do it. No, She didn't _have_ to fight him here. There was no one here to force her hand. Not today at any rate, given Shinji was still...convalescing from his...new injures.

Quite a pity, really.

He had been so close to recovering from his earlier wound...then he'd fallen and dashed his head against a cabinet. A very _hard_ cabinet. From what she'd been told, he might not recover until the seventh day. Perhaps not even then. How convenient. If she didn't know better, she would've thought Naruto was actively running interference on her part. No. Surely not. What could he possibly have to gain by separating them? She needed to kill him. _She had to._ Especially when one considered the alternative. No. It was just a bump in the road. Something to shake her expectations. She would have to kill him of course,

And yet his smile stilled her.

Bah! What was she, some blushing maiden?!

In the end, Francis Drake never found her answer.

Blue eyes snapped towards her hiding place but rather than call her out, the blond merely grinned and waded into the fray before a nearby program could think to dispatch his exhausted mistress. A quick swipe of his hand dispelled the cloak from Hakuno's prone form, another plucked his tiny master from the ground to sling her over his shoulder and the third...well.

"Fine!" Hakuno's Rider declared. "My turn!"

For all his silver tongue the whiskered Rider proved himself quite capable in the realm of combat as hordes of enemy programs descended upon him. Rather than retreat Rider palmed and kunai and bounded forward with a loud whoop of joy, heedless of Hakuno's quiet yelp as she held on for dear life. Drake nearly reached for one of her pistols, concerned by what she thought to be little more than a suicidal rush. She needn't have feared for him. Even with only one arm available to him the enemies before them were swept aside like wheat from chaff.

An irate program found its head stove in by a vicious kick, only to be used as a springboard as Rider leaped away.

Still airborne he flicked the kunai he'd been clutching at one of the larger viruses-Drake had a heartbeat to glimpse the strange paper attached to its hilt-before kicking off a wall and lunging into the ensuing blast of heat and flame that followed. Framed by the subsequent explosion the whiskered warrior landed in a pointed crouch, smashing a clawed hand through the vertical torso of another would-be contender even as scythed his legs out and caught two more on the backswing. Unfortunately in doing so he whipped poor Hakuno about like a rag doll. Needless to say, the poor girl was less than amused.

"How are you doing this?!"

The blond seemed to relish in the combat, even if his Master did not.

"Ninja, remember!" The Red Rider crowed as they vaulted away. "If I couldn't do something like this I'd be an embarrassment to my village! Now! Point me at the next enemy, Master!"

"I'm tryyyyyyyyyying~!" she wailed. "Stop flailing around!"

From her vantage point, Drake had a prime view of the girl's green face. Poor thing. At the end of the day, she was only human. Last she'd checked, the human body _did not_ appreciate being tossed every which way. Least of all with a stubborn kitsune clinging onto it for dear life.

"Urk...I think I'm going to be sick...

The next program fool enough to approach them found itself shredded by a strange spiraling sphere of sorts stemming from Naruto's hand; bits of data scattered about on the wind. Even as his first fist drove forward he reached back with the other, deftly hauling Hakuno further onto his shoulder and out of harms way before she could tumble off his back. Again he pivoted and _again_ his gaze held hers despite the distance between them, despite her doubts, despite everything. Then that startling grin flashed out and he flung himself back into the fray, his Master hanging off him like a half-forgotten coat. _That_ dispelled the last of Drake's doubts. He knew she was watching them. He _knew_ and even still, he persisted in this farce.

Blond bastard was showing off.

"Hmmph! Useless, useless, useless!" he vanished in a gold streak and reappeared moments later, cackling like a madman. "You can't touch me!"

Hakuno took a long moment to sigh-and stifle he rising gorge-as her Servant bowled through a fresh wave of enemies. With both arms free he opted to forgo the convoluted combos he'd been playing at. Now? He crashed through anyone and everything in his-their!-way. Even slung over his shoulder like a sack of wheat the little brunette still managed to radiate waves of visible embarrassment. Had she known she was playing host to an audience, that humiliation would've intensified tenfold. As things stood, it already took all of her strength just to cling onto his shoulders and keep herself from being flung off in her entirety.

...where do you even _get_ these references from anyway?" she murmured.

 **"What can I say?"** Kurama flashed her a roguish grin. **"Grail's thrown a few of them at us. Next enemy!"**

"I can't find anything if I fall off!" the brunette yelped as a particularly vicious leap rattled her to her bones. "Put me down already!"

Naruto flicked her a sidelong glance and paused just long enough to sling her up onto the back of his neck. Suddenly secure Hakuno saw her opportunity and seized it like a drowning woman; small fingers grabbed hold of his thick mane for all she was worth, just as he surged forward again. From there she found she had a rather comfortable vantage point; indeed, it now fell to her to call out enemy programs wherever she saw them. She silently suspected Naruto and Kurama already knew where to find them, but it gave her frazzled mind something to, something to distract her, and for that, the young Master was inordinately grateful.

"Better?"

...not that she'd ever tell him that.

Hakuno wrinkled her nose at him, refusing to admit it.

"Fine, just don't start spouting nonsense on me out of the blue-

 _"MudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudamudaMUDA!_

As if waiting for that very reply Naruto launched himself at the next program and flung his body into a mad flurry of blows.

"DO NOT!"

In the chaos of shouting and muffled curses that hastened on the heels of _that_ remark, no one heard Francis Drake cackle. If Naruto did, he didn't raise any objections. It was the simplest thing to follow in their wake and make sure nothing...untoward happened. Deluding herself proved another matter. Try as she might, the faintest thorn of guilt pricked at her as she followed in their footsteps. Idiot. Stupid girl. Fool of a wench. This was her _chance!_ Even if Naruto knew she was lurking, his Master was still weak! One shot through the back of her head would do the deed and she'd be done with it!

No, she wasn't doing anything wrong by observing them she told herself; no, not at all.

She didn't even begin to question herself until the following day.

Seven seas, what had she gotten herself into?

* * *

 _(...02020...)_

* * *

 _When had she come undone?_

For all her bravery and bountiful boasting Francis Drake found that she'd lost her nerve. She wasn't smitten-certainly not if she had anything to say about it!-but neither could it be said that she remained steadfast in her resolve as she'd once been. Killing him was still her duty, yet now she found it a bitter one. Thus, she was undone. She rather liked Naruto; he had a certain way about him, a roguish charisma that reminded her of better days, of sails and the seven seas. He was wild and fierce and he was _going to kill her if this kept up._

Or she would kill him.

Still, it was the only option going forward. If she did not end him then he would doubtlessly slay her in turn. No two ways about it. There was no way around this. They _had_ to fight and that fight required a definite victor; if not S.E.R.A.P.H. might well delete them both out of hand. But for some reason her very soul cried out against the idea of striking Naruto down! Why?! She already knew the answer. She liked him. She wanted to raise hell with him, drink to all manner of stupid things, and, quite simply, cause as much trouble as she could. It was in her nature to be drawn to like-minded spirits and loathe though she might be to admit it, they were very much alike.

In all fairness, she tried to avoid him as long as possible.

As ever, her nature betrayed her.

No surprise, there.

It should've been a simple matter of lurking in the Infirmary with Shinji; or, barring that, simply remaining in her spiritual form to conserve energy. The former proved impossible within an hour-if only because her Master was utterly insensate and she found herself bored out of her mind with no one to keep her company beyond the nurse. There was something...strange about that one, but she just couldn't put her finger on it. No, Francis Drake had never been the sort to rest on her laurels, even in her living days. Her second life as Servant proved just as troubling.

So.

Hiding it was then. Good. She could do that.

Until she suddenly _couldn't_ because that didn't work either!

The school grounds were certainly large enough in that regard. If someone didn't want to be found then they wouldn't be. Some Servants simply elected to remain astral for the sake of privacy until needed and in doing so thereby removed the possibility of conflict altogether. Drake couldn't bear to do this if only because it was so damned uncomfortable for her; she craved a deck beneath her boots, or barring that, solid ground. Without any such surface underfoot she grew quite restless indeed.

To her credit she managed to keep to herself for an entire day.

For a full twenty-four hours the pirate queen managed to utterly elude Hakuno Kishinami and her troublesome Servant. They made no attempt to look for her and she certainly didn't go looking for trouble. Loathe though she was to do so, she spent much of that time in astral form, hiding away in obscure places like the library or the cafeteria even as her pride prickled against her cowardice.

Good on her.

 _But she still failed._

Quite spectacularly at that.

Everything came to a head late in the afternoon, just as she'd slipped by a Master and their Servant. The latter was a great mountain of a man bearing equally great scars upon his body, twin swords dragging harshly upon the round in his wake. Oddly enough, it was this seemingly harmless encounter that finally pushed her boiling emotions over the edge. Why should _they_ be able to strut about without a worry or care?! Why shouldn't she?!

"That tears it!"

In a rare fit of pique Drake chose to resume her physical form right then and there with that very shout, much to their surprise.

"Just who the hell does that blond bastard think he is!?" she shouted at no one in particular. "Make a coward of me, will he?! I'll keelhaul him for this!"

"Nice temper you've got there! Use it well!" The hulking swordsman-also a blond, some small distant part of her noted-merely laughed at her abrupt outburst and kept walking without a care in the world. His female master scurried after him with a cry of "Berserker! Wait!" before Drake could get a good look at her. She found herself reminded of a little grey mouse hiding in the shadow of a much larger predator. Had that been the sole consequence of her actions, she might've been able to slip back into anonymity with relative ease.

It was not.

Little did Drake realize she had manifested at the worst possible time; no sooner did the brash blond berserker round the northern corner than _another_ blond came barreling down the opposite end of the hall. Alas, _this one_ recognized her almost immediately, gave a loud cry of triumph, and made a beeline for her straight away. Damnit. For a fleeting second, she almost believed he'd let her be-

This time her fellow Rider called her bluff spectacularly. "Heya, Francis! Or should I just call you Drake?"

For once in her life, the pirate actually froze. _"Drake?"_ she choked on the word. "How did you...?"

"Did I stutter?" he shouted back. "Don't go anywhere! Wanna talk to you!"

Although Naruto had glibly given her both his name and class upon their first meeting, Drake had never told him _her_ name. That he suddenly knew it without being told...damnation. That didn't bode well. Moreover, at his side Hakuno looked almost resigned to meet her-after all, she'd almost been shot but there could be no mistaking the small, rueful smile adorning her lips. Judging by her somewhat frazzled appearance Draka hazarded a guess at what she'd been up to; she looked as though she'd just come straight from a hard fought battle with something viciously unpleasant. Worse it looked as though she'd _won_ against whatever it was.

For some reason that set the Rider even more ill at ease.

Even Naruto looked livelier than before; the spark in those baby blue eyes was now a roaring flame, one that threatened to swallow her whole. She could still sense the thread of prana connecting to him to his master, but that once desperate drip of mana had evolved into a babbling brook. Lovely. He'd likely gotten a few of his skills back as a result. Not enough to concern her, but enough to take notice all the same. They'd clearly been a busy bunch of bees when she wasn't looking. Not that she was looking mind you, nor was she concerned...nope!

Not in the least!

Oh, who was she kidding?! She _was_ concerned! _Very_ concerned! Anything that had those two smiling was probably bad news for her! Given time and proper conditioning they would become stronger yet and that would only make matters worse. Her fellow Rider was clearly spoiling for a fight, if not in the traditional sense, then another.

Belatedly, she realized they weren't alone.

At a distance she hadn't seen the newcomer. Hakuno was ever on Naruto right as expected, but on his left...no, hiding _behind_ him...

"Who the hell is this?"

She found herself gazing down at a young girl who appeared to be of Indian descent. Hers was a blank face with startling violet eyes framed by glasses and wavy light purple hair tied into a half ponytail. Her out proved far too eccentric even for Drake to consider wearing; with its varying hues of white and blue, golden bracelets, and nearly exposed chest. A pair black tight shorts and white-purple stockings complete the strange getup, giving the pirate queen a prime view of those long legs, and _well...!_

Hey, the kid could wear what she wanted. She was the last person to judge. And yet...

...why do I have a bad feeling about this?" she finished with a growl.

To her dismay, the girl actually bowed.

"Good day."

That mechanical voice, that expression...it was like speaking to a doll. A lifelike doll perhaps, one designed and built to look a like a human, but a doll nevertheless. Something deep inside of her recoiled at the knowledge lurking behind that placid gaze. Here was someone who knew far too much for her own good-who had ways of divining information that Drake didn't truly understand-an unexpected reef for her bravado to breach against, an unseen

"This here's Rani." Naruto beamed, patting the smaller girl on the back like a proud parent. "She helped us find out quite a bit about you while you resting on your laurels."

 _'I was not!'_ Drake wanted to shout, to denounce him, but her fellow Rider brutally beat her to the punch.

"I think you know why we're here, Rider." the quiet steel in Naruto's voice cut into her like a knife.

"Dunno what you're talking about." She feigned ignorance with a sniff.

"You're none other than Francis Drake, the woman who destroyed Spain's Invincible Armada. Aren't you? By all means, deny it." his grin only grew when she didn't and her silent dread mounted as a toothy smile split his whiskered face. "Otherwise known as El Draque to your enemies. The woman who brought down the sun. Second to circumnavigate the globe. You're of the Rider class, like me. Your flagship is none other than the Golden Hind and likely one of your Noble Phantasms at that. Did I leave anything out?"

A moment of awkward silence passed between the two.

Drake's arm snapped back to strike him.

Then, incredibly, Naruto exhaled.

 _"Aaand_ since I just revealed your life story to the world like a complete and utter asshole, here's mine." In defiance of everyone's expectations, he ripped both hands from his pockets and folded them behind his head, smiling like a man facing the gallows. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto. You know that much already. Might as well tell you the rest. Loudmouth shinobi, wannabe Hokage, and a failure of a friend. No weapons to speak of, I fight primarily with my fists and Kurama, who just so happens to be my main Noble Phantasm. There." he clapped his hands together sharply. "Now we're even."

Her arm dropped like a wet noodle.

Kurama turned positively livid. **"BOY!"**

"Rider!" Hakuno exclaimed, aghast. "Why?!"

Even Rani blinked, silently taken aback by this turn of events.

"What?!" he scoffed in the face of them all, thumbing his nose. "I couldn't just spill all her info like that! Fair's fair! Now we can have an honorable match!"

Kurama _lunged_ from Hakuno's shoulder and promptly proceeded to throttle his partner. **"This is a war, you dolt! There's no such thing as honor! Has the Grail taught you nothing?!"**

"I've learned plenty, furball!" the blond snapped back, childishly sticking out his tongue in blatant defiance of the fox's fury. "What I choose to do with it is my concern! If I'm going to fight her then it'll be on fair terms! If you don't like it then stay out of the fight!"

 **"Keep this up and I just might!"**

"Bah! Go play with the girls and let the grown-ups talk will ya?!" Exasperated the blond retaliated the only way he knew how; rather than strangle his lifelong partner-and he looked like he wanted to-he simply snatched him up and flung him headlong into Hakuno. The startled brunette flailed for a moment before catching him, and with a muffled apology to Rani, withdrew to a reluctant distance, likely in an attempt to give them privacy.

Drake felt no such inclination.

The moment they'd fallen out of earshot her arm whipped back with explosive force and cannoned into the right side of Naruto's face.

 _"Idiot!"_

She expected him to block it or dodge out of hand; or barring that, strike back at her in recompense for her temerity. Much to her chagrin the Red Rider took the hit without protest, his face snapping to the opposite side. He grunted, staggered. Silently offered the other cheek. So she slapped that one, too. When next Naruto turned his face she realized he hadn't been vulnerable at all-he'd _allowed_ her to hit him. Serene golden eyes with slanted pupils gazed back at her and to her dismay Drake realized _she'd actually hurt herself_ by striking him. Even now her squished fingers throbbed in sullen protest.

When she moved to strike him again, he finally intercepted her at last, snagging her by the wrist.

"Satisfied?"

Scoffing, she ripped her limb away.

No. She wasn't. Not in the least. Something about that honesty of his infuriated her; it struck a sullen chord somewhere deep within her rotten soul. Was it pride? Did he think himself better than her; that he would be able to beat her even with his identity revealed? Or was he simply that naive? His full name didn't ring any _particular_ bells beyond what had been provided by the Grail, but the fact that he'd openly revealed himself to her in full view of others against his Master's wishes resonated with her, making her feel filthy for thinking to use that Master against him. Moreso that she would likely still go through with it, given the chance...

"Why'd you tell me all that, huh?!" she growled, seizing him by the scruff of the neck. "You know I'll only use it against you, don't you?!"

Naruto considered her for a long moment before his head bobbed. "I know."

Genuinely at a loss, she didn't resist when he wriggled free of her.

 _"I'd be furious if you didn't!"_

As she looked on those strange golden orbs faded back to their true blue, but her shame remained. Something told her that Naruto must've died young before he became a Servant; not simply due to his viewpoint, but rather the singular focus of his worldview. In his eyes he viewed battled as something to be avoided; and if it couldn't be avoided, then let it be as fair as possible. Why else would he bend over backwards to make things easier for her?

"I can't change who I am." A small, miserable smile flashed out at her. "I hate people who lie to themselves. What would that make me if I did the same?"

"Why me, then?" refusing to let the matter drop, the piratess bodily-blocked him when he tried to squeeze past. "You must have a reason beyond that. I barely even know you, yet you've gone out of your way to help me not once, but twice! Why?!" To her confusion-and later delight-the blond actually blinked at that and averted his gaze. What was he muttering to himself? Something about redheads? Trying to press the matter only made him clamp down all the more.

In the end he actually laughed at that sullen remark.

"Because you remind me of somebody I used to know. In another life we might've gotten along." With that low blow he snapped of a small salute and turned to leave. "For what its worth, I really didn't want to kill you, so I thought I'd give you a fighting chance-

 _"Waitwaitwait!"_ A new voice cried out in a rush, catching him flatfooted. "You there with the handsome soul! Stooooooop~!"

Both Rider's turned as one as someone dashed down the stairs.

Hmm. Perhaps that was another misnomer. To say "dash" would've implied that said newcomer actually ran downstairs. They didn't. This one all but _somersaulted_ the last of the steps with flawless grace, bounding forward to alight in a pointed crouch near a somewhat startled Naruto. Before the blond could even think to offer the slightest syllable of protest they-she!-seized him by his shoulders.

"What are you thinking?!" she cried, shaking him like a rag doll! "Idiot! Fool! Imbecile! What manner of Servant goes willingly to their own death?!"

Any severity his words might've held vanished in the moment.

"What." Naruto deadpanned flatly.

"The hell." Drake finished.

Her kimono was certainly...unique. Yes. Unique. That. She looked as though she would fall out of the tiny little blue number any moment. Of course, that did nothing to distract from her ephemeral beauty. Those bright eyes, framed by flowing pink hair, a body many would gladly kill for. She was rather reminded of...oh blast, what was the word again? The Grail-given information she'd been supplied with offered it readily enough when she reached for it. A courtesan? Drake hadn't seen one of her like in an age. Certainly not...whatever-whomever-this Servant was. Were those fox-ears? Jutting out of her hair? Was that a tail?!

"I cannot believe what I just heard!" The latter was positively thrashing in agitation. "In all my time as a Caster I've never heard such nonsense! Why would you want to die for that seaweed brat?! Tell me at once!"

The duo each exchanged a dumbfounded look between one another. "Seaweed?"

"I meant that blue-haired runt with an ego the size of mars!"

Several floors below, Shinji gave a mighty sneeze.

Drake slapped a hand over her mouth and silently amended her opinion of the woman.

A high end courtesan, then.

On a certain level she knew she should be defending herself, much less her Master's honor. But that remark proved too much for her to handle. Despite her very best efforts a snicker still slipped out of her, which of course spurred Naruto to do the same, _which in turn_ led to a giggle, followed by a mad cackle as the latter threw her head back as she sagged against the nearest wall and clutched at her aching sides. Seriously- _seaweed?!_ It was too much. The damn broke and she could contain herself no longer. That did it. She gave up.

"I...you...I can't...ha!"

In her flickering peripherals she was distantly aware of Naruto promising Caster something, reassuring the irate pinkette that he was very much trying _not_ to die, but she couldn't care less. The fraying thread of her sanity had snapped at long last and as such Whatever it was must've been grand indeed, for the kitsune-like maiden all but skipped away. Only then did Drake trust herself to speak and not dissolve into a fit of giggling. Damnit, she hadn't known she needed that. It felt...freeing. To simply laugh at the world, consequences be damned.

...right. See you tomorrow then." Naruto sighed, pushing a hand through his hair. "May the best Servant win?"

Incredibly, he even went so far as to offer that very palm to her, fingers extended.

At a loss, Drake could only shake his hand-and herself-in mild dismay.

"I _am_ going to kill you. You realize that, don't you?"

A rogue grin flashed out at her. "We'll see."

How little she knew.

How little indeed.

* * *

 _(...03030...)_

* * *

When the time finally came Drake didn't fight it.

There could be no escaping their destiny; the Moon Cell had spoken. Nothing would change its ind. They were meant to do battle. One would die. The other would live. One would fall. The other would ascend. Though she might well loathe the idea of killing Naruto now, the alternative was unacceptable. She wouldn't die just so he could live. She wasn't that sort of girl. Whatever strange feelings had bloomed between them, they simply were't meant to be. Their battle would be short and swift; neither had the least desire to drag out the others suffering. Such a damn shame. Perhaps they'd meet again in another life.

If the memories of this War lingered in the Throne.

If they weren't all deleted outright.

If one survived their final battle.

If she remembered him.

 _If._

The thought made her restless, nearly set her to shaking as she followed her Master into the elevator.

Shinji had indeed recovered-if only just-enough to do battle, though she doubted his ability to hold up in a fair fight. She'd had to secure the two triggers on her own, and with great effort at that. Brat better be grateful to her for all the work she'd done. If she survived this he'd be paying extra, she would see to that herself!

Down into the abyss they went, one to each side, Master and Servant alike.

Were it not for the thin barrier between them, she suspected they might've come to blows then and there.

Hakuno remained unreadable as ever, a little chick watched over by the soaring falcon that was Naruto, a protective guardian prepared to shred anyone who dared do her harm.

Not so Shinji.

Her Master obviously felt the need to assert his dominance given how long he'd been out of sorts, for he spoke first:

"Look who didn't chicken out and run away." he sneered, directing all his spite and vitriol toward the one target he believed would never fight back. "Oooh right, I forgot following directions is all you're good at. Get a clue, huh? You're no match for us! Never in a million years are you going to defeat me. Shoulda ran away when you had the chance!"

Drake expected Hakuno to wilt, or at the very least, take offense. Instead she found only pity from the little brunette.

The small smile that bloomed back at her was all too familiar. "I won't know until I try."

Shinji jerked back with a hiss as though he'd been struck.

"Excuse me?" Her simple reply aggravated him more than any taunt every could. "When did you grow a spine? Did you forget you never got the best of me at school, like, ever? How many times do you _plebes_ have to be reminded that you'll never be on the level of a genius like me?! But, I guess I better get used to it, since nobody here can defeat me!"

Drake silently rolled her eyes as he continued to rant unimpeded. He might be her Master, but the kid talked far too much for his own good. Hmph. Made him a decent villain at least...

"My Servant El Draque and I are completely invincible." When Rider didn't contest this, the blue-haired boy took it as an admittance of fact. "Man, you have some seriously shitty luck to have gotten paired with ME in the first round. Don't worry, since wer'e such good friends I'll make sure you go out with a big-

 **"BANG!"**

Naruto's fist slammed into the glass between them like a sledgehammer, shattering the barrier like brittle glass and causing the boy to jump in the same instant. For a fleeting instant Drake thought he might cross over to their side, take Shinji by the throat and-

 **"Do shut up, boy."** Kurama drawled, dispelling that surprisingly pleasant thought. **"Idiots like you give me indigestion."**

Shinji's face grew pallid. "Wha?! How dare you speak about me like that! You're just a Servant!"

 **"And you're just a snack."** the fox waved a paw.

"Quiet, rat!"

Surprisingly it was Hakuno who stiffened at this remark. "Shinj, for once in your life...stop talking. Now."

Perhaps she ought to say something, lest the little brunette take matters into her own hands."

"Ha!" her laughter sounded forced, even to her own ears. "They have a point, Master."

"Hey!" Shinji squawked. "Whose side are you on, Rider?!"

"Your side, of course." Drake preened, heedless of the repulsive look her response garnered her from her fellow Servant. "You paid me, so I'll fight ably by your side. Face it, letting them throw the match wouldn't satisfy either of us. That, and I'd dislike giving less than my full effort."

There it was, her challenge, flung at Naruto, demanding nothing less than his best.

Draping herself over her Master, Drake gave his ear a hard tug, but her gaze-and her words-were not solely for him alone. "C'mon, let your instincts take over," she goaded. "Everything's so much better if you fight for it-food, women, victory. Besides, we're villains. That means if nothing else, we're allowed to be flashy. If you're going to be one, might as well be as flamboyant as you please. Don't hold back."

"Tch!" Her Master fought to free himself from her grasp, to no avail. "I'm not a villain, you hag! I'm the hero of this story!"

Naruto barked a harsh laugh that mirrored her own.

"Hahaha!" Oh, but he was! He just had yet to realize it! "Temper, temper little one! You've got big balls for being such a tiny man. I admire that."

"Hey, stop!" Try as he might, the bluenette couldn't writhe free of her grasping fingers. "I said stop! Don't pat my head, you baboon! And you reek of alcohol!"

Did she? Surely she hadn't had that much.

In any case the elevator chose that moment to open and she never had her answer.

The arena itself lived up to its name in both size and scope; in that it resembled a grand galleon of sorts, a sundered ship locked underwater and breached against a reeft. Bits of flotsam and jetsam drifted about outside of the barrier, caught by some unseen current. There was more than enough room to do battle here. One could unleash multiple Noble Phantasms at once and still have space left in spades. Say what you would about S.E.R.A.P.H. and the Moon Cell, but they knew how to prepare a battlefield. Both parties paused, somewhat swayed by the majesty of it all.

Hakuno swallowed thickly. "Its...bigger than I'd thought it would be."

A fine place for her final battle indeed, Drake mused.

Now if only Shinji would shut his mouth.

"What're you standing around gawking for?! All bark and no bite! That's what they say, isn't it?" Sure enough, when she came back to herself the stubborn hacking was braying on again. "Well, that's you! I'm gonna humiliate you two so bad that after this game you'll never crawl out of your mom's basement!"

"Really? That's the line you wanna go with?" Naruto arched an eyebrow. "You _do_ realize the loser of this battle will die, don't you?"

His words drove a spike of hesitation-and concern!-through Drake's heart. Until this very moment she'd assumed Shinji had at least known what he was getting himself into. After all, the Holy Grail War wasn't some grand game that one entered on a whim; this was a battle to the death, a hellish fight from which only one could emerge. Yest, only the victor earned the right to walk away. Everyone else was destined to die. Even with all the hacking prowess in the world, overriding the Moon Cell itself was nigh on impossible. Death was final here. If he didn't know that...

"Ha! Lies won't fool me!" Shinji's response only confirmed her gross miscalculation. "I'm not falling for it!"

The Unlikely Rider rolled his shoulders in a shrug. "Have it your way then."

...by the seven seas, her Master was an idiot.

"Oh, so your goal isn't just victory, but humiliation?" Outwardly however, she refused to let any such concern show, if only to avoid an embarrassing show of weakness. "What a greedy little boy you are, Shinji! Very well, I'll bring the rope for you to truss that little squirrel up once we finish with her Servant."

 _That_ had the effect she desired.

"Rope...?"

She'd thought to rile up Hakuno but no, it was _Naruto_ who whispered that word. For a fleeting instant-a sliver of a second-he sounded surprisingly vulnerable. Hakuno risked a glance over her shoulder at the stoic form of her Servant. A silent tremor wracked the whiskered warrior's body as he tucked his chin into his chest, his golden mane hiding that striking gaze from her view. For a moment-just a moment-she wondered if she might've made a mistake, might've pushed too hard in her attempts to make her fellow Rider fight with all his might.

Nah.

"Don't even think about going easy on them, El Draque." Shinji snarled, seizing on what he perceived to be weakness. "They should have backed down when they could-

In a flash of gold Naruto suddenly loomed before her Master, his teeth bared in a silent snarl, arm cocked back for a killing stroke. Drake rounded on him, summoning a pistol to her hand even as she realized her efforts to be futility in-and-of-itself. How had he gotten past her? She hadn't even seen him move!

"She warned you." the words were a hiss. "You should've stopped talking."

 _Too fast!_

Without thinking Drake spun to give her Master a hard mule kick in the chest just as those clawed fingers found the fabric of his jacket. Caught by the unexpected kick the loud-mouth Master found himself catapulted out of the blond's reach and backwards to safety. Shinji probably didn't see it that way. Rather than have his heart torn from his chest, he instead suffered the inimitable indignity of tumbling across the deck. Three times he bounced, skipping like a flung stone before crashing into the mizzenmast with a harsh crack. Judging by the awkward lurch of his body she suspected he'd broken something.

Broken was better than dead.

"My leg!" he cried, clutching at right ankle, "What the hell was that for, you bi-

Naruto's gaze snapped toward the boy like a razor whip, but it was _Kurama_ who roared.

 _ **"IF ONE MORE WORD COMES POURING OUT YOUR FOOL-MOUTH I WILL FLATTEN YOU!"**_

A cold light burned in those blue eyes and belatedly Drake realized she'd pushed too far, too fast. Much too fast. It wasn't fear she'd glimpsed earlier. Far from it. Even little Hakuno was gazing at her in silent scorn, though that scorn found itself far and away eclipsed by the towering fury of her Servant. Well! Mission accomplished then! She hadn't thought Rider was even capable of being angry! But this! THIS!

 _This was rage._

Pure glacial fury, a lake- _no, an entire ocean!-_ of emotion, frozen over in an instant. Oh yes, he'd swallowed her lie hook and sinker. Now she just had to survive whatever came next. He wouldn't be holding back now, not after all she'd said and done. She needn't worry about anything beyond killing him...or so she told herself. Then that glacial gaze snapped back to her and she found herself otherwise...preoccupied. On a whim, she drew her cutlass, sliding her rarely used weapon free from the aether-

It saved her life.

Cold steel kissed Drake's throat in the same instant that she raised her blade to the blond's nape. At a stalemate, both froze. Neither Rider relented. Now, on some level knew she ought to be happy. A heartbeat slower on her part an' that kunai might have taken her life. So why did that betrayed look sting so much? He looked like _she'd_ torn out _his_ heart and stomped on it. Damnit! She felt like she'd kicked a puppy! A puppy with teeth, she reminded herself as she gazed into those wild slitted eyes.

"Isn't it enough that you're trying to kill me?!" Her fellow Rider snarled at her over their crossed blades. "Do you have to humiliate her, too?! Show her mercy, at least!"

"Hmph, mercy isn't in my vocabulary." Drake riposted, forcing him to block lest he lose an arm. "I have a thirst for the finer things in life, and that's _all_ I care for." her eyes held Naruto, daring him to object-to challenge her lie-as they continued to dance around one another. "I may not have good fortune when it comes to men, but with humans or bombs, there's a certain fatal inevitability to life, wouldn't you say?"

A distant crash _-accompanied by Hakuno's startled yelp-_ informed her Shinji had climbed back to his feet and gone on the attack.

Good. Brat was finally making himself useful.

Naruto turned and nearly lost an eye.

"Pay attention!"

They broke apart in a flurry of steel and Drake found herself chuffed to be the one who drew first blood; a longer reach coupled with her cutlass allowed her to strike first and open a thin slice just above Naruto's right eye, momentarily blinding him. The blond retaliated by flinging his knife into her face, cutting a red welt across her thigh before slamming into the deck at her feet. Yet he hesitated on the follow-through, reluctant to seize the faux opening left to him when she tried to bait a flinch. Seemed she'd have to push harder to make him take her seriously after all.

"What's wrong, boy? Not so tough without that fox, are ya...?!"

Her fellow Rider pointed down.

 _...what was that crackling sound?_

She followed his hand and balked at what she saw.

This...this didn't make any sense. He'd only thrown one knife! She'd seen it! So why?! Why were the half a dozen surrounding her?! He was fast, she could accept that, but to throw five additional knives when she wasn't looking was unheard of. Meaning he'd likely duplicated the first somehow. What sorcery was this? When she looked to Naruto for some sort of affirmation, Drake found on his rapidly retreating back.

Too late, she saw the note wrapped around the hilts.

Too late, she remembered his fierce penchant for explosions.

 _Too late,_ she recalled exactly what she'd witnessed in the labyrinth.

Naruto's free hand snapped up, fingers forming an unfamiliar symbol of sorts.

The lone word that followed said seal was one that Francis Drake was painfully intimate with.

 _"Bang."_

In the ensuing firestorm Drake never heard herself scream; never felt her coat smolder away from her shoulders, never saw the burns blossom along the length of her forearms. No, it was the _smell_ that she remembered; the searing rush of heat and napalm that stuck with her even as her world went white. She could only breath, only gasp as the air seared her throat, as she stubbornly charged through in the vain hope that if she could just get past this, she would be able to make him pay It was all that drove her, all that sustained her in that moment

Then she was out the other side, hacking and coughing harshly.

...now that's more like it!" she croaked, grinning at him. "I felt that one!"

Another kunai clattered to her feet and she leaped back, expecting another blast.

"Ninja, remember?" The Most Unlikely Rider smiled ruefully. "If you're going to behave like this, then I see no reason to play fair. How'd you like my new trick?"

Ah, but _was_ it a trick? He'd had another chance to kill her just now, but he hadn't taken it. Had he so desired, he could've swarmed her with clones while she burned. Even now, she was vulnerable as she recovered, barely able to do anything until Shinji noticed her and fired off a code cast.

"What's wrong, afraid to use your clones?" she hissed out on a thread of breath. "Don't want to tire your little chick out?"

This time, there could be no mistaking the slight twitch in Naruto's face; one that betrayed his concern. He wanted her out of the way, and quickly, while conserving the lion's share of his mana. Something spiteful stirred in her at the sight. Worried about his little squirrel, was he? Tough. He'd be focused on _her_ for the duration. When she was through with him, he wouldn't even look at that pipsqueak. Wait. Where had _that_ thought come from?

Casting off that unexpected thought and the whispers it brought, the King of Storms took up arms once more.

Shinji must've finally noticed her, for a wash of healing energy burgeoned her body at these words.

"Now, are you ready to go for broke?!" she roared!" Its time to splurge!"

Blue eyes narrowed. "Now that's not fair at all."

"I'm a pirate you, fool! I don't give a-

Pivoting away from her blade, the Unlikely Rider abruptly surged forward. No doubt intending to bound over her and go to his Master. As if she'd let him! Simultaneously pleased and annoyed by this change of pace, Drake thrust her sword to the deck and took up her pistols, one to each hand. Drake waited, tensed at his approach, watching his legs tense...

 _...there!'_

Her pistols barked leaden death just as he leaped, a quintet of shots bursting from the twin guns as one.

Three shattered into harmless ash as he battered them away with one quick arc of his knife. Three others took him in the upper torso as she unloaded a fresh volley into his flitting form. Three more were evaded entirely as the blond impossibly twisted his body in midair. Her final shot missed entirely as he _spun_ to seize hold of a nearby rope and swung away, using the excess momentum to vault out of her range. Alighting upon the starboard side of the ship, he paused just long to snap off a one-fingered salute in her general direction before hurling a brace of shuriken toward Shinji.

"Hey! Hands off the kid!"

True to his base nature, her Master abandoned his short-lived attack on Hakuno with a shriek and ducked behind the main mast for safety. Hakuno, lacking much in the way of offense, immediately took the opportunity to retreat to her Servant's side. The quick, thankful look she flashed him set Drake's blood to boiling.

"Come back here, coward!" She bounded after him with a roar, snapping off a wild shot as she charged. "I'm not done with you yet!"

Rather than dodge, Naruto simply caught the bullet in his teeth.

Still grinning, he bit down and shattered it utterly.

 _Gods that was so freaking metal of him._

Almost made her proud, really.

Unfortunately, that _pride_ was overshadowed by all her unyielding rage!

With an oath that would've made even the sternest of sailor blush, the scarred Rider called down her heavy artillery. Four towering cannons manifested just above her shoulders in an instant; their purpose manifest, intent clear. Drake crossed both arms before her bosom, a rare grin stealing across her stern face. Within moments they were primed, ready to fire. Heat built in the barrels, pure energy ready to be unleashed at a moment's notice. These were weapons of myth forged by her legend, not even a fifth of the true firepower she possessed.

It would suffice for the opening volley.

"Naruto!" her voice carried even at this distance, the terrible frothing fury behind it proved startling even to her own ears. "After all you've said to me, you're not going to try and dodge this, are you?! We wouldn't want to hit that brat behind you now, would we?!"

Blue eyes bulged.

In the same instant he gave Hakuno a hard shove to safety.

"Scoot!"

Then his world became fire.

Much to Drake's delight he didn't even deign to dodge, pausing just long enough to cross his arms before the blaze consumed him. She liked it so much that she loosed another volley. And another. Another still. Only when she felt her energy begin to dip did she relent, her feisty gazed fixed firmly on the burning horizon. When he made no effort to emerge from the roaring conflagration, delight withered into disappointment. Surely he wasn't down already. Surely someone of the Rider class wouldn't fall so easily...

"How'd ya like that?!" She shouted into the blaze. "Hot enough for you?!"

The faintest breeze at her back informed was her only warning.

Then she knew only pain.

Naruto's counterattack came hard and fast; that same spiraling sphere she'd glimpsed before in the labyrinth now smashed into the spine of the unprepared Francis Drake with the fury of a thousand men. Her body didn't so much lurch as it did soar-ripped from her perch on the deck she found herself smashed down deep into the hold in a vortex of writhing energy, a veritable maelstrom that consumed and thrashed and ripped and tore at her already faltering defenses until nothing remained.

Again, he didn't kill her.

Drake expected more of the same anger from him as she scraped herself off the floor, or hesitation at the least.

What she received instead was...

...silence. Cold, bitter silence.

He stood above her, framed in the waning light of the arena, and that whiskered face held no scorn for her. No hate. No spite. She was beginning to think that he simply wasn't capable of it anymore. Rather than foolishly chase her down into the great tear he'd made, he waited patiently for her to gather her strength and leap out. To face him once more. Only then did Drake truly glimpse the inscrutable expression he wore. No, it certainly wasn't anger lurking behind those beautiful blue eyes.

On the contrary he appeared...disappointed in her.

"I thought you were better than this, you know." to her dismay she realized he'd seen through her ruse-worse, he pitied her for her charade. It only made he flames of her hatred burn hotter. "You don't need to threaten me to make me fight. But that's not what this is about, is it?" No. No no no! Not pity! She despised pity! Loathed it! Had no need of it!

"Don't look at me like that!" in that moment, something tore at her. "You're no better than me!"

To her mild chagrin, Naruto didn't react to her final taunt.

...you're right. Lets make an end of this."

Instead, he raised his right arm.

"Hakuno. Stay back."

She did just that.

 _ **"Kurama."**_

When next he spoke the very earth trembled underfoot. His partner needed no further provocation; he all but leaped from the brunette's shoulder's to alight upon the blond's outstretched palm. Terrifying eyes darker than any abyss held hers, narrowed with scorn. There was no witty retort offered here, no subtle jab at her less-than-honorable tendencies. He simply gazed back at her silently...and perhaps a bit sad. Or annoyed. Hmm. She couldn't rightly be sure. Animals were always hard to read.

Naruto held out his arm and Kurama leaped off it.

Warily, Drake watched him vault forward-

"WHATINTHEBLUEHELL?!"

In place of the once puny fox she suddenly found herself face to face with a towering _kitsune_ large enough to easily crush her underfoot. Her mind's eye recalled the glint in Naruto's eye when he'd called Kurama his Noble Phantasm. With a mounting sense of dread she realized she might've finally bitten off more than she could chew here. He was of the Rider class, after all. It only made sense. She'd expected he had _something_ to do with Naruto's summoning, but never in her wildest dreams had she thought something like _that_ could be brought back into the world. It reeked of divinity, or something perilously close.

She couldn't kill this thing.

Not by herself, not with her cannons alone.

She'd have to use the Wild Hunt, and perhaps not even then-

The fox's maw parted and her fear came roaring back to life in that moment. **"Now, then."** his voice was thunder itself. **"What was that about a snack?"**

"Rider!" Shinji shrilled at her. "What the hell are you doing?! Use your Noble Phantasm already!"

Perhaps he was right.

There was nothing left to be gained by holding back now, not against something like _that._ She didn't relish the thought of being caught in those jaws. Any thought she'd had of dragging this fight out had died a swift death the moment she laid eyes on that _thing._ If she didn't bring it down now it would drown her, sure as an ocean grave. The idea galled her more than words and she fought down a shudder.

"Here is where my life stretches!" She flung a pistol upright and fired a lone shot as Naruto advanced on her. "Remember my name as you go! Temeroso el Draque!" The air rippled at her call as her ultimate weapon made itself manifest, the greatest fleet the world had ever seen. "I am the woman who set the sun! You rascals, it's time! The King of Ghosts, Night of the Storm, this is the beginning of the Wild-

 _And then the fox exhaled._

A swell of overwhelming light-could light be black?-burst from Kurama's jaws just as the first of Drake's ships emerged. Caught unprepared by the sudden surge, a dozen vessels were annihilated outright, followed by a score more as the great beast brought another blast to bear. More followed in their wake as the nine-tailed beast unleashed a fresh shot.

Drake choked, a specter of hopelessness stealing over her bravado.

By then the rest had realized the threat and converged their fire, only for the towering kitsune to leap at the nearest and using it as a springboard. One of them actually managed to rattle off a volley, but the towering fox simply shrugged it off and leaped again, tearing it asunder with a fresh scream in return. Something buckled in her at the sight. No. No, this was all wrong, it wasn't supposed to happen like this! The Wild Hunt was her trump card, her ace in the hole, and yet this thing...this thing...!

"Terrifying, isn't he?"

Her gaze snapped back to her flank, only to find a familiar pair of blue eyes blazing into her own.

"Don't worry. Kurama isn't here to fight you." Naruto cracked his knuckles slowly, painstakingly, as he closed the final gape between them. "His job is to keep those pesky ships of my-our-way while you and I have a little chat."

"And what do you know?!" she shrieked!

He barreled forward, heedless of the gunfire she greeted him with.

"No. I don't know everything. But you appear to be the one...who knows NOTHING!"

One shot found his shoulder in a grisly red spray, another his side, and still a third caromed off a kunai as he swatted it away. Yet still he bulled on towards her, fearless in the face of her fury. By the time Drake realized her peril and through to pull out her cannons it was already too late. A clenched fist halted mere centimeters before her and her body betrayed her in an actual flinch this time. A feint?! A knee greeted her gut, driving the wind from her lungs as surely as a storm at sea. Her cannons howled in his face and he swayed low, allowing their concentrated fire to sweep harmlessly overhead, then rewarded her with a headbutt of his own.

"Misery, misery, misery." the words escaped him as a growl as she stumbled away. "That's what you've chosen."

A right hook crunched hard against her face, driving the breath out of her again.

"I offered you friendship and you spat in my face. And for what?! A fool!"

Clenched knuckles sheathed themselves in her stomach, punctuated by two quick strikes to her abdomen. A booted foot swept her legs when she tried to scramble away, uncaring as her cutlass cut a red trench across his forearm in retaliation. Buckshot lodged in his chest and still he fought on, kicking her to the deck. When her sword struck out again it speared straight through the blond's hand; rather than retreat he closed his bloodied fingers around it and ripped it from her grasp entirely, flinging it over the swaying rail.

"Hell, I didn't even want to kill you! But you've left me no choice!"

Her cannons thundered back at him and this time, he proved a hair too slow.

He still didn't slow. "Sheesh, I blew off half your face! How are you still moving?!"

Naruto turned his head and spat out a tooth, glowering at her as his visage knitted back together.

"Because we are legends, you and I! DO YOU HEAR ME DRAKE?! Legends! Heroes? Villains? Good? Evil? What do those words mean to us? Nothing! We're beyond that! Believe me when I say that short of chopping off my head is going to kill me; and I'll be damned if I expect any less of you! Now! Bring out your cannons, El Draque! Call down your Armada! Unfurl your sails! I'll take all that you have and sink it!"

His speech left her torn; she wasn't sure if she should kiss him or simply kill him.

...you know, in another life, you'd have made a good first mate."

"Less talking more shooting!" he fired back.

Outwardly, she feigned a smile.

"Aye-aye, roger wilco!"

Inwardly, however, her mind flailed madly for a solution. For a plan that would extricate her from this mess she'd gotten into.

It found one quickly, almost immediately. Shinji had all but soiled himself from fear. Even now he was scrambling back as Hakuno stormed after him. Useless. She'd find no help there. Kurama remained preoccupied with the Wild Hunt, preventing her armada from raining down its wrath upon them. That...left Hakuno all but unguarded, unprotected even as her Servant continued to beat Drake to a bloody pulp. It would be the simplest thing to fire on her from here. But would she? _Could_ she? Something in her recoiled at the thought. It felt...cheap somehow, as though doing so would forever stain her legacy-

"Rider! By my Command Spell, I order you! Kill this stupid bitch! Kill her now!"

In the end, the choice was taken from her when Shinji raised a hand. Had he simply shouted at her, she could've ignored him and fought on in the slim hope of victory but no, she already felt it. The command latched onto every fiber of her being, burned through her very soul and took control. Even as her mind remained her own and she protested, her saint graph betrayed her. It was useless to resist; doing so only weakened her further as another blow rocked her world internally.

 _'Sorry, kid. Nothing personal.'_

She turned her cannons.

Naruto saw. Stiffened.

"No!"

It was a split second decision; a choice made in a matter of moments.

Hakuno scarcely saw it as such; one moment Naruto had been beating back Drake; the next he turned and flung himself at _her_ instead. A golden hand graced her shoulder and _shoved_ pushing her out of harms way before she could comprehend the danger, before she realized what was happening, indeed, before she could even think to cry out. Only then did she see. Time slowed to a crawl, all the colors of the world taken at a draw, fading to black and white as she soared backwards. The faint scent of gunpowder wafted on the breeze.

And for the first time since they'd met, Naruto cried out in pain.

The four-fold blast took him low in the side and blew off a leg, flinging him away like a broken doll. It all seemed to unfold in slow motion for Drake. She knew she'd hit him, knew she'd only gained said hit because of her Master's cheap tactics. Even so she couldn't bring herself to look away. Kurama spun, distracted by Rider's pain, and was promptly struck down by a concentrated volley. He struck the floor of the arena and tumbled away with a wordless cry, his large form already shrinking as the link between them faltered.

Somehow, the sound reactivated Shinji.

"YES!" With an exultant cry the boy threw his arms back and rejoiced. "It worked! I knew it would!"

Somehow, Drake doubted that had been his plan at all.

Idiot, he'd wasted a Command Seal on this?

Unfortunately her Master's...less than stellar choices didn't end there. Rather than retreat and allow her to finish the job like a _professional_ the little scamp insisted on trying to make his way over to Naruto. Nevermind the fact that Hakuno was nowhere to be seen, nevermind that her Servant was still very much alive-though mortally wounded perhaps-he had to be a fool and twisted the knife. The thought caused her to banish the Wild Hunt without hesitation. That was overkill now. It wouldn't be needed...for what came next.

"Listen, we really should-

"No!" her Master batted away her hand. "I want to savor this!"

So she allowed him to limp closer, her scorn growing with every passing moment.

"Not so tough now, are you?!" He grinned at the still form. "Any last words before we finish you?!"

Gods that boy needed to clam up. To her surprise however, laughter greeted them. Sprawled on the deck though he was, the Red Rider only grinned.

"I'll give you this much; your strategy was flawless." Naruto croaked, propping himself up on his elbows. "Really. I had no way to counter beyond throwing myself into the line of fire. "But you. Made one. Fatal. Mistake."

"Oh, and what's that?" the blue-haired boy scoffed back, sneering.

Rider started as strong hands clamped onto her leg and dragged her down with a hoarse yell. In a fit of brilliance she realized what was about to happen-that she'd been played-and tried to fought upright, to no avail. Her opponent was well on his way to restoring already, and he clung onto her like a tenacious possum, refusing to release her.

A flickering crimson blur burst behind the still-stunned Shinji.

 _"You underestimated her."_

Perhaps, had her "Master" been more knowledgeable they would've realized their peril; Rider could transfer his cloak with a touch, lend his energy to those he deemed worth. He'd done so earlier, mere moments before his legs had been blasted off his body. But they did not, and they WERE NOT and thus, they fell prey to the oldest trick in the book. Small knuckles swung back, forming a claw, the borrowed shroud mimicking her movements like some twisted puppet. Bright eyes blazed up, wild and furious, framed by wavy brown hair. A lone, fell declaration ripped through the poor Master's ears as he stared death in the face.

 _'I've blundered.'_

Hakuno showed no mercy.

"Get away **...FROM MY RIDER!"**

Five chakra-coated claws raked across Shinji's face, taking his eyes before seizing hold of his visage. A strangled scream fled from his lips but Hakuno didn't hesitate; rather, she paid it no mind and bulled onward, hauling him forward to slam his spindly body against the ground. Something broke in her grip and she screamed, dragging him hard.

Furious, she turned and spat, kicking him away.

Even from this distance Drake could see the blood.

Those wounds were mortal. It was only a matter of time now.

"Wait! No! Stop!" Perhaps realizing his peril, Shinji began crawling backward like a drunken crab. "You can't do this to me! I'm only eight years old!" His words stood at odds with his older avatar, but they ran true in spite of his overwhelming fear. "Would you really kill a kid?!"

To her credit, Hakuno actually hesitated at that.

"Don't!"

Looking back, Drake didn't even realize Naruto was no longer clinging onto her back. By the time she realized those cloying hands had released their hold on her-by the time she saw it was already over. Perhaps Hakuno realized what Naruto had intended as well. Perhaps she realized he intended to take the killing blow himself, to keep her from bloodying her hands. Perhaps not. In any event, it was already too late. A single bound carried the little brunette forward, bringing herself well within striking distance. She couldn't let her do it.

She didn't give Shinji time to think.

Not even to defend himself.

Silently, she took aim...

"Sorry about this."

 _...and fired._

A single round impacted Shinji's skull before he could even realize his own peril. It was a clean shot. Through and through. A quick death. Nearly instantaneous. Shinji scarcely had time to realize his demise before his gaze rolled back into his head and he breathed his last. Drake felt it, then. Her contract, already weakened, finally guttered out with nary a sigh. Well. This certainly wasn't how she'd expected to go out. Hakuno spun, rounding on her with those big brown eyes, wide and confused. Poor thing. She really wasn't cut out for this war.

Gasping, she tumbled backward into Naruto's arms.

"Ah...I see. If this is death...if you're the one to kill me...then I accept it."

Perhaps the Moon Cell took mercy on Francis Drake for this last honorable act; because her broken body began to crumble almost immediately. A faint fuzzy sensation interposed itself over her senses, bringing with it an almost pleasant numbness. Her already blurry vision collapsed further, tunneling on itself.

"You idiot!" Oh. Was Naruto shouting at her? "Why did you do that?"

"Had to do it." she sighed, even as she began to falter. "You never would've taken me seriously otherwise. I had to push you, make you _want_ to kill me. As for my Master...

She settled for a mute shrug.

"No, wait!" Flailing, he grasped at her fading form. "Hang on! Damnit, I can fix this! I know I can...!"

Damnit, why couldn't he just let her died in peace? He had to make her emotional at the last. For a brief moment the pall lifted and those iron arms encircling her were warm. Terribly so. It would be so easy to just close her eyes and drift off. Maybe she should. Ought to be less embarrassing. The idea of simply fading out like this...hurt. She wanted to spend more time with him. To laugh. Live. Love. The last thought rattled her badly, if only now that she'd admitted to herself. No wonder her pride had bristled so badly when she'd seen them...

...you're a nice person, Rider." her pale visage curved in a small smile, her good hand rising to cup his face. "Too nice. Still...I think that's why...at the end...I think I really...did love...

 _You._

Hakuno knew the word, though Drake never spoke it. The scarred pirate was too proud. Too stubborn to admit the truth, even in her death throes. She _cared_ about Naruto. Perhaps that was why she'd attacked him with such ferocity. She hadn't been able to do anything about it; nothing to help, not even a Code Cast of her own. She simply had none to use. As she looked on, watching her body crumble, she regretted that powerlessness, the same emotion in her own Servant's eyes. Why else would he shed tears for her? There was nothing he could do. Nothing she could-

Wait.

Her gaze shifted.

Fell upon her right hand.

Rather, the marks lurking there.

There _was_ something she could do.

Naruto had drilled everything he knew about the war-and the Moon Cell had given him quite a bit-into her head. He'd also told her of the Command Spells she bore. To never use them, unless it was an emergency. These three marks could accomplish almost anything. Make the impossible possible. Surely Drake didn't deserve to die like this. She admittedly knew little about the flashy Servant beyond her penchant for cannons, but she seemed nice enough, and Naruto clearly cared about her. Naruto, who had been so kind to her, so proud of her, always working her, always pushing her to be her best, yet never so much that she might break.

Never once had he asked her for anything, never had he demanded anything in return.

He, who refused to abandon her when all others did.

It was time to repay that favor.

With that, the smallest of seeds sprouted in her mind, a tiny idea rapidly taking root. Could she do it? Was it possible? She didn't know. No, she had no way of knowing. She, who was very much a failure of a Master, who knew only what little she'd been taught, forced to garner information secondhand. It should, in theory. The principle was sound. Of course, it could kill her. But that miserable look etched into her Servant's face was far worse.

Grimacing, she rose from where she had fallen on her knees and gripped her wrist.

"Heed my words!"

Both Servants snapped to the right.

She held out a hand, palm splayed towards Drake.

Upon her wrist a single Command Spell pulsed in time with her heart, resonating alongside her words. A single stark red symbol stood out amongst the trio, writhing and humming like a thing alive. The privateer realized what she intended in an instant; Naruto was only a heartbeat behind, blue eyes bulging, but in his weakened state couldn't climb upright. What was she thinking? Trying to forge a second contract with a Servant was one thing, but to do so while one was dying and the other on death's door...!

"My will creates your body," she intoned solemnly in time with each faltering heartbeat, words rising over the fading din in her ears. "And your might guides my destiny...

 **"Oi! Stop! Stupid squirrel!"** Kurama hissed! **"You're going to burn yourself out! You'll die!"**

"Will...not!" Hakuno bulled onward through gritted teeth, heedless of their shouts and curses and pleas to cease. "Servant before me...if you heed the Grail's call and consent to my will and reason...the answer me! Do so and I will entrust my destiny to your fleet!"

Gasping out the last, she dropped to her knees before Drake and offered a hand, fingers splayed.

 _"Please!"_

Those wide brown eyes-that earnest plea of a maiden's heart-bored into Drake, and held her fast. Fixated her. Rooted her. Even in her last moments she felt some semblance of exasperation, a stray spark of painful pride reluctantly stirred up from the dying ashes of her heart. Foolish little girl. Why take this risk? For her? For Naruto? Or for something else? She didn't know. Her arm twitched, a silent longing springing to life deep within.

Trembling fingers stretched out, brushing her own.

...what the hell. I accept these terms!"

Then there was light.

* * *

(...0o0o0...)

* * *

"Reckless little squirrel!"

In the roaring sea of light and brilliance that followed, Francis Drake was vaguely aware of the events that followed; of a great presence brushing against her consciousness. Be it innocent of malignant she knew not, but whatever it was, it seemed...pleased with her. She must've blacked out somehow in the interim, because when she woke the arena was gone, replaced by the hideous white-washed walls of the infirmary.

Indeed, when she finally came to, her next sight was that of Naruto shaking his poor Master like a leaf. The sight was only made more comical by the small form of Kurama tuggng at her ear.

The trio turned when she stirred.

...why're you looking at me like that?" she muttered as climbed to her feet. "Is there something on my face? Oi!"

Hakuno clapped both hands to her mouth. "Oh, dear."

Only the did Drake realize she was looking _up._

Her head barely came up to Naruto's chest.

What in blazes?

"Don't freak out!" Naruto's hands waved wildly even as she opened her mouth to shout. "Hakuno doesn't have enough prana to actively support both of us at the same time yet! With me so far? Looks like you got the short end of the stick. Supposed I ought to count my blessings. That could've happened to me." As she looked on in quite consternation he thumbed his chin and chuckled softly. "Although its not a bad look for you, all things considered _...shorty._ Maybe we can find a way to fix this...?"

 _Drake tilted her head._

"What are you on about...?" Why did her voice sound higher?

A broken shard of reflective glass sailed her way in response, leaving her to flail at it.

"Here." her fellow Rider exhaled in a long-suffering sigh. "Probably better if to show rather than tell you...

The pirate queen reached for the tumbling piece, only to find that she had to _reach much_ farther than expected to grasp at it. Not by much, but for a Servant the distance proved noticeable. Was her depth perception off somehow? Was this a side effect of forging a new contract on the verge of "death" as she'd been? Naruto was openly grinning now, but somehow his words still didn't register until she saw herself. _Truly_ saw herself.

Turning the broken shard over in her grasp, she balked at the girl staring back at her.

Indeed, the pristine visage that stared back at Francis Drake was most certainly her own and yet not. Her scar remained but faded, more an annoyance than the grisly reminder of her past legacy. A hand rose in confusion to trace this strange reflection. body felt firmer in places, yet lighter in others, as though she'd cast off a terrible weight she hadn't been aware of. And her girls...well. Not much change there. This new appearance stood in silent testament to a portion of her legacy, one she'd rather not speak of, an era where she'd only just set out onto the sea. She was most assuredly still herself, just...younger. Shorter, too. By at least a head!

A muscle jumped in her jaw, pounding alongside a thick vein in her temple.

Naruto was openly laughing now, and her cheeks began to burn.

In the end, only three words came to Drake's mind.

Aqua orbs bulged explosively.

 _"Shiver me timbers!"_

 **A/N: STOPU!**

 **Hakuno is NOT going to go around saving every Servant she finds. At most she can only pull this trick off _one more time_ and that's assuming she has the mana for it. As you can see, there are...a few side effect with forging a new contract with a fading Servant when one doesn't have enough circuits to adequately sustain them.**

 **And there we have it.**

 **Naruto definitely channeled a little bit of Archer's snark there at the end.**

 **YES, that "Berserker" you saw earlier was exactly who you thought it was. His name stars with B-E-O- and ends with W-U-L-F.**

 **And YES Tamamo and Nero get far more screentime in the up-and-coming chapters.**

 **Let it not be said that I follow conventional rules!**

 **Hakuno's taken custody of Drake, Shinji is gone *spits* and now our poor little squirrel has to contend with two Servants. The latter is also trapped in a teenage form at present, much to her infinite consternation. Confused? Think of Medea Lily or Artoria Lily. Now we've got Drake Lily, in her late teenage years. Let me know if you want it to last, because that's going to kick up all kinds of chaos.**

 **And yes, Hakuno HAS stolen Servants before. Fate EXTELLA explicitly states it at one point.**

 **Furthermore, Command Spells CAN be taken from someone, but its not a nice process.**

 **I don't think anyone is going to weep for Shinji.**

 **So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the previews!**

 **May the make ya laugh!**

 **(Previews)**

 _"You're sooooo fluffy~!"_

 _Kurama absolute hissed._

 _ **"One more word and I'll bite you."**_

* * *

 _"Boy bring that ass here before I drag it myself!"_

 _The enemy Servant took off a dead sprint._

 _"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"_

* * *

 _...is this really necessary?_

 _"You tried to shoot Hakuno in our fight. I'd say it is."_

 _"But whyyyyyyyyyyyy~?!_

* * *

 _"Why help us?"_

 _Her tail was actually wagging. "Why, that handsome soul of yours, of course! Can I have it?"_

* * *

 _He offered her a mug._

 _"We're Servants, you know." Drake deadpanned. "We can't get drunk...I think."_

 _"Never know until we try!"_

 **R &R~!**


	6. We're All Killers (Interlude)

**A/N: HA! Double update! Well, this and a new story, but still!**

 ***EDIT* Let the updates continue!**

 **Could the trolls please stop? I've had to delete fifty-FIFTY!-reviews of nasty vitriol in the last hour or so and its making me upset. I've also had a rather nasty chap known as "Doom Marine" chanting at me to kill myself in the review section of my recent stories. Look if you don't believe me. Jokes on him though, that's not my real name.**

 ***Secondary Edit***

 **I published this earlier, but the notification only came now? I don't know why? Notifications are being delayed again? I don't know? How many times has this happened in the last month? No one is to blame for it of course, the site just goes wonky sometimes. Really kills my drive to write though...**

 **Because this hasn't gotten any reviews for this chapter...**

 **Only flames...cruel...nasty, vicious flames...**

 **...and that makes me a sad boy.**

 **So...reviews? Please?**

 **I'll beg if I must.**

 **T_T**

 **So, yes, this is an interlude before we move onto the second selection. It necessary, because this was the plan all along.**

 **Anyone remotely familiar with Fate Extra, Grand Order, or Extella will know what we're dealing with here.**

 **As ever, this will be gone in two days if folks don't like it.**

 **References for days, and I own nothing.**

 **I dearly hope you like it.**

 **Sorry if its short.**

 _"We're all killers here, yes, we're all killers here."_

 _"Call it honor, call it grace, call it a fist in your face."_

 _"Don't care, doesn't matter, because we're all killers here."_

 _~?_

 **We're All Killers (Interlude)**

 _Hakuno ran._

Through twisting corridors, around maze-like obstacles and into enemy programs alike; she ran for her very life. Her heart hammered like a frantic jackhammer in her chest, her lungs burned and her calves ached like no tomorrow, but still she ran. If she stopped, she would die. If she tripped she would die. If she so much as bothered to _look back_ she would die. This was not a drill. Not some twisted idea of training on Naruto's part. She almost wished it were. Training, that she could deal with. Naruto's neurotic notions of practice were dangerous enough, but they weren't inherently _lethal._

How had it come to this?

One moment she'd been settling in for a comfortable night's sleep after the first round. Everything had gone smoothly. Everyone-who mattered-had survived and Shinji was gone. Drake and Naruto had been squabbling on and on about something, but she hadn't paid then any mind. Instead she'd chosen to drift off and leave them to it, content in the knowledge that Kurama's small, fuzzy body was curled onto her chest.

Then, quite suddenly, she wasn't asleep at all.

She hadn't so much as woken as she had been _pulled;_ hauled from one state of existence to the next.

Brown eyes had jolted open not to find the comfort of her covers awaiting, but an enemy Servant grinning at her.

He'd told her, in no uncertain terms, that she was going to die here.

She'd been running ever since.

Though she still barreled headlong into the maze, a small part of her wondered at how this had come to pass. Someone must've used hacking to get at her. That much was obvious. How had he found her? No, how had he pulled her into the arena at all? It shouldn't have been possible. There were rules. Safeguards designed to prevent such happenstance. Without them the Grail War would dissolve in a heartbeat; Servants would turn upon Masters they didn't like, Masters would try to murder other Masters in their sleep, everything would fall apart into tangled a mess from which no one would emerge alive.

Even she wasn't that naive!

So how?! Hacking or not, it took an _absurd_ amount of skill to circumvent the Moon Cell! Whoever did this, it was deliberate. Targeted.

Distant laughter shattered her thoughts. _"Kakakaka!_ Where are you, girl? You can't hide forever!"

This wasn't a dream. You didn't feel pain in a dream. You didn't bleed in a dream.

A soft cough from her shoulder reminded she wasn't entirely alone.

There was someone else she needed to protect.

By some chance Kurama had been dragged her-wherever here was-alongside her. It was the only reason she was still alive. Still running. Without Naruto to supply him with energy he was admittedly limited in what he could do to keep her alive; he'd only just managed to turn the first fatal blow into a bruising one, and that had drained him to near exhaustion. Even now he dropped on her shoulder like a wilted flower, clinging on for dear life.

Abruptly, he bristled.

 **"Jump!"**

Too late something-someone!-tripped Hakuno up.

 **"Idiot, don't stop!"** the fox hissed. **"Run! Now! Move it!"**

 _"Aha!_ There you are, little one." a familiar voice crooned in her ear. "You led me on a merry chase for awhile there. That's good; I'm tired of killing my prey without a sound."

Too late; even as the little brunette recovered and tried to launch herself forward she found herself face to face with a man clad in flaming clothes, his slim body blocking the path. Eyes like death regarded her, judged her, dismissed her, as though she were little more than an ant. Yes In this moment she could see herself as nothing else. An ant. Despite his slim stature she knew this to be a giant, a being she could never hope to defeat, much less evade. That he was actively toying with her was the only reason she yet remained alive.

 _Assassin._

This _had_ to be him.

A cold breath hitched in her throat as he stalked forward, her heart leaping into her lungs as she scrambled away. It couldn't end like this, not like this. Where was Naruto? Where had Drake gone? Surely they knew she'd gone missing by now. Theoretically, she knew she could summon one of them with a Command Spell...but a thorn of hesitation pricked her and held her back. She only had two left. The third had been used to bind Drake to her circuits. If she used the second, she wouldn't But if she didn't...!

Time slowed to a crawl as she watched him settle into a stance, _that_ stance again.

"Want to feel something, girl?" the Servant purred.

Hakuno shook her her head fiercely.

"Um...can I say no?"

"You can," the Servant replied with a mild smile, "But that doesn't mean I'll stop."

Stall. Now that he'd found her, she had no chance of getting past him. Not again. Not this time.

But if she could just distract him, keep his attention away from her, _keep him from killing her,_ then she might yet buy time.

"D-D-Don't you want to have a good fight, or something?" she stammered out. Oh gods. That sounded awful. "Creeping around like this, doesn't it strike you as a bit cowardly?"

Assassin's response was...not quite what she expected.

"It does. And I do, girl. That's why this is such a terrible shame for me," Li's shoulders slouched and for a moment, that smirk slipped. "I was rather looking forward to fighting that Rider of yours. He would've given me a good bout. Still!" quick as a flash, the killer's grim grin snapped back into place. "Orders are orders! Don't move, and I'll try make this as painless as possible."

Hakuno tried to reply, but felt her circuits blaze back to life as someone pulled _hard_ on her mana.

Oh, thank god. She'd stalled him long enough for one her Riders to notice her absence.

In the distance, someone absolutely _roared;_ the sound setting her ears atingle.

Despite her peril, she heaved a sigh of relief. _Gotcha_

Assassin's head snapped in that direction.

"Well." he swore. "That was fast."

Quite suddenly, he moved.

So too did another.

A blur of living gold interposed itself between Hakuno and that onrushing fist before the manslayer could deal the final blow. Then he struck back. A hand snapped up, swatting Assassin's strike down towards the ground. The other locked around that very wrist, and pulled him forward. Unbalanced by this sudden change of pace he was caught wholly of guard. Clenched knuckles barreled into the side of Li's face with a resounding _thwack_ of raw sound, sending a savage shudder through the Servant's very _existence_ as he stumbled away. Then he world went sideways as her injuries and exhaustion caught up with her.

Hakuno blinked.

Once.

Thrice.

Five times.

Oh, she realized, weakly.

Rider...his eyes were red. And he was glowing. Like a sun.

That was new...wasn't it? She didn't recall him being that bright before.

Her legs failed her in that instant and she toppled backwards with a weak sigh.

In the same instant a clone popped into existence behind Hakuno and drew her into its arms.

"You're alright now, little squirrel." it shushed her as she yelped, drawing her well back and aside from the fray to pressing healing hands against her wound. "You're alright."

When she dared to look back to the battle she saw that Rider had managed to close the distance between himself and Assassin; forehead slamming against his with a dull crack. He did not yield. Neither did his foe. For a terrible moment there was silence. And then.

And then:

The original _growled._

"You have my attention. I hope its what you wanted."

It was not, in fact, what Assassin wanted. No. Not at all. Not in the bloody least.

Rider blurred yet again, but this time the blur made the last all seem paltry by comparison.

A vicious reverse kick flowed into a block leading into a rabbit punch-a sharp chop with the edge of the hand to the back of the neck-controlled jabs and hooks mixed with a strange eastern martial art she didn't recognize, all blazing together in a single seamless tapestry of attacks that left her little head spinning. Assassin, even more so. Though the redheaded warrior stood fast in the face of her Servant's rage and fought valiantly with every drop of speed and skill he possessed, he soon found himself beaten back by the sheer breadth of the blond's fury.

"You."

THRUCK.

"Do not!"

THWAM.

"Touch my girl!"

BLAM!

Hakuno blinked.

 _'What did he just...?!'_

Each word brought with it more than a dozen blows on his part; a dozen strikes slamming down on every opening, every exposed vital with fists and feet and shins and elbows, like a drug trip of maddening proportions. In short, Assassin was overwhelmed. Not by any particular single strike, but rather by pure bloody ferocity. An array of impossible moves danced dizzily in Hakuno's eyes as they collided yet again, dancing a dangerous waltz without end, a vicious, violent variation of moves and sequences she couldn't comprehend. Although Li still outclassed Naruto in terms of skill that was where his advantage ended; but Rider was faster. Stronger.

Angrier.

You know what they say: Rage is a hell of an anesthetic.

At long last Li managed to catch a clawed fist, which in turn caused Naruto to lash out with the other, one that was also intercepted.

The two Servants stood still as stone as they grappled with one another; neither giving ground, dead black eyes blazing into baleful blue. A crazed smile flashed out in the dim light and for a terrifying instant Hakuno didn't know who she feared more; the smiling killer who'd nearly claimed her own life, or her own Servant. For her Rider looked _absolutely furious,_ veins pulsing in his forehead with every heartbeat. Then Naruto laughed and her feelings shifted firmly toward the former. Probably because he was gripping the man's arm in an iron vice and looked just about ready to rend him limb from limb.

"Good grief, Assassin." Strange, he sounded almost...disappointed as they struggled against one another. "Kidnapping the kid? Did you really think that would work?"

By now Assassin was visibly swaying on his feet and nursing an ugly black bruise on his cheek to boot. Yet he still stood.

"Kakaka!" Li uttered that strange laugh of his. "Well, well! Looks like you got me! Well played!"

Thus grinning, the redhead attempted to draw back and retreat.

An arm locked around his bicep, trapping him in place.

"You're right." Naruto sighed. "We do."

 _A sword slid through his chest._

Assassin croaked, dark eyes bulging as he gazed down at the bloody blade jutting from his upper torso.

"What...?"

It was a clean stroke through and through, a debilitating, cowardly attack dealt from behind; one that pierced both his heart and spiritual core alongside it. A thin line of blood ran down a lonely corner of his mouth as he gaped at the sword like a starstruck fish. He couldn't help but cough in surprise. This was all just so...sudden. Unexpected. He hadn't been prepared for it. His gaze had been too firmly fixed on the threat before him, too focused on the promise of a good fight to realize his own peril. He hadn't even been aware of the tiny presence creeping up on him until now, when it was far, _far_ too late to do any such thing about it.

While not immediately fatal, it did slow him, prevent him from using his superior agility to escape.

Yet despite this, or perhaps in spite of his realization that he'd lost, he couldn't help but smile.

Hakuno's mind began to bleat in quiet confusion while Li Shuwen swayed on his feet like drunkard at last call. Distantly, she was aware of Naruto stepping forward, placing himself between her and Assassin in the rare even that the latter had a final trump card to play. No. Rider-Naruto!-didn't use a sword. His fists and chakra perhaps, but never a sword. No, she realized as Assassin's killer ripped their cutlass free with a fiery flourish, her Rider hadn't dealt the fatal blow at all. But a _Rider_ still had. Naruto was right there. Which meant.

"Bingo~!" a cheery voice sang. "Got it in one."

A small hand mussed her hair as Drake sauntered over to her and sat down.

"What are you doing?" she murmured incredulously, struggling to lift her head as the clone tended to her. "Shouldn't you be helping or something...?

"Sitting." the small Rider declared, puffing out her chest as she sheathed her bloodied blade. "I've alreadydone my part. Far as I'm concerned, the rest is gravy."

But the little Master just kept _staring_ at her, and eventually she knew she had to concede. Damn kid. She might not be much of a fighter, but wielded guild like a freaking _sword._

"Alright, alright!" she sore, flinging her hands up in a fit of exasperated pique. "I'll go over there. But its already over, I tell you!"

And it was.

Before Li could think to draw back and attempt one last futile attack, Naruto had stepped in, ripped an arm free, formed a claw with his fingers, and thrust them forward. An angry Rasengan snarled into life on his palm mere moments before impact and the results...well...the results weren't pretty. Even as its lowest setting the spiraling sphere was dangerous. At max? It became a literal meat grinder. Rather than fling him away it bore down on Assassin and smashed him into the floor, drilling through his defenses.

Hakuno turned away as blood was shed.

Even the mighty Li Shuwen, with all his wit and skill, wasn't able to escape unharmed. In his mind's eye he saw Death coming at the last second, but he was powerless to evade. Nor did he wholly want to for that matter. For one who longed to fight worthy opponents the idea of defeat had always been a present one, it somewhat unpleasant. That he'd actually lost after experiencing the most vicious bout of hand-to-hand combat in his life was secondary by comparison.

He sagged against the blow, tittering softly to himself.

"Well...done...!" he laughed. "You got me!"

Drake crept closer still

"I **really** didn't want to kill you, and I'll probably be penalized for acting out like this." Naruto addressed the choking Servant with a critical eye, sighing softly as he gradually began to fade away. "But you and your Master started this farce and we had no choice but to respond. Honestly, trying get at our little squirrel before the next round was announced, physically drawing her into the arena...how low can you get?"

"You stole a Servant, idiot." To Hakuno's horror, Assassin laughed all the harder. "Did you think there wouldn't be consequences? Everyone knows now. "

"Do they now?" rather than display so much as an _ounce_ of the concern his Master was feeling, Rider merely tilted his head. "What of it?"

Li coughed harshly. "You're not afraid? They'll all be howling for your heads now...or doing what you've done."

Naruto arched an eyebrow as Drake finally sauntered up to his side.

"See, that's the thing about ninja, and pirates, too."

Drake dropped down on her haunches.

"We cheat." she sang right back.

Together, they grinned.

 _"So screw you."_

Silence.

Then:

"HA!"

 _Say what you would about Assassin, but he died laughing._

 **A/N: Hope you liked the little rhyme at the end there, it was meant to make you smile.**

 **Ha! You thought you'd never see me again, didn't you? Well, too bad! I'm alive!**

 **Though I can't say the same for poor, poor Assassin. Such a shame, really.**

 **That was a modified Perfect Cell quote, of course. I regret nothing.**

 **Didn't think I'd kill a Servant so soon, did you?** **This was the plan from the beginning; it just goes to show that no one is safe in this war. Now, I know many of you didn't know Li Shuwen (Assassin) but he's actually one of the more dangerous Servants out there. And now he's dead. Funny how that works. Its a shame, because he's one of my favorite Servants, but he was always destined to die after the First Selection.**

 **As ever, this will be gone in two days if folks don't like it. I dearly hope you like it.**

 **It really hurts that this story, despite the long chapters, has so few reviews.**

 **As ever, reviews are the wind beneath my wings.**

 **So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

 **...Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **And enjoy the previews!**

 **May they make ya laugh!**

 **(Previews)**

 _"Abandon your Master and serve me."_

 _Naruto actually blinked at the audacity of their command._

 _T_ _hen he reared back and slapped them right across the face. "In your dreams!"_

* * *

 _"Is this the first time you've seen someone die?"_

 _She nodded quietly. A mug landed in her hands a heartbeat later._

 _Large eyes fluttered open and shut._

 _"Drink up, kid."_

* * *

 _"Rider?"_

 _Naruto was silent for a long moment._

 _Then he shot across the hall like an arrow loosed from a bow._

* * *

 _"Long live the queen."_

 _"R-Rider! Stop it! Get up! This isn't funny!"_

 _"Aw, but you're just so adorable when you blush! I can't help myself~!"_

* * *

 _...I think they got the memo."_

 _Drake drew back half a pace, hiding behind him._

 _"How the hell," Naruto swore softly, "How does that schmuck have THREE Servants?"_

 _"I don't know!" she hissed with sour sarcasm, "How did YOUR little squirrel steal me from Shinji?!"_

 _"Sarcasm does not become you." Shit. Shit shit shit. Those three were heavy hitters. This boded...poorly for them._

 _It shouldn't have been possible. Were others taking cues from what they'd done? Were Masters just STEALING Servants now?_

 **R &R~!**


End file.
